So.....I know I haven't posted in a while. There is soooooo much that has happened. I won't go into it all just key points. So I've been with my married man for little over a year. We've been through a lot of ups and downs not just in our relationship but in our personal lives as well. As much as I love him I decided to move on..............there's only one problem. How the hell do I do it? I know some are going to say cut communication, don't answer the door if he comes over, etc. He is a drug to me. And if anyone has experienced or know someone who's experienced drug use.....its a tough battle!!! My mind says **** him......but my heart is filled with ecstasy!! I've never been so attached to a man in all my life....I'm not saying I'm cold and didn't love some of my past lovers but I always had the ability to cut ties especially when it needed to be. I'm sure your wondering how I came to this conclusion especially if you've read some of my past post about us being together. Well........as much as love him....I don't see it going anywhere. Let me paint a mental picture for you so that maybe you can really understand where I'm coming from. I see us together.....in love....nice house.....kids......love......amazing sex........bliss.......rose petals.......................ummm can someone please slap this ***** back to REALITY. Im scared of the bliss, passion, love, romance dying once I get what I say I want.....him! I see arguing, bills, routine( hate routine unless its stimulating), boredom, kids, depression, loneliness, etc. I do want all those things.....family....kids...vacations....but I'm scared it will end up bad. I never asked him to leave his wife even though he has expressed doing so. I know he's not leaving his wife........ unless maybe he finds a woman with more money than her. And honestly I don't want to marry him. Yea Mr. And Ms. Such and such sounds good, having a wonderful wedding pics, his and her bath sets, canoodling,........it all sounds great.....but what about after the party ends?? To be continued.........
Lishadntplay Lishadntplay
26-30, F
1 Response Aug 16, 2014

He's something you can't really have. That's the attraction. If he were to leave his wife for you, you would lose interest. I've lived, I've seen it. Happenes all the time...
Find something that can be yours, there will be a lot less drama, or join in a poly relationship. At least you will all know what is going on