HeyHey lady's so gonna get the sad part out first cuz the rest will hopefully put me back in a good mood. So I watched brokeback mountain for the first time tonight, it just ended like 10 mins ago. and I cried for like 5 mins. I still don't understand half of the movie particularly the ending but Jack dying got me feeling really depressed. I'm not a God type person but I found myself telling any force that be out there that I need Jim and want to hold him till the day I die. I won't be watching that movie again for the record cuz I hate this train of thought where I just wish Jim was a normal guy who didn't have a passion for the Marines. And then I realize that I've never been a normal woman, I would never truly be happy if it was any other way. I love that he has such a passion for life and that part of that passion is being a Marine. It makes him the man he is and I'm proud to have him as my own, just hate this part where I have a breakdown because he won't always be safe and somehow I just have to be ok with that and trust his men will bring him home to men when that time comes.
Ok I'm done being depressing. He was out in the feild for a few days doing some sort of riflery stuff, he explained it so quickly and then changed the subject that I just decided to leave the subject alone cuz it wasn't that important that I understand...and he was mad cuz he didn't do as well as he wanted. To which he informed be he was braggin real hard last week about being so good and decided God was tellin him to knock it off. I laughed and said that'll last about a week... he told me to be quiet.
So anyways after he got back from the feild he text me and all day yesterday he was being a super flirt. we didn't actually talk about anything important or substancial. It was wonderful. I was working on organizing some stuff for my aunt and watching movies by myself. it was kind of perfect because even though we weren't talking non stop it was kinda like having him around. Oh and I made cupcakes, watched burlesque and ate junk food all night. Didn't hear from him after the cupcakes so I asummed he'd fallen asleep, kinda sad cuz I wanted to hear his voice but his last text ended in I love you so it was kinda not needed. he doesn't say it first very often and when he does I just about melt, this time it was not only said first but attached to some other powerful words that told me how very lucky I am to have him.
So today I wake up and have some breakfast and get a text "gonna play some drinking games with the guys gonna be up late but it's gonna be chill" I was like umm ok it's sunday but maybe he has monday off and didn't think anymore on it. He text me almost constantly for a few hours and then went to church with his buddy. Of course i'm shopping at this awesome outlet mall by my aunts and found 60 dollar shoes for 30, tank tops for 97 cents, and a bathing suit with a wire bra built in for 12.50....let me tell you I was on a roll with the bargians today! So I had been wanting to text Jim about all of this but tried to restrain from it cuz he was at church. when I found the suit I couldn't stop myself anymore I needed help deciding a color, thank god my bff came through cuz he didn't help at all, all I got back was a "yowza!!!!!!" ok thanks babe you're a lot of help....he said "ok the black one", I was like "sorry too late already got the teal one." he goes "ok can i still take it off you later?" I of course roll my eyes at this text and giggle to myself and remind him he's like 15 hours away. he was very talkative today though for sure. well until he got to his room and I assume fell asleep. I was busy painting my aunts kitchen table with chalkboard paint (it's gonna be epic!!!) so it wasn't a huge deal. i text him a couple times and finally I text "Hi this is your girlfriend and I'm in need of some attention! therefore you need to wake up!!" Ha! I got online 10 mins later and he got on fb and I said you're alive! he was like uh yea fell asleep and we chatted but he was doing laundry so it was kinda the slowest conversation ever. Although i did finally figure out that he doesn't have off tomorrow but his phone didn't send his text about going out last night till this morning...stupid phone lol.
He calls when he goes to take out the trash and says "This is you're boyfriend calling to give you attention!" Ha I was like I sent that over an hour ago!! He was like yea you know how my phone hates my room and decides sometimes it's not gonna get reception. We talked for a little bit and he tells me he likes my new suit. I tell him all about my steals today and he goes "guess I never have to worry about you spending all my money...you get so excited over the deals you'd think it was like gold!" I said "the tanks were 97 cents, that's unheard of! You're damn straight I'm excited!" He laughed and then got quiet as I told him that according to the wii I lost like 11 lbs.....no fricken clue how I managed that cuz the only thing I changed was working out. Which goes something like work out for 3 days take off 4 ha! ok not always that bad but sometimes. I said "umm you ok?" he goes "I have no clue what you just said but I just realized I'm wearing the wrong shoes to be outside. Get on google chat cuz I'm not getting chewed out for stupid shoes." I thought well ok then, that was really strange!
So we get on and I tell him about the weight again. He goes well how long ago did you weigh yourself before that? I said uh at your house like 6 months ago before you left. He goes well then you're losing it pretty steadily so regardless of why you are losing it, unless it becomes a problem then I'm not too worried about it babe. I was like I never said I was worried or complaining, I just have no Idea why I lost any to begin with.
He also asked about the interview I had (which last week when I talked to him before he left for the field he acted like he could care less about it) and if I had heard anything yet. i said they told me this week. We talked about his engagement watch, his roommate said oakley has a special site for military that has great discounts. We found the watch he wants but they only have it in silver and black. He wants a red face. I asked if he could wear the red one in uniform because if he can't then we need to think about this watch. He whined that he wanted the red one and I said "but the whole point was that it was a bad *** watch you could wear in and out of uniform, it's too exspensive to have if you can't wear it with your uniform, where are you gonna wear it? to the bar?" he said he would find out and then think about it but he really wants the red one. His roommate is part of the site (to see the actual price you have to have a login name) and the black or silver one is like 750....the red one because it's not part of the sites military dealio is at least 1,000. Either way I will get him the one he wants, just have to keep savin my pennies...I have a little over 400 saved right now :-) And then he went to bed and I watched that stupid movie that made me cry.
But I'm back in a good state of mind....sorry it was so long but it served it's purpose. So now I'm gonna try and get some sleep. Hope everyone is well
chiquitito 22-25, F 2 Responses 0 Jul 16, 2012