Why Am I Doing This?!?!!?!?!? I Don't Understand Why You Think I'm So Strong!

oh that's right.. because i love him. ♥ i just need to vent... having another one of those i miss my boyfriend like crazy and i can't do anything to hear his voice but read his letter days. .....
When i was saying goodbye to my boyfriend.. actually we never said goodbye.. just see you later. he kept telling me it was no biggie, that 3 months wasn't bad at all and i'll see him in a jiffy. ARE YOU INSANEEEE! i cry my freaking eyes out after you not calling me at night to ask how my day was like you always did when we wouldn't see each other that day..
i miss the way you kiss me. when you kiss my forehead. hugs. when you'd try to kiss me and i'd tease you & move ^-^ when you tickle me. when you'd get upset when i wouldn't eat. your funny wink. the fact that you laugh at my attempt to hit you. being able to tell you everything without being judged. holding me when i cry. cheering me up.
i don't understand why he thinks i could handle this. he ALWAYS tells me to be strong. but i'm breaking. and i have so little help.. my friends don't like the thought of me being with him longer.. i'm going to college, they think i should break up with him because i'll meet "better" guys and i don't want have a bf holding me back. WTF!!! that is the stupidest shallowest thing ever. can't you see how happy he makes me? he is my first real boyfriend. yes, i have thought about breaking up with him once, when things weren't going so well. he told me he realizes i deserve the best. better. everything. he told me he really doesn't want to lose me. he kept saying that over and over. and i don't want to lose him either .. love you ♥. i don't know how often i'll see him. since college and his hometown/where his parents are, is 6 hours away from each other. he says he'll visit me.. i know he will. i can't wait. ♥
our relationship started with him asking me to sr. prom.^-^
i knew he was going to leave in a couple months, but i wanted to see what would happen.. he asked me out couple weeks later, couple weeks before prom. i actually never thought of it being something amazing like what i have with him..
Right now i'm only a recruit girlfriend..
hopefully in 2 months i'll be a marine girlfriend (:
this distance is killing me. more the fact that i can't talk to him..... i miss you . ♥



thank you for listening to my rambling on.. :D
foreverar foreverar
18-21
5 Responses Sep 17, 2012

hugs!!!

Hang in there. Its always hard but you learn ways to cope that help. And it's ok to cry. Try to keep busy and think positively. He wants you to keep going and to be happy. Just remember he loves you and is counting the days just like you

i think the thing that is making me miss him so much and not finding a way to cope is not keeping myself busy.. i have no job, my friends all started college so they're too busy to hangout, and i don't move away for college till next week.
i think once school gets in motion and i start job it will be easier to cope?

I would say that's exactly what will happen. You will still think about him constantly but the fact that you have other things to do will make the thoughts much more pleasant and when they aren't you can distract yourself with a project or reading for class

Girl, everything you said right there seems like yall havr some real love going on! Do what your heart tells you, yes your friends are probably just lookin out for you. But if your in love, then soo be it! They should be supportive. But if your gonna be in a distance relationship then you should surround yourself with the positive people, not the negative.

Girl, everything you said right there seems like yall havr some real love going on! Do what your heart tells you, yes your friends are probably just lookin out for you. But if your in love, then soo be it! They should be supportive. But if your gonna be in a distance relationship then you should surround yourself with the positive people, not the negative.

You have no idea how happy i am to hear that :D thank you (:

be strong! i know its super hard but in the end it is so worth it! m marine is starting a school tomorrow and i cant talk to him for a month, its not as bad as when he went through boot and not talking for months but still... im here if you wanna talk to anyone and want help =] i will help as much as I can and I know austin will sure give advice if you want some. <3 Sophie

thanks (:
where is he starting school?