And Its Begun

Some of you will remember me from a different username. This is Heather. I started EP fresh so that I wasn't putting to much info about me and my husband for everyone to see.

So we've officially begun the deployment, the count down has begun. I don't anything can prepare a person for what its like. I've only just begun and just the send of was so hard. We had to be at base long before the sun came up and we got to watch from a distance as the guys got their gear and weapons and of course when they weren't super busy I'd be right by my husbands side getting as many hugs and kisses as I could and of course soaking up his smell as much as I could (which may sound weird). I really thought that I was doing well standing there waiting for their departure. But when it came time for them to load onto the busses I broke down, I didn't want to let his hand go, I told him that he still had time to break his big toe so that he could stay (my selfish wish), the tears started pouring and it felt like my heart was falling apart. Knowing that it will be seven months before I can wrap my arms around him and kiss his sweet lips hurt every part of me. I stood right outside of the window that he was seated by until the moment they shut off the interior lights and drove out of the parking lot. As soon as I got home I crawled into our bed and just stayed there for a while, in a small way it was a way to feel close even if just for a short moment. The first night alone in our bed was so hard, I was so tired and I just couldn't fall asleep and when I did I would dream of him and wake up. I'm definitely having major ups and downs emotionally with the deployment already. His first email made me tear up. I already cant wait for whenever that first phone call comes.

I am so grateful that his mom was here with me for this. I don't know how I would have handled all of this alone.

I've made it a point to try and focus on the positive and do things to keep me distracted. I'm already trying to think of cute welcome home sign ideas and I'm already going to start looking for a cute outfit to wear for his return. I've gone out and started picking up small things for care packages and I have picked up stationary so that his letters wont all just be on plain paper.

I'm really just hoping that this time will fly by.

inconspicuous inconspicuous
22-25, F
4 Responses Feb 15, 2010

Thank you so much ladies for your sweet words. Your all so amazingly strong!

heyyyy hun!! i just wanted to let you know you can call or text me or massage me anytime and i will be there for you! i understand its soooo hard and if you need me ill be here :)

Hey hun.....your send off sounds exactly like mine. Some of the other s/o's left as soon as they got off the bus, but I couldn't leave until the bus disappeared from sight. I lost it too when they shut off the interior lights. I was standing right outside his window crying. He said that some of the other guys mentioned it to him. I said "oh did I embarass you?" He said no, that some of the other guys were jealous that their girls didn't stay the whole time and the fact that I was so upset showed how much I love him.<br />
<br />
I remember him leaving like it was yesterday. I actually worked that day after being up all night. That was crazy, I will never do that again. I had a 2 1/2 hour drive after an 8 hour work day. I broke down several times during the day and when I got home I totally lost it. But now we have completed a month. In some ways it seems like it has been forever, in other ways it seems like that time has flown. Keeping busy is the best way to get through, and also do things to make yourself feel good. I have started working out, slowly but surely, I am listening to books on cd for my long commute, and I am learning Spanish. I also want to organize my life. Setting these little goals to better myself makes me feel like I can use this time for good things. Please let me know if there is anything I can do for you. We can all get through this together love!

Just reading about him leaving made me cry. Ugh! My husbands been gone for 15 weeks, and we have 15 more to go! Honestly, it has gone somewhat fast. I'm surprised we're already half way done but I've been ready for him to come home since the day he left! <br />
Just do what you need to do to stay sane (I know we all deal with this differently), and time will start moving! :)