How to Apologize

I know you don't know me very well, I have posted a few times, but I need some advice.  I have been with my boyfriend who is stationed overseas for almost a year. He has been gone for more than 7 months now and I'm really starting to feel it. Over the past few weeks we have kept missing each other online and I have been getting frustrated.  This morning I stepped away from the computer for 5 minute and of course he came back during that time, but then had to go. Unfortunately I said some things I shouldn't have out of anger and when he got back he sent me a message saying he's going to pretend like I didn't blow up at him for not being there when I started talking to him and it sounds like I may be having a rough morning, and he hopes my day goes well and he's going to bed.  I know I messed up, I was angry and took it out on him.  I'm trying to write him an apology, but everything I say sounds manipulative or like I'm trying to make excuses or like I'm trying to brush it off.  I don't know what to say. Thanks for your help!

tinkerbell426 tinkerbell426
22-25, F
5 Responses Mar 2, 2009

Thank you all for your support, I wrote something very simple like everyone suggested, just that I was sorry about what I said and I had no right to get mad at him. In response he wrote me back saying that he's not mad and he's just going to pretend I didn't say anything, he figures I was having a rough morning which happens and sometimes things are said that just need to go unnoticed and this was one of those things and he told me not to worry. So now I just need to try to forget it cause knowing me its going to eat at me until I do something really stupid, but like I said...thank you all for your kind words!

matt and i went through the same thing when he got his first deployment over seas! i was new to this whole thing and i was so used to being able to talk to poeple anytime i wanted that it was really hard on me... i always wanted to talk to him about things and i never could... one day i was so stressed out that i took it all out on him and we got in a big fight! about 20 min after i was off the phone with him i realized he was right! i needed to calm down bc i was over analyzing things! so i made my apology short, to the point, and sweet! "im so sorry for goin off like that, this deployment is really starting to get to me, i miss you so much, but i love you and i support you! we will talk when you get a chance! love you!" and he made a quick reply back saying he loved me too and he promised he would call or message as sonn as he could... i felt so much better after that... and things have been much better between him and me too!<br />
im sure things will be just fine for you two too! but if you ever just want to tell him something and you cant tell him right away... im sure us girls would be glad to hear about it too!

Just apologize for blowing up and that you are frustrated alittle because of the missed emails and such. And that you didnt mean to take it out on him. Remind him that you love and support him and miss him. It will all blow over. Everyone is allowed to have a bad day. Best of luck!

yeah i agree with kali... he has to understant that the deployment is not the easiest thing for you to deal with at times. Just explian to him why youve been feeling so down [b.c you guys keep missing eachother when coming inline and stuff] and hopefully he will understand...also let him know that you love him && miss him.. Im sure it will help make him understand.<br />
Let us know what happens love!

Yeah, he's in Japan, I don't know what it is, the closer he gets to coming home the more upset I get, I know he's really homesick too which makes me feel even worse for being cranky. He thanks me all the time for being patient and waiting for him and he has been very understanding about my emotions, so I think you're right a big apology would be silly, but he had every right to call me out. Thanks for your advice!