Happy, Yet Sad. Please Read And Give Me Advice.

So today, I got another letter in mail from Brandon. This is the 4th. I love getting letters and hearing from him, yet he always talks about me finding another guy. I met him through one of my friends, which is also his bestfriend. Me and my friend grew further apart after me and Brandon started dating. And apparently the friend was telling Brandon to break up with me and that I'm not a faithful person. And ever since he told him that, Brandon always would talk about "Ohh, why dont you go be with someone else?" Or "is that your other boyfriend?" And him saying that hes afraid that imma go be with someone else makes me feel like he doesnt have confidence in our relationship. He hasnt had many good ecperiences with his exs being faithful, sooo I feel like thats what is making him think all this stuff. But I want him to realize I'm not his exs, I'm a whole different person. Idk what to tell him, I just want him to trust me more. I mean I love him to death! But trust is the most important thing in a relationship, especially a military relationship! How are we gonna make it through this if he doesnt trust me???
allisonpearson allisonpearson
18-21, F
7 Responses Sep 12, 2012

Thank you Sarah! That helped a lot!

My fiance was the same way during bootcamp. He was one of 5 guys out of his unit that didnt get a dear john letter. Do not give up on him!!!!!! Keep telling him that you will be here. Just the fact that you are still their when he gets back will make a big difference in how he feels. My guy had a horrible history of being cheated on and it was tough for him to trust me but staying faithful made it easier for him. Its hard for them to believe us when they are being told everyday that we are cheating in them. One he gets back and sees that you were faithful then he wont question it any longer. Hope this helps :)
--sarah

Ohh I know. They've already been telling him stories about a guy that left for 6 months and when he came back, his gf was 3 months pregnant.

I dont move on from people I love you, I cant just give up. Imma just prove to him that imma still be here when he gets back. Thanks yall!

I wouldn't move on yet because then thats just proving his point! But you have to understand that some DI's do drill into our recruits head that they should just forget about us because while they're gone we're messing around with other guys. Unfortunately some recruits fall for that and start to believe it and break ups happen because of it. So just make things as easy as possible, don't even hangout with guys if thats what it takes. It only takes one nosy person to see you will another guy and twist the story and make you look bad. It sucks I know but if you want this relationship to work you guys are both going to have to make sacrifices. Also send him positive letters with cute quotes, maybe look up some military s/o quotes stuff like that. Don't write to him telling him about other boys. And maybe just drop the subject instead of arguing with him about it.

play the serious-but-playful-response card. Say something along the lines of "tough! you'e not going to get rid of me that easy! So dont even bother..." This way it tells him that ur there, you dont really see it as a possibility of you leaving him (hence the humour) and hopefully it'll make him chuckle a bit (prob needs to laugh anyways). Anyways, the only way for him to 'see' the truth is a long term type of deal. He'll look back and realize you've stuck through with him. it's really the only thing you can do right now.

military relationships are tough and with out trust its even tougher. <br />
how long have you guys been together for? the only way he will know he can trust you not to be like his ex is by showing him and being there for him.

Your best bet is to try to move on, because a military relationship is really tough.