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Im Trying...

 I really am trying to just feel better and be more positive. I have wrote david every day even though i know he wont get them because i havent go this address yet. it makes me feel better to almost get out how much i miss him and just tell him all the dorky stories i would on the phone or text. but i dont know if its just because he's not here to depend on anymore, but everything has just go SO overwhelming. i go to school Monday wed fri i get up at 6 am then school 745-230 and then go to work at around 4 ( i should have already left but i have no motivation to go ) till around 1230 and get home at like one. and then tues thurs are my days off spending long hours on homework and trying to catch up on sleep. and i work normally all weekend. sat  & sunday. and david always used to tell me " i dont know how you do it, you are the most amazing and strongest woman i have ever met" but honestly im hitting my breaking point. im behind in school, and just feel exhausted 24/7 and just want to sleep. its just been so hard for the past few days and none of my friends have been there for me, i'll call and NO one answers. no one understands how hard this is for me, or even near what im going through. my friend andrew ( who let david live with him for 2 months when his parents kicked him out because they couldnt "afford" him)  looked at me today and said "you look horrible. You look like you havent slept for days" well thanks that makes me feel great. and yes i havent really sleeped thanks andrew. and then today some random person looks at me and tells me " can you do me a favor?" and im like umm maybe? and he was like "smile." and that just absolutely killed me. I just wish i could take a few weeks off and just relax and do things i love but instead, with bills i cant stop working, and school is a must.. so theres no way out yet.. not till december comes around when im leaving to go to graduation and i dont care what my work thinks. 

 

thanks for letting me vent if you read all of this.. i really needed that.

off to work =[[

fadedtigerlily fadedtigerlily 18-21, F 2 Responses Sep 24, 2008

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Friends tend to not understand being a military girlfriend is a certian kind of experience. So don't get to bummed out that your friends can't fathom what your going through, thats what groups like this were created for. I try to not hold it against them they just simply don't know what it's like. However when you are feeling far over stretched take a deep breathe write a letter to anyone (yourself, marine, parents) and let it all out, don't mail keep it in a journal or something. Helps me cope most of the time.

aw cheer up girl things will get better. just take time to breath! just take things day by day & it will be easier! :)<br />
message me anytime!!!<br />
<br />
-Jessie