Just Realized..

So I was reading another story on a different forum that made me realize something. My man will be deployed for his 2nd tour in afghan very soon and this is the first time I will be going through this with him. The realization was that, god forbid something happen to him, if something did and he were unable to write to me to tell me himself, i would have no way of knowing.. We arent married, we fell quickly and madly in love not too long ago, and the only person i keep in contact with on his side is his mom who he has no idea where she is. That scares me.. the thought that I could receive letters from him, and then they would just stop.. maybe for a little while, maybe forever.. :(
Somegirlinlove Somegirlinlove
18-21, F
5 Responses Jan 9, 2013

My fiance is in Afghanistan and I don't know if I will hear anything if something happen to him. He's parents are gone so I have none to talk to to find out. Just pray that nothing will happen to him. Over a month since I heard from him and right know am so worried.

Try to get in contact with one of his buddies or their wives.. They will understand. And then as soon as you can talk to him, ask him who is on the list to receive notices like that. Just explain your worries to him. I think all of our men have heard the same thing from all of us, so it won't be a surprise.

When my boyfriend got deployed him and his best friend gave eachother their girlfriends numbers just incase something were to happen to one of them then we would know. I also am not very close to his mom but we get a long for the most part but having that trust in one of his buddies that is experiencing it with him really helped. If you have any other questions about deployment feel free to ask!

Thank you :) I added one of his buddies on fb, I hope that's not weird.. My bf offered to give me of their wives' number, and I turned it down. But now I'm thinking I should've taken it. Even if it is awkward. "hey, I'm the girl you've never heard of dating one of your husband's friends you may or may not have met.."

Haha yeah i got offered a girlfriends number and i'm like hmm no thanks. But yes at least that way you have contact with one of his buddies and it will make you feel a little better about it and also if his buddy is online and he's not you can have him play messenger boy...always fun! (=

i havent really read the other comments, but if he has close buddies that are deploying with him befriend them as well, add them on facebook or whatever so if god forbid something happened they could tell you. you could also ask him to add you to the FRO (family readiness officer) email list he just goes into MOL (i think thats the one) and adds you as his contact..otherwise those emails will go to his mom or whoever he has listed and you could request that those get shared with you as well...make sure you at least know what to be attentive of if for some reason you go a really long time without hearing from him like know what company he's deployed with and stuff. It is scary, but at the same time with most deployments (depending on his MOS) you'll get a decent amount of communication to know when he may disappear for a while or what have you.

That's really reassuring, thank you. When I get to talk to him I will ask him who is on the list. And at this point idc if it's weird that I add his friends I've never met, at least they should know who I am.

sisters and girlfriends of my guy's fellow marines add him all the time just to have that connection if they ever need it. and people i have never met add me as well kinda like on here they just want to be able to talk to someone who understands even if our guys dont even work together anymore.

Like deasha said, build a relationship with his fellow Marines. God forbid anything close to your worst nightmare would happen but, perhaps you could mention it to your boyfriend to ask a couple of his friends to give you a heads up if he's injured and can't contact you himself. That way you're not pulling your hair out imagining the worst while waiting in the dark.

im wondering if i should tell him about my fear and see what he says. i dont want him to be worried about me, but maybe he has thought of this too? (cute pic by the way. lol)

I believe you should talk about it with him. Don't sound like you're throwing your fears at him (making him worry about you) but be objective about it. Just say like...."Hey babe (or whatever nickname you got for him), I was wondering....the only other person that I have contact with that's connected to you is your mother (then explain how that's not helpful). Ask him who his bf is in his deployment group, and ask if you could friend him on fb or whichever social thing you want. Explain why obviously....tell him it would help you relax a lot easier when you have a few ways of getting information on your his whereabouts/condition. Possibly try to get a couple of his friends info. Don't worry about it being weird, they'll unerstand, especially if they really are his friends.

I have the same exact fear. I actually just found this forum today. My boyfriend and I have been in a relationship for almost a year now. He is in Lackland airforce base and i am in Orlando, Fl. I talk to his mom but she doesnt like me much, and god forbid anything happen's to him I would jabe no way of knowing. It is scary but i just try and build relationships with his entire family, and even shipmates. Even if its calling them once a month. I might be wierd but i really love, and care about him, and i want to be there if anything was to happen.

im sorry, i cant imagine if his mom didnt like me. but i do wish there was a way to keep in touch with the other guys in his battalion without being weird. ive never actually met any of them. my man offered to give me one of their wives' number, but i turned it down because i thought it was weird and ive never met her. but now im thinking i shouldve taken it. :/