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I Am the Girlfriend, Fiance, Or Wife of a United States Marine

Wedding Plaining Arond Deployments.

By: mollylollie
Written on February 11th, 2013
I have been running around a lot latly and im starting to get stressed. My boyfriend and i recently got engaged, he proposed over skype because he is currently stationed in Japan. We have started palining the wedding but its hard because we are having to plain around his deployments and when he can get leave. I feel like im going to lose, I have been doing this all on my own. I have no family to help me out and I can only email his pictures or ask him things on skype. He wishes he would help but theres nothing he can do because hes in japan. Hes also leaveing for Korea soon so the wedding is going to be all on me. We plain on having it in savannah witch means every thing has to be done there like cake, flowers, what church we going to and all that stuff. It is the best thing I have ever had to plain but its hard with out him here to help me and it frustrating because we cant set a date until we find out if he is going to be able to get leave. Any body have any ideas on what to or how to plain this around his deployment?
By: mollylollie
Age: 18-21 , Female
72 people have read this story

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2 responses
  • chiquitito
    chiquitito

    I can completely understand your frusteration. My fiance came home for less then 2 weeks between trainings and I can tell you being christmas and new years we didn't get a single moment that wasn't completely filled with everything. We did our registy found a hall and a church all within a matter of 2 days. It was insane.

    Now I'm exhausted trying to make this all work. He can't even try and take leave till he finishes this training, which by the way some idiot didn't budget right and it's on hold, so we just picked a date and decided if we had to change it we would evite everyone. That's how we did our save the dates as well to save money and because it's coming up so quick. I have been told that's the best way to do it is to just pick a date cross your fingers and tell your family to bear with you.

    I'll tell you something most men don't want to be involved and just want to be told where to show up and what to wear. Unfortunatly your fiance and mine want to be involved and have little to no why to do it. I have the slight advantage of having mine in the states but calls from any base drop like crazy so half the time we can't get through a conversation before his phone goes out on me.

    Everyone keeps telling me (probably you too) that this should be fun and I keep wondering when the fun starts, the only fun I've had this whole time is going dress shopping with his mom and mine. Everything has been high stress and nothing but frusterating. Sounds like you can feel me on that one.

    I'm not sure what kind of church you are looking into but see if you can contact a Navy Chaplin (sp?) about doing the ceremony. Not only will they have delt with the military they are the military and get that a lot of this is out of your control and will work with you to make everything work. We are getting married at a Cavalry Chapel and just so happened one of the assistant pastors is a guy studying to be a chaplin and it's been the best resource I've had. I only met the guy a month ago and he has done everything he can to help make the ceremony part as easy as he can. If its something you both would be ok with and depending on the time of year you could do the ceremony outside of your venue.

    Also look into VFW halls! It will not only save you money but it will support retired military men which to Jim and I was a really big deal. We would rather see our money go to families like ours will be then to random people just looking to make a dime. They will also be really great about date changes and such since they've been there.

    So I guess what my book of an answer is trying to say is that you're not alone! But there are a few resources to help you out. Message me if you want to, I haven't written a lot of posts lately but I check in almost daily. You're welcome to bounce idea's off me or just vent about how stupid the whole situation is, especially considereing some women would kill for a man to care about the wedding and we have ones that do but they aren't able to help like they want to.
    Ashley

    Feb 11
    1 like
  • HoneybeeUSMgf
    HoneybeeUSMgf

    Don't get stress (easier to say than do) and men are not a big help anyways. My brother is getting married in June and my sister in law is always complaining that he is not giving her any feedback haha he is up to the point that he just want to show up there. Men are not like us, like that is not a dream for them so, here or there, not a big help.

    If you want to reduce stress for a minimum plan a small wedding, nothing big or you'll die trying. For him to feel engage give him the smallest/silliest task and if he comes around with it maybe give him another, but don't expect him to do much (my brother hasn't even been able to write on the wedding web page his version of how they met).

    I don't know where you are but the wedding should be where you are or super near, you don't need long travels to go and see the place. Also, there is not much you can do without the date but have budgets (you could begin searching for your dress, maid of honors, his suit)...check on the documents you will be needing and make sure you have them, some of them could take a while to get.

    I planned my own wedding, 150 people, let me know if you need more help :)

    Feb 11
    1 like