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Don't Know What to Do

My name is Hannah. I am 16 almost 17 years old. I will be a junior this year. My boyfriend for 8 months (Cyrus) left for basic 2.5 months ago. I love him so much. He has really helped me overcome a lot in my life. But the one thing is I felt like he didn't love me when he went to basic when he left and a week afterward I slept with my ex (Dominik). Well come to find out I am pregant; I don't know whose it is and my mom's about ready to kick me out. W/e her excuse is she didn't raise me to be like her (she had me young) but why the ***** going to kick me out?! I mean that really isn't going to help the situation. She said that I should stay with Cyrus and not tell him that I don't know who the baby belongs to. Cuz Dominik is a dead beat. Been in and out of jail for domestics and robbery, but I know he would take care of the kid. But mom said that I should just tell Cyrus that the kid is his and get married cuz we will have medical and dental and he will get paid based on how many are in his family. I kind of feel like that is shady but I just wrote Cyrus a letter telling him I am pregnant. I just need you guys to help me decide if I should tell him that I don't know who the daddy is. I mean my mom is right about D and Cyrus is a good guy. I have thought about the other options but I don't know if I was going to do anything it would be abortion. Cuz I don't want anyone else to have the baby if I can't. I feel like I am going on, but I don't know what to do. I am so worried. I had plans of finishing and going to college being the first in the family. I hate Cyrus for leaving, if he would have never left this never would have happened.

 

XOXO-Hannah

deleted deleted 26-30 103 Responses Aug 10, 2009

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this is just horrible im sorry cheating is bad but on a man who is giving up everything to serve his country and he probably did love you but was trying to make leaving hurt less so he pushed you away that is just wrong im sorry i would never cheat on my marine EVER! my marine did the same thing but he loves me im still with him its been two and a half years and we are getting married for love do not marry him tell him the truth and get some help! wow

First of all you don't love him if you could do such a thing to him. Second it's not his fault for leaving...it's yours for not being able to wait for him!! Soo you should tell him what you did because sweety karma is a b****! and I'm not sorry if he decides not to be with you anymore. Ithink that if your a cheater then why should you deserve to stay with such a great person.

First of all you don't love him if you could do such a thing to him. Second it's not his fault for leaving...it's yours for not being able to wait for him!! Soo you should tell him what you did because sweety karma is a b****! and I'm not sorry if he decides not to be with you anymore. Ithink that if your a cheater then why should you deserve to stay with such a great person.

Your 16 for Gods sake!!!!!!!!!! you are a baby your self, no matter what you think you are not ready to be a mom you need to think of the baby and give it to some COUPLE that will love it and care for it the way you will never be able to....Some times the truth hurts.....

No offense, but if you really do love him then you wouldn't have slept with your ex... And you would support Cyrus because this is what he wants to do, and you shouldn't be blaming him for anything because you chose to have sex with your ex.. That's all I got to say. Sorry about your pregnancy.

Hi, so I just read your story and please dont get mad at what I am about to say being married to a marine and having a brother as a marine I have seen many girls come and go with marines and one thing you need to ask yourself is this "do you love him?" to be honest it doesnt sound like it at all. if you think boot camp is hard honey you arent going to survive the tours! Alot of girls think they can handle the departures because the guy is getting paid so well its worth getting married I get lots of money. But as you will see no amount of money is going to keep you his wife while you raise a child that is not his while he is gone. Know that becoming a mother while he is in the Marine Corps YOU WILL BE A SINGLE MOTHER he will hardly be able to help out being tired alot and being gone he will miss out on so much and it is so hard on the guys because they usally dont know how to help out since you do most of the child caring they dont want to get in the way causing lots of fights between and if you know its not his child it will eat at you more and more thinking why am I here just because he makes money. And that money that sounds so good now will quickly be blown away just on needed things. Usally the cost of living next to a base or on a base is expensive. Unless you absoultly love him and this is his child DONT MARRY HIM. Know he is training for life or death and he needs to stay as focused as possible and he either needs a wife that will stay be his side as a helper or leave now before you break his heart. Yes he may have helped you through a lot and thank him for that but dont destroy him he deserves better than that and you know he does. I am sorry for being so blunt but I have seen to many girls miss up Marines and they get hurt not just emotionally but phsyically. This is the down to earth truth take it or leave and just pray about it is all I can say good luck!

