I Always Swore I Wouldn't...

So I guess my headline pretty much says it all. I grew up in Southern California and have known quite a few military guys/girls in my time. I have a lot of friends who are active, a lot that have recently gotten out, a lot that are married or have been married, etc. I always swore to myself that I would never date an active duty Marine (or any other branch, for that matter) because I didn't want to deal with the deployments. It was a pretty close-minded thing to say, but that's how I felt about it at the time. On NYE of 2012, I met my now ex-boyfriend who happened to be a former Marine. We had been talking online for quite awhile, but never met due to the fact that he had a girlfriend. YES, I SAID IT. It's a horrible thing and it goes against my character, but we all do things out of love or what we think of as love. Okay, so that was the first red flag. We finally met and decided to move in together almost immediately down in San Diego. People might judge me, people might think that was a pretty bold decision, but I didn't want to live life with any regrets. After a couple of months, I started to get the feeling that he was cheating on me or something was going on behind my back. I think it would've been different if he had given me a reason to believe that he wasn't, but there was never any of that. He was verbally abusive, calling me every name in the book and telling me I was a disgrace to society, he drank all the time to the point of blacking out, and he never stopped texting chicks (by the way, I graduated college at 22, own my own business, and have never done a single drug in my life - yeah, a disgrace all right). I decided that I couldn't handle it anymore, so I moved out one day after he came home from school. The day that I moved out, I messsaged his ex (the one he left for me) and told her how sorry I was to have done what I'd done and that if I could take it all back, I would. Her and I have since become absolute BEST FRIENDS. She is my absolute rock and probably the only reason that I was able to build up the courage and strength to finally walk away. Back to the story. So I went back a few more times even after I walked in and found a chick in his bed, found out he'd cheated on me with his ex, and a few more drunken nights of horrific name calling. We just recently ended everything for good, but that's when I met my new boyfriend Mike who is also a Marine and has been for almost 7 years. I met him about a week after Logan and I broke up, and it was almost too good to be true. He's the kindest and honest person I've probably ever met. It's crazy how people say "All Marines are the same," yet I completely destroyed that theory with my own experiences. Anway, I told myself that I'd never get into a serious relationship with somebody who leaves all the time, and even more than that, somebody who plans on doing 20 years. But I caved for this guy. I still have my feelings of being scared or worry, but I think that this could actually be something very special. We have around 8 more months until he leaves on his MEU, so I plan on spending as much time as I can with him while he's around. I worry that as time goes on and the deployment date gets closer, I'm gonna be a trainwreck, but I'm praying that maybe I'll find some sort of stability on this site.
charlanicole9712 charlanicole9712
22-25, F
3 Responses Sep 19, 2012

Thank you so much! I haven't really been on here lately, so I just saw these comments! He's away and training right now which I'm kind of starting to enjoy. The time apart definitely makes our relationship get stronger.

Hey welcome to our family! I agree with you the stereotype is bogus. I had a friend who dated a Marine and he was kinda like Logan, but he always knew what to say to get her back, so he could tear her down again and also the reason for the stereotype of a man ***** marine. Made me ill espeically when I thought of Jim and how different he was from that, sweet caring and compasionate and the most loyal man I'd ever met. While some of the stuff that goes along with dating a Marine sucks you'll find that the pride for him will grow with each day and that the distance won't matter because the time you do have together is better then anything you could have ever imagined

I am sorry for your bad experience! I'm so glad you found a good Marine though :) good luck leading up to this deployment, I hope you have some really amazing times!!