It's So Hard To Keep Focused

when the person who supports you the most is miles and miles away. I know you girls know how positive I always try and make my situations and how I always try and look for the rainbow after the storm. The past two weeks I've been through a lot with my room getting destroyed, filing a police report, getting kicked out, adjusting to a new home filled with 3 toddlers, juggling homework with babysitting and managing to not please a single person in the process. All the while Alex is away in training and my thoughts are filled with him and what he could possibly be doing at that moment.

Today I just kind of feel a little down, when Alex left for MCT my best friend Scar also moved to West Palm beach so I'm very far from two very important people to me. Scars girlfriend Kiki is a good friend of mine but lately she's been WAY too busy for me. My friend Jacquie is like my sister and she tries to help as much as she can but she has her own life and her own problems, and I hate to come on here and vent to you girls cause believe me I'd much rather share happy-go-lucky stories with you cause I know you have your very own problems to deal with. It does, however, feel good to vent a little. Although as you can see I suck at that.. lol.. I'm still keeping positive which I know in a way is like lying to myself. You guys are probably like "Girl, your in denial.. your totally sad just cry damn it!" --> I'm so tough on myself, I can't let myself break down when I know Alex is going through so much and my only option is to be there for him and be supportive as much as I can. My life is a constant reminder of how I can overcome anything, trust me when I say I've been through a lot and the biggest accomplishment for me has been overcoming those things and still managing to be happy.

You girls really help me a lot. I've gotten especially close to a few of you lol you know who you are Mel, Amber, and Brina!! I've gotten a lot from EP and I'm really greatful for everyone including the girls who I didn't mention. Totally care about you all too!! Wow this story started off kinda sad and you can totally tell by the end it helped to write it. Okay girls, Im not crazy lol ... done ranting :] thanks again



LittleDeviant LittleDeviant
18-21, F
1 Response Feb 11, 2010

Thank you Emily and Audacity, you guys are very wise. I think that I'll take you guys advice and just cry lol, I might pop in a super mushy movie and let it all out. That sounds like an awesome idea. I know I just have all this pent up stress and it's hard for me to let it out without feeling like a pathetic little thing lol but I know letting it all out is very healthy for me. :]