Vday Fail.

so this morning around 5am jason texts me saying

"good morning babe I hope you have a great day I miss you!"

so I respond with a cool

"you too."

and he proceeds to ask me if i was mad at him or something..I tell him this "I feel like you forgot about me yesterday."

he tells me "but when you asked me to be your valentine I said 'yes' and you didnt text me for the rest of the day so I thought you were working."

[i guess he had a point]

BUT

i said ''but yesterday was a day to show the person you care about that you care. I care about you and didnt want you to feel left out bc we're apart so I sent you something. I just feel like I didnt exist in your world yesterday.''

and he says "Im sorry babe those werent my intentions at all.''

 

so.

how do i take this ladies?

I feel empty and hurt still. he hasnt tried to make it better. but he did apologize...does this mean he doesnt care?

just the night before on the 13th he was telling me that he ''missed'' me and i told him "i miss you too, I wish you were here to play in the snow and drink coffee with me in the mornings'' he replied "that would be perfect", i said "maybe one day" and he says "why maybe?" and I said "well maybe I should have said 'i hope' instead of maybe?'' and he said "i like that better because I hope too".

so sweet.

so does he care about me or does he not?

I feel so empty.

:(

my roomates yesterday were being ruthless. they kept saying ''el he's not texting you bc he's busy sleeping with someone else today''.

really hurt my feelings.

I dont htink i deserved to be forgotten.

I thought I meant more to him than that.

does he care about me or not?

elupchurch elupchurch
22-25, F
10 Responses Feb 15, 2010

sorry to comment back so late!<br />
things have totally worked out, he was going through his staff sgt school and just didnt have time. Since he's been out of his school things have been heavenly:) he's actually just sent me a package in the mail and it's awesome:) thanks for your support i appreciate it so much!

Hey sweetie.. Me and Tanner were apart for a whole year and I didnt get one gift from him.. and it didnt bother me he is so far away and the only thing I wanted was to see him..But when he came home he gave me a necklace and told me it was for all the holidays he missed (which was all of them lol) so what me and tanner do instead of sending packages we celebrate them when he comes home..we had Christmas in June one time Im sure people thought we were crazy because we even sat up a Christmas tree.! But I dont think that this doesnt mean he doesnt care about yo..hope you guys worked everything out!

thanks ana:)<br />
<br />
ive been worried lately that he's been upset with me. He told me today he's been in the field since monday and wont get to go home until friday afternoon so Im thinking thats the reason he's been a little short with me[at least i hope!]<br />
I think at this point Im going to drop it, I think in time he'll open up and become a little sweeter or whatever. we've got time. <br />
I just hope that me being a brat didnt make us back track in our relationship thats all.

don't listen to other people's negative commentary. they do not know every aspect of your relationship and will only instigate trouble! <br />
i understand and empathize with you about feeling unappreciated on dumbo valentines day. i got to go see my man this weekend, but we didnt do ANYTHING special for valentines day, really all that mattered was that i got to see him, but i got all worked up after a great time with him just because OTHER people in my life kept drilling me for details and tried to sweep me up in the whole valentines day expectations thing. <br />
one silly holiday does not define your relationship with your man. even though it is nice to feel special on that day because there's such a big deal made of it, i realized, after being really upset my entire drive home, that i shouldnt let other people's expectations affect my feelings so much. <br />
im still a little disappointed i didn't get swept off my feet, but when i think about other things he's done for me, or the times he's been there for me, it seems so petty in the grand scheme of things<br />
<br />
reading the convo back and forth that you guys had, i just want to say that i have amazingly similar convos with my guy. I think he does care about you, but since guys are emotionally handicapped, i think both our guys like "test the waters" with comments or texts they say or send before making emotional or romantic leaps. it's hard for us girls to be vulnerable and trust someone else with our hearts, its just as hard for them, they just don't wear their hearts on their sleeves as easily as we can. <br />
i agree with silversophy, you should let him know how you feel. not to give him a guilt trip or anything like that, but chances are he's clueless and thinks everything is okay. it's really for your sanity :)<br />
<br />
good luck!<br />

i tried to tell him exactly how i felt which is pretty hard for me, and the girls are right. I may have over reacted some. But either way it really did hurt my feelings. He's 26 you know? I feel like he's not dumb and he's not a boy any more, he's a man. He knows that girls are more sensitive and all that and shouldve known that him barely aknowledging my existance would hurt. <br />
but anyway-<br />
i was mostly let down because the night before valentines day he was talking to me about how important i am to him and babies and the rest of our lives and all of that so I got my own hopes up thinking that since he says all of these things that surely he's doing something for me for vday.<br />
wrong.<br />
but..It really doesnt matter now, I double checked with him to see if I hurt his feelings and he said i didnt so Im glad.<br />
<br />
my sister says im a brat.<br />
I am, she's right.<br />
<br />
it's just hard when I do so much for him constantly and he hasnt recipricated that you know?

i honestly think you're overreacting a bit. Like all the other girls said.... its just another day. Don't get caught up with all the hype. I'm sure he cares for you and some guys have different ways of showing how they feel, it doesn't necessarily mean that they're not putting in any effort.

thanks for the feed back you guys:)<br />
<br />
first off I need to explain myself a little.<br />
<br />
I have sent him a care package almost every week since we have been together and for valentines day I sent him a 7 pound package even though he hates vday, just because I wanted him to feel special.<br />
<br />
its not that i wanted him to buy me anything, i just wanted him to make some kind of effort like send me a picture of a heart through a picture text or something. does that make sense? <br />
<br />
I just care so much and try so hard to make sure he knows that Im thinking about him and missing him too, Im just starting to feel like Im doing all of the work in our relationship..thats all.<br />
<br />
and instead of pouting I should have talked to him more yesterday. that was my fault.

If he is sending you texts saying he misses you and hopes you have a good day, of course he cares about you! If he didn't care, he'd ignore you. Maybe your empty feeling is being caused by something else... the only reason my husband went all-out on Vday was because I told him exactly what I wanted. I wasn't like, "Show me you care!" I was more like, "I want a necklace, and chocolate, and lets go out to dinner at this place, and then see this movie." Sometimes you gotta spell it out, especially if it's something that means a lot to you, and probably doesn't mean a lot to him.

Valentines day isn't a big deal to me...so I don't see this as a sign that he doesnt care.<br />
It seems like you could've made an effort to be in contact with him more yesterday..and maybe just talking to him would've made you feel better and not so bothered by the lack of a gift...?

don't listen to your roommates at all! he probably just doesn't know how to react to being apart from you on a day like that! ESPECIALLY because he is a guy... how many guys do you no do a good job showing their feelings in front of you, now have them try showing you miles away from you. It will all be okay girl just keep you head up :)