Second Deployment... and I Thought the First Was Hard

okay so i have NEVER done anything like this, but i am just so sick of the wives in my area. I have yet to meet like any that are friendly. anyways my husband of almost two years is deploying to afghanistan..... ON OUR TWO YEAR WEDDING ANNIVERSARY! he deployed to iraq last feb and got back middle of september, and is deploying once AGAIN!

I thought last deployment was hard but this time, im stayin in california(not my home, home in minnesota! love it there) to keep going to college bc i love school. but i have no friends, no family no nothing here really. and he is going to afghanistan! i dont know crap about whats its like over there. has anyone had there man deploy there yet?

we just found out about this deployment a week ago, wonderful short notice the marine corps has, and i am VERY upset by it all. i really dont have anyone to relate to. all my friends from home dont have a clue what im going through, and like i said i dont know many ppl here and the ones i do know are either a) a ***** or b) their husbands arent deploying or c) they are mothers or soon to be mothers and so they are leading a different path than me and i find it hard to relate. not that i have anything against havinf babies or anything, its just i dont have any so its hard to keep a friendship going bc they all are friends with other moms

samantha06 samantha06
18-21, F
25 Responses Mar 19, 2009

thank you ohlalala :) what is your real name? well my husband is about to leave to afghanistan in a few weeks too. its his second deployment. i have been with him from the start :) did the whole boot camp thing, that sucked!! and then as soon as i could i moved here to, in my opinion not so great cali, to be with him. <br />
and for real, i plan on just slamming myself with school, activities and work while he is gone. its going to be alot different than the first deployment bc he has phones there. and i guess this time they are saying there will be no phones! i pray thats not true. but anyways he is motor t mechanic. fixes the trucks that get a ruined and stuff... its the worst, of course, but its still scary just having him there, ya know? so yeah just keep busy! <br />
im majorying in environmental science and management with a minor in international politics! i LOVE IT! school is so much fun for me and i just cant wait to have a career! prob wont be for like 5 or 6 years but hey :)<br />
so where are you at now? do you plan to get married once your lover returns??? im sorry he has to go. i hate that any of them have to, but you know, its their job. will this be your first time apart from him??

yeah i spoke with larissa and i think she is like on her way back tomorrow! seriously everyone, im not saying i only want non mother friends or something. i love my mommy friends. but all of them are preparing to get out of the military so that sucks. i just wanted to know how many non mothers there are so i could see who else would benifit from like a wives group, where the activities are for the adults as well.<br />
thanks again though :) <br />
anyone else know of other women near pendelton?

yeah i used to live and work here on pendelton. i dont anymore but i know it still pretty well. i wanted to start working with the key volunteer group, but its like undergoing a transition thing or whatever so they are changing how it opperates and everything. in case you have no ide what im talking about, the key volunteer group is typically wives that help other wives while their unit is deployed. ive contacted the military one source as well and stll have yet to find a function intended for just wives. well not even that really, bc i love kids, but all the functions are like play dates for the kids, and i cant really go to those without a baby.... haha i did goto one with a friend once and yeah, def need my own child for those things! haha<br />
im on spring break right now but when i go back to school i was hoping to work with the student government bc i know there HAS t be more wices that are going to school. <br />
so thanks for your support and encouragement!

yeah i go by samantha :)

ok good to know. thank you!<br />
<br />
i think this has gone way over board so im going to try to clear things up<br />
<br />
1 i wasnt trying to complain, i was simply trying to find other women i could relate with and share similarities with<br />
2 i have NOTHING against ppl with children. i was trying to see how many, near me, dont have kids bc i didnt know if trying to have a just women support group would be worth my time n effort. i mean if everyone has kids, than obviously it wouldnt be worth it

no i didnt. i must of read amandas messsage wrong. i thought she signed it by saying she was jessie, bc she was informing me that there are not many wives on here, but that you are one of the few. so thank you amanda

do you realize im jessie <br />
& mcitybabe?

i said it was rude to judge. which it is mayb real, but its rude and uncalled for. i also said we all should be encouaging of others, have empathey for hard times, discuss good and bad things. i was saying it was wrong to judge how others 'deal' with problems and that really we should only offer advice.<br />
<br />
and thank you jessie! :)<br />
<br />
when i said competition i ment that by insulting how i 'deal' with a deployment (mcitybabe08) is rude. not that telling her she is strong is wrong

LOL<br />
<br />
:) whoops! thanks amanda

i said i cant relate with them!!! i know that missing the birth of a child is a much bigger issue than an anniversary! thats why i said i can NOT relate! i do not have children. i clearly wrote, over and again, that i love all my friends children, but that NONE of them have husbands deploying. <br />
just bc my friends have children means i can not be friends with them. its that they have choosen to put aside all else in life for their babies. and thats FINE. i would do the same too! but since i dont have kids, im simply going down a different path of life. thats all. they still are my friends. I was just trying to find other women that were experincing similar problems as me. not that mine are the worst, bc i NEVER said they were

a baby? why bc im upset that my husband is leaving again? bc all we will have is letters to keep in touch with for nine months? a baby? really thats wat i mean. why be so discriminating towards other women on here? wouldnt you say that by telling me the story was baby like is a little over the top? if you dont like it, then leave it be! its that simple. i dont know what makes you think its ok to pass judgement onto others, esp people you dont even know, based off of a story? all i was looking for is people i can relate with, to make these next challenging months go by easier for me, which also will make them easier for my husband.

