I just joined this group last night so I'm new to this. My boyfriend just left for boot camp and I have some questions for people who have gone through it already...

1) I love him so much but one of my biggest worries is that if we are apart too much we will fall out of love. Do you ever feel like you are just drifting apart and not going to make it?

2) Another thing I'm scared of is him changing. I know they are supposed to change for the better and be gentlemen but I don't want him to be completely different. What are some things that were different when your bf/ fiance/ husband got back?

And 3) I am starting school in a couple weeks and am trying to decide if I want to go full time or part time. I know I should go full time and get it over with but I worry about being at school and work all day when he does get back. How do you keep busy while he is gone but not too busy to where you won't have time when he gets back?

I know I have more but I can't think of any right now. Thank you for any answers, help, or advice. Its would be nice to have people to talk to that know what its like because my friends don't really know how to help me with these kind of things.
marinewife92311 marinewife92311
18-21, F
3 Responses Jul 27, 2012

Ok for the first question, definitely not. I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years and we've been through a lot. If anything, it'll make him love you more because he's away from everyone he loves. Just have faith (:<br />
For the second question, it all depends on the guy. My boyfriend was used to getting yelled. I mean it was hard for him, but he was pretty much used to it. As long as you're writing him and stuff like that, things will be totally fine. There are the few guys who do change, but other than that I'm sure you'll be fine. My boyfriend became more appreciative of me. Especially knowing after boot camp and the rest of his training, I stay faithful. Don't worry though! I had the same doubts as you. Stay positive! (:<br />
Personally, it depends on your work schedule. If you're working full-time, don't go to school full-time. It'll kill you lol. I've been going to school full-time(even throughout summer) for 3 years straight, and got a temporary job full-time and almost died from not having any free time. But if you decide to go to school full-time, only work 20-25 hours at the most. I'm saying this for your own good lol. As for when my boyfriend comes back or when I go to see him, I take off certain days of work. And for school, I make sure I take my tests ahead of time and talk to the teacher about it. And get the notes when I come back from a student. When he comes back, I usually don't take off of work since I'm only working part-time. As for school, I go to school and then I hang out with my boyfriend as soon as I get out of class. Just make sure you have time for yourself and to hang out with friends and stuff like that. Don't overwhelm yourself though. You will regret it later lol. Make sure to take off for his graduation though (:

Thanks, after hearing from so many other people I'm not so worried about those things anymore. From I hear this will make my relationship stronger. And as for school, I decided I am going to go full time and I haven't gotten a job yet so I'm gonna see how things go with school first. And I definitely will take off for his graduation!

Hey girl! Ha Just talked to you on another page but I thought i'd toss in my two cents. :)<br />
1.) Nathan (my recruit) and I tearfully joked that it felt like we were getting a divorce. It definitely hurts a lot and is scary but honestly the only thing your man wants is to have you back in his arms again. Stay positive in your letters and never let him forget how much you love him.<br />
2.) Truthfully...some guys can't handle it and do change. I think it's safe to say that this is a time when the men stand out from the boys. They will change when it comes to their lifestyle and attitude towards authority but his love for you will always be the same.<br />
3.) My suggestion to you is go part-time school and part- time work. Or take online classes. Usually school and even more so work, understand that you need some time to be with your man. Request homework early and ask for days off from work in advance so you don't have to worry about it when he gets home.<br />
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I hope I helped! I'm totally going through the same thing. I've had the mini-heart attacks, and the sleepless nights.<br />
I got into doing yoga though which has calmed me down so much, it's amazing and also i'm working two jobs to stay busy and save up some money for when Nathan gets home.

thank you! you have helped a lot. i am going to beauty school so i dont think i will have very much homework. i am going to go full time but i am going to ask them about taking days off before i even start and explain it to them. idk how missing school works there so i am definitely going to find out. and since joining and talking to other girls i feel a lot better about things. i think he can handle it and hopefully he will change for the better but i dont think he will change too much. and im not so worried anymore about falling out of love. i have never felt this way about someone and i think we can make it.

Oh well there you go! That's very cool. I'm sure they will have catch up days or an alternative.
I totally agree, i've been talking pretty consistantly to a few girls and it's awesome that they know exactly what i'm going through. I don't even bother putting mascara on anymore, I know if I get sensitive it's just going to come right off. :P
Proud of you girl! If you love your man like you say then he must be worth the wait. Feel free to message me anytime, it's always good to vent when you're upset or just to let someone know you got your first letter!

My boyfriend is at bootcamp right now, we're about two weeks in, I'm going to school fulltime and working part time. One reason I'm going to school fulltime is because I'm almost done with school, by the time my boyfriend is all done with his training I should be graduated, in my opinion i'd hurry up and get it done because you don't know what'll start happening down the road. As for the falling out of love I fall more in love with him every day that he is gone, but I do know how you feel because for awhile I had those thoughts too and even had bad dreams about it the first week. I haven't received my first letter yet but when I do I'm sure my boyfriend will reassure me that he is not falling out of love. I am also scared about my boyfriend changing too, we talked about it before we left and he assured me if anything he'll be a better person, I wouldn't really worry about serious change until deployment I think thats when it gets scary. But also other girls on this site have said that at graduation when they first see you they'll be a little different especially in front of their DI but afterward when they're dismissed from bootcamp they're the same boys that you knew before they left. I think it's natural to worry, but like other girls have said to me, instead of using your energy worrying about things that are negative, put your energy into supporting your boyfriend. He needs it now more than ever.

Thanks. For right now I am more confident than ever that we can make it and I do love him more everyday but I can't help but think about the fact that I have to keep doing this for 5 years and thats when I worry that it might be too much time apart for us.
I hear from a lot of people that once you start getting letters it gets better and time goes by faster cause you have that to look forward to, I just hope its true for me.
And as for changing.... there are some things that I hope he changes, he could use some maturing and manners lol but I'm just scared if he changes too much he won't feel the same way and think we aren't right for each other anymore.

I would go full time. I am going to school full time and working part time. He is only going to be home for 10 days after boot camp so you don't want to slow down school just so you can be available to him those 10 days. I am going full time because I only have a year left and I want to get done as soon as possible because once I'm done I can move to whereever he is. And as for the 5 year thing, I worry about that too (mine is doing 4). But that is why I am going to school full time so I can get out of school early that way besides deployments I only have to do this for 4 years, then I can go wherever he may be. I got the form letter yesterday and just that made my week! So it is true that once you start hearing from him it gets so much better!

Thank you and I am gonna go full time, I decided. Maybe I can take a couple days off if I need to but I will only have one year of school if I go full time so I am going to go ahead and get it over with. Plus that way I can hopefully move to where ever he is when I'm done too. I have a question... Could I still move with him even though we aren't married? I know I couldn't live on base but if I got a place would he be able to stay there with me?

I think at some point he can live off base but he has to have permission and he wont get as much money if he is not married. I don't plan to move with him unless we are married so he can love off base and get BAH.

we were talking about getting married but with the job he wants he says getting married might ruin it. he said he thinks that he could live with me but that i would have to get the place but he wasn't sure and we never looked into very far.

What kind of job does he have that marriage would ruin it?

idk he is doing security forces and said that since he has a chance to do like top secret jobs that being married could ruin it since he might tell me things he's not supposed to.

Thanks for the help but we are now talking about getting married, Idk what his deal was than but we are thinking in the next year or two (:

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