Felt Like Everything Was Wrong

I got to briefly talk to Ryan on Christmas Eve which made my day but from then til today we hasn't spoken. I'd try to say hi to him but nothing and it hurt that he kinda brushed me off on Xmas eve and the wouldn't talk to me. I seriously thought I messed everything up with him. I've invested so much of my heart into this man and I love him so much. Frankly I honestly couldn't really care that he's a marine(don't get me wrong it's amazing that he is but it's not important to me) and in all honesty I feel in love with him before I actually new he was a marine reserve. I just hate being seperated from the man I'm in love with. And the sad thing Is that when things are all weird between us it shows on my face and my dad(who doesn't know about him) always asks what's wrong and I just say nothing but he knows something is. I just wish there was a way to make everything perfect but perfect doesn't exist so idk now.
Ldylvlylcks2002 Ldylvlylcks2002
31-35, F
2 Responses Jan 6, 2013

It could be the distance is getting to him too. Unless you did mess up then idk. But just relax and send him an email saying you love him

I think it is the distance plus he's been so busy and hopefully coming home soon. But we did get to talk alittle bit today which was nice

Sometimes I think they feel guilty that they can't be here. So they push away to make it easier. Which it doesn't for us! But they don't realize that.

I seriously don't think they do but it just sucks cause we had a long talk about just sending a quick good morning or hello and he said he would and with in a few days that ended

What do you mean? how did you mess up?

Every time I open up to him he gets distant so it feels like I've said something wrong that messes everything up

Maybe it is not wrong but too fast? or something he did not like?

I have those moments too, when I think I messed up, its a bad feeling.

It just sucks and alot of what I told him he's kinda known the whole time cause I'm a single mom so I'm looking to ultimately get married

Well, I cant blame you. Single mom or not that is what every girl wants. I would not be with a guy I call boyfriend if that wouldn't be a possibility, you know?

Yeah but it's like when I open up an tell him I want to give my kids what I can't and he knows and says it then basically disappears

ok, you opened up, now he knows and he agrees (I think I read it somewhere) now give him time, if you can. Let him be the one to come up with it, maybe he feels you are pushing him. If years pass by and nothing, then put your foot down, but if it is a resent thing, he may need time. Getting married is a big deal, important, a commitment. It has to be because you both feel is the right time. The more you push, the more he will close to the idea.

Oh trust me I'm not pushing marriage at all he knows I want to see how things go between us when he gets home. He just know that I want My kids to get what they deserve which is a dad that actually acts like a father. But I still want to take it day by day

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