he's gonna come back hating you. i can't even believe i read some BS like this. how could you do that to him? how could you sink so low. my fiance has been there for 10 weeks now and the thought of cheating on him or talking to another guy hasn't once crossed my mind. a week later your sleeping with some other dude. wtf. a WEEK later!!!! wow pathetic little girls. this is why there so scared to leave. girls like you is what my marine is fearing of but he has nothing to worry about because i'd NEVER cheat and get prego by another guy. wow. good luck.

you are the reason that Marines are too scared to leave there loved ones.. jody's got your girl. how pathetic.

wow i can't believe it. You're the girls in the movies who cheat on their boy friends except you couldn't even wait a week. That's ridiculous. You're the reason our Marines worry, because of stories like this. You have to tell him the truth.

Ok first off, reguardless of weither or not you "thought" he loved you or not, cheating on him is the worst thing that you could've done. If you were unsure, and knew that you couldn't be faithful to someone who is in training to defend your right to be free, or in this case sleep with whoever you feel like sleeping with, then you should've broken it off before he left. It is completely disrespectful and gives all of us FAITHFUL marine gfs, fiances and wives a bad rep. and I am not going to be the one to be told that my husband shot himself on the range because I couldn't keep my legs closed for the 3 months that he was gone! Now that I've said that I'd like to say that throwing away a problem that you've created isn't the best way either, nor is being selfish in saying that if you can't have the baby, then no one else can... What kind of bs is that? You should've at least been careful enough to protect yourself if anything. And lastly, being a Marine is a lifestyle that calls for a lot of responsibility. It's the lifestyle that your boyfriend picked just like you decided that you wanted to go to college. I really am disturbed that put all of this on him at the end of your entry, saying that if he wouldn't have left, it wouldn't have happened... did you ever consider what would've happened once you were away at college? Are you completely certain that you would've been faithful then? I can almost promise you that I know the answer to that, and guess what, you would be in the same situation that you are now. I highly suggest that you don't throw that babys life away especially not knowing or ever knowing whose it is. Honestly this is your screw up and there is only one way to fix it. I also suggest that you wait until Cyrus is out of bootcamp because it is probably a very stressful point in his life and him knowing how badly you screwed up and how you doubt his love for you would only make it worse. And lastly, do us all a favor, don't screw up our rep, keep your legs closed, and grow a brain!

Ok first off, reguardless of weither or not you "thought" he loved you or not, cheating on him is the worst thing that you could've done. If you were unsure, and knew that you couldn't be faithful to someone who is in training to defend your right to be free, or in this case sleep with whoever you feel like sleeping with, then you should've broken it off before he left. It is completely disrespectful and gives all of us FAITHFUL marine gfs, fiances and wives a bad rep. and I am not going to be the one to be told that my husband shot himself on the range because I couldn't keep my legs closed for the 3 months that he was gone! Now that I've said that I'd like to say that throwing away a problem that you've created isn't the best way either, nor is being selfish in saying that if you can't have the baby, then no one else can... What kind of bs is that? You should've at least been careful enough to protect yourself if anything. And lastly, being a Marine is a lifestyle that calls for a lot of responsibility. It's the lifestyle that your boyfriend picked just like you decided that you wanted to go to college. I really am disturbed that put all of this on him at the end of your entry, saying that if he wouldn't have left, it wouldn't have happened... did you ever consider what would've happened once you were away at college? Are you completely certain that you would've been faithful then? I can almost promise you that I know the answer to that, and guess what, you would be in the same situation that you are now. I highly suggest that you don't throw that babys life away especially not knowing or ever knowing whose it is. Honestly this is your screw up and there is only one way to fix it. I also suggest that you wait until Cyrus is out of bootcamp because it is probably a very stressful point in his life and him knowing how badly you screwed up and how you doubt his love for you would only make it worse. And lastly, do us all a favor, don't screw up our rep, keep your legs closed, and grow a brain!

