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First Time Here

Hi Girls!

I've been married to my husband since September and back in July he made the decision to enter the USMC. We have had multiple issues with his tattoo, it's above his C-7 vetebrae and shirt line, so we had to get it removed. It's finally gone and he just went to do his prequalification for MEPS and it got approved! So he's off to MEPS in two weeks! His recruiter is telling him, or at least he's telling me, that he isn't going to boot camp until the end of October. Has anyone heard of this? I was looking through his papers and I found one that said something about delaying entry but it didn't give many details. He says that he just can't go until then because he wants to to FAST team/RECON but I would think you could go at anytime. Which leads me into another issue where I need yalls help since the opinions won't be biased! We've been together since 2003 so almost 6 years. We're both only 20. In August, 3 weeks before our wedding he told me something was off. He moved out of our apartment and hung out with his single friends for a week since they were all back from college. He came back toward the end of August saying he knew this is what he wanted and so on. We got married on September 6th and it was the most beautiful wedding. We went to Nassau, Bahamas for our honeymoon the next day, hooray for hurricane Ike passing at that time, but something didn't feel right. We didn't connect, it was like we were just friends and nothing more. We had sex twice on our 5 day HONEYMOON.. Things never really recovered. In October, I became good friends with a guy I worked with and I guess you could say we had an emotional relationship. We never had anything physical, it was just nice to have the attention from someone else because I wasn't getting it at home. People at work noticed and told my husband, this was in April I think, and he obviously lost it. I broke off all contact with the other guy because I decided it wasn't worth losing my marriage over, and I should have thought of that before. We decided to try again at the end of April to no avail. Neither one of us gave 100% for some reason. He's living with his mom now and is out partying with his friends every night he's not keeping our 2 year old daughter, which are Mondays, Wednesdays and every other weekend. This whole thing is hell on me.. I know I messed up and I know I hurt him but I've been trying my hardest to make things right. I got a new job, I don't go out, and I put all my energy into my husband and my daughter. He says he still loves me but he doesn't know if he can trust me again and he wants me to give him time. He goes out to clubs all the time, gets completely drunk, and I'm terrified he's going to hook up with another girl. He wants a divorce and says that maybe after the divorce we can start all over and start dating again. I want this marriage to work so bad, I want my best friend and my husband back but this whole waiting thing is killing me. I honestly feel like he'll come home eventually but only after his friends leave to go back to college (71 days and counting). Can yall please give honest opinions?

MrsHeil MrsHeil 18-21, F 2 Responses Jun 11, 2009

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I'd move on. He doesn't sound worth it.

Honest opinion: get rid of the guy. I mean I know he's the father of your child, but it sounds like you two just aren't in love anymore. There is no way to force that. If you have already turned elsewhere once, how do you know you wouldn't do it again? It sounds like neither one of you are happy and are holding onto the hope that you might be one day.<br />
Also, if he needs to wait for his friends to leave to focus attention on you and your daughter then what kind of a guy is he anyways?