Mom Strikes Again

Okay so I just wrote a story recently about my mom and her being completely different and trying to hook me up with some one else. Well after that I thought she would be done for the week well I was wrong. On the way to the airport came up and she started bashing us. The convo caught me off guard and rattled my cage but here are the highlights of it.

Did he send you flowers last year?
- No but he was on a boat last year.
Dont they know how to send flowers from there?
-yes but he is not that kind of guy that always thinks about that. I talked to his mom and....
Of course his mom stood up for him you are a good influence on her bad boy. She does not have your best interest in mind.
- no response to stunned
Has he even sent you anything for Christmas, Birthday, Anniversary?
-he tried to send me something for last Christmas but the mail sent it back, and waiting for a box now.
---thought we have only been together for one of my birthdays and he was on a boat then. And one anniversary... So not much to send for yet.
I don't even think he has ever bought you a gift.
-Again no response to stunned
Do you know he is being faithful?
-yeah I know he is
Do you know he is, or are you just hoping he is?
-I am pretty sure he is....(again stunned not a firm answer I know)

After that kind of went quite cause realized i was in a no win...of course got criticized for that.

He dosnt value you...all you are going to do is get hurt by this relationship if you do it long term...
--Did not say this again gone silent. but thought we have been together official for over a year...and even longer then that unofficial...a lot longer then you have been with your new husband.

Then later mom says you know Mark knows you dont like him (her new husband). Yeah so. Well you need to be nicer.

(Wanted to be like okay I must back up your relationship I do not agree with but you can bash mine all to all. Even though we have been together and known each other longer then you know your new husband.)
22-25, F
2 Responses Jan 21, 2013

I actually agree with lexie. Get it all out there. Tell her how you feel! If you live with them that may be a lot more complicated, but this is clearly not healthy for either of you. And obviously try and do it in a polite way, don't blame her for everything or she will just feel attacked. Maybe be like hey mom you remember when we did this together...I miss that. Maybe she will realize a change and be more open. That is just ridiculous though. Good luck!

I remember your last story, but i can't remember if there was a backstory like do you live with your mom and said husband? Anyways, i understand where your comin from on the absurd questions and mom hates nick, and actually thats mutual so i refuse to hear it from either of them. but that doesn't stop my mother from backhanded comments and asking me things like "have you found someone new yet?" "do you wanna go out and find your future husband?" etc. drives me up the wall...but my mom and i have a relationship where we will have a fight and then she suddenly is my best friend and acts like nothing happened so i let it go because she's nuts...unless its one of those days where deployment is seriously getting me down and i just freak. I get the does he buy you anything crap too. soooo stupid. i wasnt aware that relationships were based on material things anyways??? but yeah, if i were you i'd either ignore it and make it very clear to her that you don't wanna hear her speak of your relationship again. or go ahead and put it all on the table with your feelings towards her relationship and how she makes you feel by bashing yours. Though i'm not sure i'm the best for advice on that, since clearly i don't always handle my mother's comments appropriately ;). in general, i feel like honesty and dishing things out is the best way to go in any relationship. good luck and i hope things get better with your mom. don't let her get you down when it comes to your relationship though. you know what you have is special and you know he loves you and he's worth waitin for.

yeah there was not much of a back story. I either tell to much of a story or not enough lol. No I do not live with them. They got engaged my senior year of college and married right after my graduation. I kind of got the feeling that I was not going to fair well if I had to live them. So I found an internship with a live in places before they moved in with each other. So I moved right from college to this internship in WI...and thankfully found a better job. So I no longer have to work like four jobs to eeekk I just work one job to eeek by lol. Thanks for all the advice I think the reason this is getting to me so bad is its such a big change...on top of a lot of other changes (little ones stupid ones to others but all adding up on me). I guess I just need time to adjust to it all.

Change can definitely be tough especially when everything starts adding up. Yay on finding a better job though! Baby steps will get you through this difficult time of adjusting :)

Yeah it is...especially when I feel like no one gets it lol..But yeah thanks for listening to my rants...Has helped a lot just to have some one listen. And yeah totally excited about the new job..Not the job but pretty darn close and one step closer so really pumped...Thanks again for listening and advice.

Anytime girl! :)

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