& again so what if there husband isnt deploying the same time as yours! you can still hang out with them!

i think its wrong of you to say that you dont hang out with some people because they have kids or are pregnant. you could learn a lot from those ladies! im mean honestly on a scale of whats important in life your husband missing you anniversery is not that big of a deal....<br />
mine will be missing when he deploys:<br />
The BIRTH of his FIRST child<br />
Thanksgiving<br />
our anninversary<br />
Christmas<br />
His 21st bday....<br />
the list goes on<br />
but all the holidays come every YEAR! seeing your first child born only happens once

what competition... i missed where anyone was like im better than you! i think your being a baby about the situation because that what my opinion is of your story

there isnt anything wrong with that at all! i incourage that

i dont think this should be a competition girls. we should be encouraging and helping eachother, giving real meaningful advice. if you are going to be judgemental towards other women on this with how they 'deal' with tough times than i think thats just childish and frankly rude. <br />
i congrat all the women that have relationships with military men bc it is a challenge.

aw thanks kali!<br />
<br />
i forget some people "deal" with things differently even tho they knew that this was the life the chose too!

yeah i was in the same boat as you! but then i sucked it up & made friends <br />
<br />
oh yeah then i got pregnant so i guess we arent so much a like

right i totally agree. just bc i have this 'plan' in my head, doeant mean things will happen that way. Once i do have children, they will be my everything so i know why first time mothers dont do much other than obsess, in a good way :), over there little bunndle of joy. <br />
its just sorta like.... man. isnt there anyone on the same boat as me???

right! thats what i cant wait for! just gota keep busy with whatever until he returns home to me. and yeah whatever the big green weenie is... haha! they sure did give me it :)<br />
and thanks. i get crap from a couple wives i know bc im not having kids. its like, i dont tell others what they should do with their life, i just want the same respect back from them. if im not ready to be a mom yet than that decision is between me and my husband... not me, my husband, my husbands co workers wives and friends of them and everyone else that enjoys passing judgement on ppl. <br />
i say everyone should just follow their own path in life. embrase pthers that do things differently, learn from it and keep on going.

i guess i was more shocked at how short notice we got. last deployment i knew like over 4 months in advance. and this group he is going with was told they werent going bc it wasnt their roatation. and then like i think wednesday of last week he called n said he got the news he was leaving early may. and then literally not even 24 hours later, it canged to our wedding anniversary is when they leave. less than 3 weeks. so i just dont understand the rush of it. esp when they had approved his leave for our anniversary, we were going to go home n celebrate. i had tickets bought bc the leave was approved and then, oh JK! they stuck him on the list to go. i think its partly bc lots of guys he is with, are getting out in a matter of like 6 months, so they dont have enough time left. <br />
i just am sad to have to say 'see ya later' to him again, so soon after he got back and on our anniversary day of all the days of the year. <br />
and i was actualy thinking of getting a group together here. i was hoping this would help me see who all is out there and what everyones situation is before i started. bc all the wifes of the men my husband works with are like i said, in a different stage in life.

oh yeah im used to it alright! trust me! i just dont like it at the moment. i know that i made this decision to marry him and i would never change that! but for real, i dont care. i still think i have the right to be upset when i find out he is up for another, even longer deployment!<br />
and yes i have tried to meet wives here, but like i said, none are in the same boat with me. all the ones i know, their hubbies are getting out in a few months, mine has 17 more months left, and they all have children. they get together on little play dates and stuff but none ever have wanted to go out and just have fun. <br />
and just a little fyi, i know about mmmmmm 7 wives here. thats it. none of them go to school or work or are having their husbands deploy this time around so it sucks. im not super close with any of them in the first place and when half of them are getting ready to move back home with their husband n chidren, its like wtheck...? where are all the young, fun nice women at???? before i came here ppl said that since its pendelton it would be easy to meet ppl! HA! thats what i have to say. maybe if people werent such hermit crabs it would be easy!<br />
pendelton has tons of activities and support groups of all kinds...for women that have children. i have yet to find one for just the wives. maybe its bc there are few wives that dont have chilren??? idk. but it would be nice to see more fun, welcoming all wives type groups n activities.<br />
i know im strong and i know i gota be strong. but cant a strong person still be upset when her husband is leaving again???

yep pendelton. i swear i never believed the whole 'minnesota nice' thing until i came here! people suck here. no talks to you when you are like checking out at a register. the cashiers rarely say hi! its insane if you ask me. im so used to complete strangers making small talk with me that when i first came here i was in tears about it! haha. and i dont even want to start with how people drive here!!!!

yeah i suppose i could join a club or something. im trying to get involved with my college some more. maybe its just southern california people that arent friendly bc ive tried things and ive just develpoed minor, short relationships. its like the non military people here look at you differently bc well i guess im young, 20, and married. and so i want to find more wives here that i can go get out and do things with

yea my husband will be going thorugh our first deployment to afgan and it will be on our one year anniversary..so im sad but its life and i live in Camp Lejeune,NC and i dnt want to go home i want to stay here but if i go home it will save money and i still have not made my mind up..