WOW...so this is apparently the story i missed. kind of wish i still hadn't seen it....<br />
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1) who did Cyrus blame when he cheated on you? did he blame you, or wasn't his out that easy?<br />
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2) you want to let a man just think it is his child when you know it may not be his. you must not care about him or that child at all. you know that attachments are made right? how you going to take the chance of breaking his and the babies heart like that.<br />
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3) put the baby up for adoption. you are no role model for a child, your mother is no role model for you. break the cycle now. <br />
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4)you think you are grown, then let your actions show it. do what a real grown up would and acknowledge your faults so that you can learn from them. <br />
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5) start using some form of protection before your not only spreading kids around your spreading AIDS too.

Wow!! This is so crazy!! I don't see how youo could even give lying about something like this a THought!!! And the fact that you don't know if its his kid and you just want money!?!?! I'm speechless!! My bf is graduating bootcamp in 1 week and never once would I ever think of being unfaithful!! Why would you want to when you have somebody that is wanting to protect so many people in this country! But most of all you!! I'm pretty **** proud to say my guy is A Marine and my Hero!!!

I hate to say but I think you already know. Noone forced you to lay with this man so you can't blame someone for your actions. My daughter is the mother, she unlike most teen mothers didn't give up on herself her child or her future. She had the beautiful boy got married to the father 6 years now finished college and has her B.S. in business and finance. We have all the support she wanted and needed but it was all her doing.Hannah its time for you to grow up play time is over you wanted to be an adult welcome to her world. Good luck and take care of the child time to quite being selfish.

I'm sure you have tons of great advice already but I don't mind adding my two cents. Be honest with everyone and make plans to take care of yourself until you decide where you want to end up. It's so important to take 100% responsiblity for all of your actions, you are in control of your actions.<br />
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Take your time making any life long commitments, especially abortions cause that can not be undone. In the mean time take confidence that you will make the best decision possible and forgive yourself for any mistakes you've made.<br />
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I wish you the best...take care of yourself.

you have to do the DNA test that tells you who is the father so u dont lie to either of Cyrus or Dominik you have to do the test to see who u must be with and merry if u dont want to put the baby for adoption and i actually dont agree the adoption thing !! u have to be responsible for ur mistakes !! and live with the father of the baby !! <br />
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im sorry for everything happend to you :)<br />
take care !!

if you didnt cheat on your boyfriend in the first place you wouldnt be in this mess. i have no sympathy for u.

Beyond everything else that is totally effed about this story.... I just have one question- then I'm sure I'll finish reading the rest of this later....<br />
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Who did your mom tell you your daddy was? If its such great advice who's to say she didn't use it herself.....

WOW i missed everything...dang its only been a few hours! haha..idk if this is fake or not but it if its real..its pretty ****** up.

ok and as for ur mistake and spoiled rich girls comments. <br />
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My parents have a LOT of money. My guys parents have a LOT of money and yet me and Jay are just barely making it. Our parents said that we made grown up decisions so we get to live like adults and thats what we do. <br />
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And yes i think that having sex so young was a mistake but i would NEVER cal my children a mistake they are my life. you have to be a ****** up person to call ur baby a mistake. your a *****. you dont deserve Cyrus. Go back to ur drug dealin, abusive, slacker dead beat and leave the Marine the **** alone. HE trusted you and u ****** him over. You only care about yourself. You just want him to marry you so that he'll take care of ur kid for you. Go play stepmom and get the **** off this site. you dont belong here. We're almost the same age but these ladies dont call me a kid becuz i stepped up to the plate and im takin care of me own kids. ive made mistakes but i handle my business. When i had my kids i didnt get to still be a little kid. I had to grow up. Im a child but i act like a grown woman. You need to just sit ur little *** down. ur kid might be better off in foster care. It will probally get takin away anyways. Cuz i know the Marine wont be that stupid. And he WONT stick around.<br />
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But sweetie come back in 10 years and tell us how being on welfare is while ur baby daddy is sitting in jail and we'll tell you how life with are Marines is soooo great because we never cheated. <br />
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So bye little girl. Go play with ur little wanna be thugs.

ok first little girl, grow the **** up!!!<br />
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Now just to let you know, if your not married when you get pregnant there is a HUGE chance that his command will make him get a paternity test in order to claim that child as a dependant, its a way to protect their marines from lieing little *****. <br />
I am having to get a paternity test done on my son so mine can claim him but i guess the difference between me and you is im not a lieing little ***** and my son is actually his son. <br />
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Its a horrible thing to let your boyfriend think its his just so YOU can have a better life, calling you child a mistake is a horrible thing to do, you are pathetic and immature, you cant raise a child with your mentality, if you do your child is gonna come out even more ****** up then you are. <br />
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You wont let anyone else have your child because your a selfish little girl, you are a gold digging *****, but guess what sweetie marines dont make alot of money!!!

