Today I feel numb.I am functioning but with out any real energy to do anything.I feel lonely but not unloved,sad but thankful .My bed is filled with pillows but this is not the same as feeling my Marine next to me and so Ill pray. Ill pray that God keeps both of us in each others heart. Ill pray that even though I feel numb my heart still pumps strongly for the love we share and the arms that we yearn to be in.I will pray that God keeps him safe where ever he is and that he knows I love him even though I feel numb today. And so with tears in my heart Ill pray.
greebrow greebrow
41-45, F
5 Responses Jul 15, 2012

I feel this way too. My marine has been gone more than 6 months and I have just learned he will not be coming home to stay as planned. Instead I have this numb feeling. I love him. It's just sometimes he's so far. I send him cards and care packages but because if his security he sends be emails, skypes every other week. I wonder if he is also numb. If he us safe. Will we make it through this. We had our 1yr anniversary with him away. He will miss my birthday. I pray he will be hone for his and he will get leave soon so I can hug him and feel something other than numb.

I feel the same way u do. I have not heard from him or seen him in months and it hurts. I try to keep busy but you are still alone at night. There r so many things I want to say and so many times the stresses of life get to me and I wish he was here for me to hold and cry. All I can say is I love him and I guess I hope that in the end everything works out. I have many numb days honey but everyday u will get stronger and better able to cope with their absence. I would give anything to just be wrapped up in the strong arms of my Marine and feel the tenderness of his warm lips. Keep your chin up .We have been chosen for this task and we will succeed in the end.Feel free to chat with me if u need strenght. Lol I may need u too.

Thank you so much for understanding. You will hear from him soon. Sometimes I feel my marine is too hard on himself and then of course because we can't talk as often I am telepathically busting his balls! Then when this happens I laugh at myself and relax. He somehow knows when to write. Its usually after I've processed my own emotions. I think he deserves to see what he puts me through. It may sound crazy, but I would actually want my apt bugged so he could feel and see some of my and of this. Feel free to chat with me anytime too :) Its ok to be angry and allow yourself to feel, even if it is numb. It makes it easier to feel love once you have actually gotten angry instead of pushing it down. I run when Im angry. I take my aggression out on the pavement, then it helps in a few ways. I look fabulous for my marine, ill be able to keep up with him when he's home and i feel better. Headed for my run :)

I feel so connected to you because we feel the same way. I take out my stresses at the gym. Hey we need to be sexy and as u said keep up with our Marines.Each day we get stronger for the task of loving these guys and to be honest when I think about how much love they give to us though the present situation is tough we love them very much. Enjoy your run an as I do on my way home after working out,send him kisses in the wind. :)

Aw this is awesome really!! honestly feeling numb is so natural when it happens to me it ha frigging finally lol weird i know!! You'll be fine you doing great hang there!!

Thank u.It means alot to me because I thought that these feelings that I have never existed with anyone else.

right on girl. you're strong and can do this, everyone has their down days, this too shall pass

Thank u. :)

Thank u.It means alot to me. : )

This is beautiful. Stay strong. Clearly this is bringing you closer to<br />
God. Just remember this is all part of his plan and he loves you