Sunshine And Rainbows


I'm hoping that after I conquer this deployment thats what it'll be. How could it not be, my husband will be home.

I figured it was time for an update but I'm not really sure what to say.

The deployment has definitely been a challenge. A challenge that I had no idea just how hard it would be. I had gotten spoiled after we got married, and I had gotten used to seeing him almost every day and talking to him when I wanted. The first week I would randomly have panic attacks to the point where I felt I couldnt breath and where I didnt think I was going to be able to deal with this. I wanted to run, I wanted to escape the hurt. But he truly is the love of my life and so there's no way that this is going to chase me off. Each day does get a little easier but every day I still hope that some sort of miracle happens and that my husband will get to come home. There are still times when I cry and times when I get mad over things that neither my husband and I can control, like the little communication. I found myself getting mad at my husband like it was his choice to only be able to call me one time in the first month. As silly as it sounds I was afraid that he would forget about be over there.

I try and focus on small little things that make me happy. I love putting together care packages. I've sent two already and he hasnt even gotten the first one yet. The second one was for our anniversary, it was a simple one but I still think it'll make him smile. I love thinking about his homecoming, thinking about looking cute for him and jumping into his arms and kissing him repeatedly. I love planning a welcome home sign and buying the supplies for it. And I also love knowing that my husband cant wait to come home to me. And that we both cant wait to add to our little family.

I definitely still have my hard days. I dont think those will go away until he's home. But I am hoping now that we're through the first month, which is supposedly the hardest, that I'll get into more of a routine and that the time will fly.

inconspicuous inconspicuous
22-25, F
1 Response Mar 14, 2010

everything will b ok its true we r all here for u n i agree with elizabeth339 i will also need u one boyfriend deploys in july so i will definitly need someone tha has had the experience of deployment