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Is It The End?

Well... I haven't been here for a while but I need advice from girls that know what waiting really means.

For those that don't know the story here it is--- When "my" Marine left for boot camp we weren't a couple, we had dated and stuff but he said he wanted to take it slow and he knew how much waiting sucked and he didn't want that for me.

Once he graduated, I didn't get a chance to see him, he was busy with all his family. When he left he told me that he just really wanted to focus on his education that he wasn't telling me no, he was just telling me not right now.

Well while in Palm Springs he met some chick that lived around or close to base or something like that. And by this time, I was crazy busy with school and work and getting a promotion, we barely had time to talk. And I feel like this is where I went wrong, I lost him. He started to go out with this girl, and he told me he said he was sorry and that he loved me and that I was super special and sweet and he never meant to hurt me and he would always love me and that if I ever needed a friend or anything he was there for me.

They dated for 5 months were we sorta kept in touch, and then in May he got stationed in Japan. And the girl cheated on him.They broke up. He was badly hurt and still is hurt.

So we talk more now, sort off than what we did when he had this other girl. But we still don't talk as much as we use to or as much as I would like to.

A week ago I told him that I still felt the same way I had when he had left for boot camp. That everything I said then still stands now, and I have been waiting for him. I haven't dated since he left and I really don't want to.

The thing is that he wont give me a straight answer, he said that if he came back from japan and I was still here for him, then we could talk, then we could sit down and have a relationship. I don't understand why he cant have a long distance thing with me. I do not mind, and I've been waiting for him when we aren't even a couple and I have been faithful, of course I'll be faithful when we are one.

My civilian friends tell me to let it go, that it's not worth the pain and heartache that i'm going through. But gosh he is the first person that I feel so strongly about. I don't want to give him up with out even having a chance to find out if we could make this work.

What do you all think? Am I a pathetic loser and should let him be? Or do you think if I sit here long enough I might get my chance? Is it pointless? BTW he is in Japan for maybe 18 more months.

Sorry its so long, i just really need help.
Thundersheep Thundersheep 18-21, F 5 Responses Jul 11, 2012

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I agree with all these ladies. Lay it out to him that this isn't fair to you and that you will wait if he makes some sort of commitment. But 18 months is a long time to wait for a maybe. And then if he comes home and your still single then see what happens. I just wouldnt let good things pass you by for now.

Ok one of my best friends kinda just went through this. The ending he didn't want anything to do with her. He is stationed in Japan as well. While they would talk he would say things like if I wasn't in Japan we could try something blah blah blah. Well the fourth he came home. Before he came home he got in a relationship with a mutual friend of theirs and a couple days before he came home they broke up. Well now he's been home a week hasn't seen her, won't answer her texts, basically doesn't want to see her the entire month he's home. He did a bunch of the same things that your guy is doing to you. Wouldn't give her a straight answer on how he felt. If it were me and you were my friend Id say just let it go. He's just stringing you along because he can. Find a guy that will treat you right and won't play games with you.

I say tell him all of that, spell it out letter for letter. If you did that already then I say its what feels right. he's freaked about the distance because he was burned and doesn't want it to happen again. I know it's not fair for him to compair you and her but it would be really hard to separate that especially since he is so far away. I agree with both storm and bluejay, he's got you waiting right where he wants you for when he wants you but he never says I'm in this, he's holding you're heart and knows it and I've been in that relationship before. It's hard to walk away but at the same time how much are you willing to give up or miss out on because you are waiting for him.



I hope it all works out

I would suggest waiting for him as long as you want to. However, do not let other opprtunities pass you by! If you want to wait, then wait. But don't be afraid to live your life and accept someone else who comes into your life. Take life as it goes. Continue to tell him how you feel but don't "put all your eggs in one basket" so to speak. He isn't commited to you yet, so you do have the option to find someone else...only if you want to! Take the time you have to figure out if this is really what you want and go from there.



Good luck!

Hey honestly i think he's not really giving you proper answer almost like he's playing both sides of the coin honestly i understand he's most probably frigging nervous about getting involved in a long distance relationship but he's dangling you by a string you hanging onto a hope that may or may not happen!! Sweety if anything you need to protect yourself and i think you setting yourself up to get hurt again think about it objectively maybe i'm wrong i dont know - good luck!!