Question For You....

If your man is deployed now or has ever been deployed, do you watch the news? Do you check casualty websites? I am just wondering who does and who doesn't do this. I'm just curious. Also I just spent over an hour looking through 600 pictures on the Yahoo website with Afghan pictures looking for M just hoping to see him..... :)

 

I was just wondering if anyone else does this?

I feel a break coming on ladies. The later in the day gets the more sad I get and I don't know why. I feel so alone. I just want to hug my baby and sob into his shoulder and have him tell me everything will be ok.

Caligirl125 Caligirl125
26-30, F
9 Responses Feb 19, 2010

i watch the news/ read the news all the time!!!! even though Marco would not want me to - but i cant help it .. its really hard when you read bad news - but also really helpful when they actually write something good.

I swore up and down no news, no news, no news. As soon as I heard from another girl the date it was going down, I started watching and sure enough the date I was given, was the day it started. I've watched ever since too. I can't stop. Also I looked through 700 some pictures on some site to try to find J haha so I totally know what its like to wana see him!

I read the news and looked through alllll the pictures!

Thank you so much ladies....

just like audry said girl CRY! if you dont you will just build it up until you break down. You don't need that girl. I have said this before I no it is weird but it helps me... everyday i give myself 15 min to react to ryan being gone. I can scream cry laugh bawl my eyes out but once that 15 is up i wipe my tears and start my day. i don't wan to soak around all day because that will only end up hurting me depressing me which would depress him and I could never depress him you no? so it really does help (sometimes you may go over 15 min but not more then 30) i dont want to bottle my emotions up either though i hope everything gets better you are probably just having one of those days we all get. everything will be okay we are all here for you. and to answer your question ryan is still in the US and i even look at pictures for hours sometimes just to see everything over there.

Tracy, I know I am still really new to the deployment thing but I dont think I am strong enough to watch the news, I think it would cause me to worry more than I need to and the casualties would scare me. As far as coming across news stories that mention Afghanistan when I go to check my email I usually end up reading them out of curiosity. Part of me wants to know whats going on and part of me doesn't. And letting yourself cry is not a bad thing, it will help you feel better. I had my husbands mom here with me for a while after he left and while she was here I maintained my strong face but the day after she left I broke down crying probably harder than I have ever cried. But I do feel better now. So if you feel that you need to break down and cry then let yourself, get some Ben and Jerrys or some chocolate, curl up in bed, wrap up in something of M's, basically whatever will make you feel closer to him or that will help you feel better.<br />
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I hope you hear from M again soon and that he's able to reassure you.

god I hope this doesn't delete in any way. I am girlfriend of a marine and completely understand how you feel. He will be deploying for the second time here in less than a month and Afganistan depending on where they are being sent there can be dangerous. His first deployment the first month and two I did what you are doing. I spent hours researching and seeking for hope that he would be in an ad, or in the news. Sadly I thought horrible things that could possibly happen to him, my hopes were hoping he was safe and I wouldn't find him there. <br />
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Even with a full time job the hours of being and feeling isolated and alone still came. I couldn't sleep and when I did I held his shirt the last he wore when we were together the morning he left to Iraq close to me. The smell of it brought sadness to my heart and tears that felt never ending. I missed him so much and the feeling I know would never leave me. God I spend hours thinking of what may happen to him and having small hope of him returning thinking terrible thoughts, such as; 'what if he never comes back and I have to live the rest of my life without him?' I can't do this alone. 'I understand why they have to leave, but it hurts us too'. I mean so many thoughts some of which were good though.<br />
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The first couple months are always hard and there will come times where they will try to contact you and it's ethier a hit or miss especially if you work. Those times are hard, I wallowed in tears when I'd miss his calls. I'd tell myself I wasn't good enough, because I wanted to be there more for him yet I understood I couldn't possibly do that. I learned to deal with the hard times and to get through the deployments having more faith than what I did have the first couple months. And by doing that I did things such as finding what I enjoyed again setting aside our heros. I played the guitar and listened to music for hours. I worked out when I had the down time setting aside working several hours a day. I spent time understanding faith more by reading quotes and going to church on and off with a friend. I use to say I was a Christian, but I am atheist time has found me at this place. I was fortunate to have family close by even though they are crazy as hell they had given me hope and encouraged me in there own ways to keep strong. <br />
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My best advice to you is to cry when you feel it coming, but do it in a way that is healthy. If your crying all the time, because you feel as if you've lost him and are searching for him. Cry in a way encouraging yourself that he is still alive, because you haven't heard from him. The one thing I can say about that is if they are truely and physically not well, possibly in death sitaution you will be contacted one way or another very soon. Not hearing from them is sometimes a hopeful measure. Crying before you sleep is sometimes helpful I know for me, because I am exhausted anyways from the days when I emotionally express how I feel inside it helps me sleep better. <br />
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Keep busy, find what you enjoy, and even if you have no faith in a god, or religion, atleast have faith in yourself that you are strong and will get through this. Have faith that they will too. Another thing is sending care packages to our marines as little as it sounds it means so much to them to recieve even a letter, or a card saying' I love you'. It's simple as getting an address from their unit to where to send the packages too and they will recieve it in ethier a month, if not less if you ask how to send to military personal in country.<br />
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I really appreciate you sharing your story and believe me there are several others who understand how you are feeling. I hope that me sharing what I have been through has helped you in some way. If you need to write back I'm sure you can find a link to send a message back. It's only my second day here, but I really find this place inspirational. I hope to hear from you.

ps i dont watch the news but lately i have been bc im curious

awww hun i feel ya on that id just like to talk to chris...i dont have anything important to say but i these days are starting to feel like MONTHS. i am thankful i heard from him sunday he wrote hes glad im safe and sound and moved and happy vday...end of disscussion :( but idk im just trying to forget the lonely feeling i have inside....i guess its my way of coping...im deff adjusting to not talking to him but i just want to know hes mentally okay bc i know physically he is "no news is good news!" GAHHHH idk im here if you need me hunny i miss you so so sooooo much!!!