Happy Friday Ladies....

I hope everyone is doing well. This has been a rough week for me and I am sure for many of you ladies. I feel like this past week has taken a month with dealing with the offensive. I have been better about reading the news stories online. When it first happened I was checking the news websites every 10 minutes or so. I got about 10 hours of sleep in 3 days. It is a little better now, but I am feeling the exhaustion creeping in so I am REALLY looking forward to this weekend. This deployment has been hard, but I also feel like I have a lot more support from my friends and family. This is probably because I am reaching out for it. I am a very strong-willed person (ok, ok....stubborn...lmao) and I try to be strong and keep everything in. This time I am talking more and asking for help when I need it. I just don't ever want to seem whiny or weak, but my family and friends, and you ladies of course have been amazing. I am counting the hours until I get off work so I thought I would share some fun stuff with you.

Here are a couple funny things for you to do:

Go to google and type in "French military victories" and hit I'm feeling lucky....see what happens...

Go to google and type in "Where can I find Chuck Norris" and hit I'm feeling lucky....

Some Jokes:

 Little Thelma comes home from first grade and tells her father that she wants to give a valentine to Osama bin Laden. Why Osama bin Laden? her father asks in shock. Well, she says, I thought that if a little American girl could have enough love to give Osama a valentine, he might start to think that maybe we're not all bad, and maybe he'll start loving people a little bit. And if other kids saw what I did and then they sent valentines to Osama, he'd love everyone a lot. And then he'd start going all over the place telling everyone how much he loved them and how he didn't hate anyone anymore. Her father's heart swells and he looks at his daughter with newfound pride. Thelma, that's the most wonderful thing I've ever heard. I know, Thelma says. And once that gets him out in the open, the Marines can blow the **** out of him.

 

 Two airmen were driving across country on leave. They come to a Marine Corps base and decide to visit. They approach the gate and the Marine Guard walks up to the driver's window, and taps on it with his nightstick. The driver rolls down the window, and the Marine smacks him in the head with

the stick. The driver says, Why'd you do that?

The Marine says, You're on a United States Marine Corps Base, son. When I come up to your car, you'll have your ID card ready.

Driver says, I'm sorry, We're in the Air Force, and we didn't know.

The Marine examines the I.D. card and gives it back to the driver.

The Marine walks around to the passenger side and taps on the window. The passenger rolls his window down, and the Marine smacks him with the nightstick.

The passenger says, What'd you do that for?

The Marine says, Just making your wishes come true.

The passenger says, Huh?

The Marine says, I know that as soon as you pull away you're gonna say, 'I wish that sucker would've tried that **** with me!'

 

 Marine Corps Rules For Gun Fighting:



Anything worth shooting is worth shooting twice. Ammo is cheap. Life is expensive.

Only hits count. A close miss is still a miss.

If your shooting stance is good, you're probably not moving fast enough nor using cover correctly.

If you can choose what to bring to a gunfight, bring a long gun and a friend with a long gun.

In ten years nobody will remember the details of caliber, stance, or tactics.

They will only remember who lived.

If you are not shooting, you should be communicating, reloading, and running.

Have a plan.

Have a back-up plan, because the first one won't work.

Use cover and concealment as much as possible.

Flank your adversary when possible. Protect yours.

Don't drop your guard.

Be courteous to everyone, friendly to no one.



Navy Rules For Gunfighting:

Go to Sea

Send the Marines

Drink Coffee

 


The National Science Foundation announced the following study results on U.S. military recreation preferences:

1. Sport of choice for Marines: bowling.

2. Sport of choice for Sailors: football.

3. Sport of choice for Soldiers: baseball.

4. Sport of choice for Coast Guardsmen: tennis.

5. Sport of choice for Airmen: golf.

Notice how the farther down the list you go, the smaller their balls get.

 


Recruit gone AWOL


As the sun rose over Parris Island, the senior drill instructor realized that one of his recruits had gone AWOL. A search party was dispatched immediately. After a few hours the recruit was discovered hiding in some bushes. He was sent back to the base and promptly escorted to the drill instructor's office. The instructor asked the young recruit, "Why did you go AWOL?"



The recruit replied, "My first day here you issued me a comb, and then proceeded to cut my hair off. The second day you issued me a toothbrush, and sent me to the dentist, who proceeded to pull all my teeth. The third day you issued me a jock strap, and I wasn't about to stick around and find out what would follow that SIR."


 

 


Two widows, are talking at the Bowling Alley.

Martha says, "That nice George Johnson asked me out for a date.

I know you went out with him last week and I wanted to talk with you about him before I give him my answer."

Edna: "Well, I'll tell you. He shows up at my apartment punctually at 7 P.M. Dressed up like such a gentleman in a fine suit. And he brings me such beautiful flowers! Then he takes me downstairs and what's there but a beautiful car. . . a limousine, uniformed chauffeur and all.

Then he takes me out for dinner. . .marvelous dinner - lobster. Then we go see a show. Let me tell you, Martha, I enjoyed it so much I could have just died from pleasure!

So then we are coming back to my apartment and he turns into an ANIMAL!!! Completely crazy. He tears off my expensive new dress and has his way with me two times! He's a retired Marine!"

Martha: "Goodness gracious! . . so you are telling me I shouldn't go out with him?

Edna: "No . . . I'm just saying, wear an old dress."


Caligirl125 Caligirl125
26-30, F
1 Response Feb 19, 2010

Does anyone know how to load pictures into stories? You used to be able to copy and paste but not anymore. I don't get it. I have some funny pics I want to post.