ok, so I got to see Jay tuesday night, he apendt the night and most of yesterday with me, and let me tell you, i dont know why i doubted anything! it was the most A.M.A.Z.I.N.G. time. he ended up brigning a guy he met in Cali, and his best friend, (i had set my best friend from college up with his best friend in November when he needed a date to the Marine Corps Ball and they've been together since- he deploys in April) and so she came down from NH for the night. it was so bittersweet.
we spent the night just looking at each other, and memorizing each other all over again. this is the man that knows my body better than i do, and i just spent so much time taking it all in again, every freckle on his face, every scar on his body, tracing his tattoos with my fingers, i'm speechless, the time we spent together was so short, but i sent him off with a letter so he already has one from me.
We got to party a little, and sit around a fire making s'mores, we got to lay around and be lazy with our best friends, and we got to takl about what the future holds for us. we decided that marraige will come in 3 years, i want to finsih my masters and he has big plans as usal, so overall it was an amazing time, it was however less than 24 hours, and after he left i realized i really wont see him for like a year....
naturally my girl took me to the mall for some shop therapy, but she eventually had to leave to go back to NH, damn her and responsiblities! so i sat, and started writing more to him, i apologized for the tears i shed, they are like a virus with no vaccine, i try to hold them back but find it impossible. i replay everything over and over again, and i cant wait to have him back.
so thank you to those of you who promised it would be ok, who told me to jump into his arms regardless, you were more than right, i jumped into his arms and didn't leave them until he left the next day.