Look sweetie. I'm 17. I have 2 kids. A 3 year old and a new born. I know who the fathers of my children are so i dont know exactly where you're coming from but really hun. If you're pregnant you better man up cuz ur gonna have to be VERY strong. I was not prepared for the emotional place i was in when he left. But i dont run of and screw my ex(mainly becuz i looked like a hippo) but i loved him with all my heart and no matter how depressed i got cheating was never an option. You need to find out who the baby belongs to and WHEN HE GETS HOME you need to tell him that you cheated and if the baby is his or not. But dont ***** about not being able to do it. I've been doing it since i was 14. I CANT feel sorry for you. You have to be VERY strong to be a Marines wife or girlfriend but you have to be like wonder woman to do it and me a mommy. So man up chicka.

Dear Crazeeinluv,<br />
<br />
Sorry to hear about you have to make such a tough decision and no one else around you can be truly helpful to you. Your decision to ask our advices means that you really care about your baby and your life. I have seen some of the advices, some good and some inconsiderate and some you don't need. Hope you won't be discouraged or offended by some of them but they are saying what is in their hearts. But doesn't mean they are right, or wrong or better than you. In my opinion, find some social worker related to this field in your area, they will have all the connections and some supports you need. Then, you will learn you are not alone. I believe you will get through this if you keep trying. Your mom is amazing about how she raised you up and you surely can do it too. <br />
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Keep me post or send me a personal message if you like.

This is all soo jacked up.<br />
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If Cyrus really is the dad, good for him. you 2 go ahead and live happily ever after (haha!). but if D is the dad, Cyrus will find out eventually. and dump your ***. Marines dont put up with **** like this. <br />
After boot camp, my Marine didnt put up with ANYTHING. He tells it how it is. They put up with **** from the Drill Instructors for 3 months and cant do anything about it except take it. After boot, they dont put up with it anymore. and i can tell you right now little girl, he wont put up with your ****!!<br />
Grow up you little *****.

yeah im caitlin! thanks heather i just didnt wana guess your name and look like a complete *** saying the wrong name lol<br />
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and girls i think no matter what we say she twisted little girl who i her mind is doing the right thing

hahahaa i know ducky [[whats your real name sorry im asking i cant remember]] our men make tons of money and all that hahaha omg!! iknow chris is really careful with his money...he makeshispaychecks stretch and i know when we are married its gotta be the same way...<br />
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he deff deserves better

Very true. She is starting off on a very bad start. **** my hubs is an Officer and we are still straped for cash at times. Over here in the UK we have to pay for Dental. We do get medical on the NHS National Health Service. However we have to pay a huge some for our house and all our bills. You do not get BHA here and you only get paid once a month so you better be good at budgeting. Even a TV license. Laughing my *** off.x

So true my daughter is 12 almost 13years old and I would do the same. I wouldn't have it. <br />
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One good thing is she has had it hard and seen how much I have struggled to make ends meet and is so thankful for everything I do for her. <br />
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I have had to go without clothing and wearing shoes with holes just to be able to feed my kids and let my daughter go on trips. Its hard but its worth it. Just to see her and her brothers have a smile.<br />
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I have had to work and miss her school plays and such just so I can put food on the table and I have had to row up super fast.<br />
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Now I look back and I wouldn't change having my children young. I would change some of my choices however.x

and no jade that Maine [[idk if its even her man i dont think she deserves that title]] is never going to be good enough for her

ohhh she deff is a tag chaser she fits it to the very letter...<br />
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*she wants his money [[b/c our men make bazillions of dollars]] lmbooooo<br />
*she wants the dental and health coverage<br />
*she might be carrying another man baby but shes just not goin to tell him that<br />
*shes so anxious shes even going to ask him to marry her<br />
*and shes been with a Marine b4 him <br />
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all this and shes only 16...<br />
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god help me if my daughter ends up like this i will beat the living **** out of her....