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I Want To Fix This, But I'm Not Sure If I Can

So my boyfriend comes back from bootcamp in a week or so (FINALLY!!) but while he was gone he said to become close with his family, his sister and I use to be very close! So I felt it would be pretty easy, it's not. Rumors have spread about my friends & I calling us *****, and party girls. All because we're graduating a year early and we went to about 5 parties our whole high school life. The **** rumors and stuff started when we posted a picture in our sport bra and soffee shorts, just us four friends, covered in blacklight paint.. (a blacklight party between CLOSE friends max was 15 people there) we only invited close guy/ girl friend. Anyway, after these rumors I heard my boyfriends sister was starting them too, so i texted her and asked her about it and she acted so rude. I have a short temper, but i didn't say anything mean. She was like i dont talk to you because you party. (she thinks shes perfect) so i called her judgemental! How are you going to not talk to me because of rumors you hear? I don't smoke anything! & the taste of alcohol is so nasty, so if i do go to parties im sober. She was just acting rude, i told her i tried to be her friend and she wasn't having it. I did! i asked her to tudor me, and she said ask somebody else. She told her mom all i did was party!! I DON'T! her mom told my mom so obviously, her mom doesn't like me. Now, my boyfriends graduation is soon and my only way down is her or her mom. Which, is awkward because neither of them like me. & I'd have to spend the night with the sister in a hotel room... i cant drive down my car is in the shop, and my bestfriend was going to go but she got a ticket so now shes not allowed. In every letter, my boyfriend tells me to make good with his family.... i just wrote him a letter about all of this. I don't want to lose him, but i don't know if this would work if his family doesn't like me, and he'll never be home. please help me... im stuck
LovinLu12 LovinLu12 18-21, F 3 Responses Jan 19, 2013

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I would talk directly with the mother. Obviously in a calm, nonaccusatory manner. If you can't get a face to face convo started, email her or phone her. Explain your side of the story. You're graduating a year early, that's got to give you some brownie points with her. Forget the sister for now. Don't bad mouth her either. Just forget her. Explain to her about the party, they were just close friends, sports bra and not a wild house party with drugs/whatnot. Tell her how much you want to be close with her because he means so much to you...stuff like that (as long as its true). Skip the sister, go straight to the mother.

For the longest time my fiances brother hated me, he made my life miserable, and he never had a reason to. I was very nervous about going to my marines grad because he would be there and I wasn't super close with his family, I am a little shy and is parents aren't the most outgoing people. But anyways while down for the graduation things changed, he was finally able to truly get to know me and not just things he may have heard or assumed. He was rude to me in the beginning, the car ride there was strange at times but it got better quickly. I just acted extra nice to him the whole time until he couldn't dislike me, and then we got to the joking stage after a day or so. I have got close with the entire family on the graduation trip. So I wish the best of luck to you. If you go with them don't act vulnerable, act like the sisters attitude doesn't even bother you. And if she is still rude your marine will see that and as long as you are kind to her it won't be your fault.

wow...you are in a difficult position. While the men are far I wouldn't recommend any crazy behavior. I would wait for him to be home to be all the wild that I want, that way no one can tell him anything. I mean you went to the party, took the pic and...posted it, not good. I wouldn't want my Marine's mom to see a pic of me on the web on my bra unless my man is besides me and either way I wouldn't want her to see it.

If he is insisting you to be friends with the family is because its a big deal for him, so if you love him, you will have to work that out. I hope you didn't say anything bad about his family in that letter, that will only make things worse.

Nobody should judge you but sometimes things are misunderstood.

I didnt say anything bad about his family, i do understand what you mean about that whole bra thing, Although i've been too football games in the same outfit so i don't understand the big deal... I just don't know what to do, because she wouldn't even try to resolve things when i tried to, i'm in such a bad spot! She said she doesn't want me to go to the graduation at all...

Its not a big deal but nobody knows how strong your relationship is but you two. Try to see it her way: would you like to see your brother's gf on a pic on her bra? Its just the way human act. Give her some time, don't stop being you just think on what things you could do now that will hurt him once he gets home (because there is no doubt she will throw some poison).