I Lost It Tonight

So tonight i was out with my girls to have a good night but I couldn't stop thinking about Ryan. We have a little over a month left of him being gone and tonight it just got to me I lost it. While we were at the bar I was able to get my mind off him slightly to dance and all but everywhere I turned I would see a girl hanging all over her guy and I got all irritated cuz I'd give anything for that right now. After a while I just couldn't handle it and on top of not hearing from him broke down ran to the bathroom and cried, thankfully my best friend came to my rescue to comfort me cause she know exactly how I feel right now but all I know is I'm so over him being gone I just want him home
Ldylvlylcks2002 Ldylvlylcks2002
31-35, F
1 Response Dec 2, 2012

aww hunny, it's hard i KNOW, and to be honest sometimes we just need to cry it out!
Lucky you have a good friend, so many don't understand or refuse to
Keep strong he will be home soon and in your arms

It was just too hard last night and I needed to cry. I was having a good time I just miss him so much and of course he would text me as I'm going home but he only did the once and didn't try to get ahold of me that night

it happens i have had nights where all i can do is cry

Yeah I hate to cry where anyone can see me crying tho. So when I started to I jumped off my seat and ran to the bathroom and just lost it thankfully my best friend ran after me.its like I want to tell Ryan how much I miss him and that I have broken down a little lately but I don't want him to get all worried or for it to affect him with his work ya know

yeah i'm the same i will run for the nearest exit so no one see's me, i know it's hard you want to confide in them but don't want to stress them with worry

I want to tell him ya know but I'm afraid to

yep i often have that dilemma i always end up saying nothing, just i'm glad your okay sort of thing, i'm gutless i just can't bring myself to do it! he always says to me when he is out there on the field he has to keep his mind on the job, so he always says he thinks of me as soon as he gets back...so i am always too scared to mess up his mind

I know in Japan Ryan isn't doing all the dangerous stuff you man is doing but I don't want to mess with his head either ya know

i think regardless where it is always a worry they are doing something so sensitive which puts their lives in danger regardless...only thing i could suggest is saying you lost it a little but emphasize that you are all fine now and had your friend to get you through

That would probably work

worth a go

Exactly I just hope I hear from him soon

how often do you normally hear from him?

Usually at least twice a week but like a week and a half ago we talked daily so it varies with him but I do text him everyday telling him I love him

yeah i suppose it depends on the circumstances i just had a weird chat with mine

Yeah I've had a bad conversation with Ryan before but it was after a busy week at work and I got mad over the stupidest thing

god it makes you paranoid though doesn't it

Yes it does

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