I Need Some Positive Advice.....but Also The Truth

Here is some background:
I am 17, just graduated HS and my boyfriend is almost 19. We have been dating for 8 months and when he leaves for boot camp we will have been dating over 10 months, known each other for over a year. We have had AMAZING times and rough times while we have been dating. He went to California, we live in Missouri, for a month to spend time with his bro who is in the navy and we survived that and were the same or better when he got back. We have seen each other at our worst and our best. I truly have never felt this way about anyone and he says he feels the same. I know he loves me and I love him, but I don't know what is going to happen. We talk about the future and being together and that is all I want. My boyfriend leaves for boot camp on March 19th. So we have a couple months left and the past month has been great!!

My problem is that I am scared. I'm not just scared......I am terrified! His whole family has or is in the navy, even though I am close with them I don't know how to talk to them about this and don't have anyone else to talk to bout these things.....

I am scared that he will go away and when he is permentally stationed he will find someone else because I cant go with him yet. I am sooooo scared that everyone is right that it wont work but I needa know that I am right that it can work. I am going to work as hard as I can to be with him. That is all I want. The other day he seemed like he wants to get married to me some day. I know we are young but were planning to wait a couple of years.

I really am just lose. I need any and every advice about being a navy girlfriend that I can get. Not just advice about us staying together but advice about EVERYTHING! Please tell me the truth and give me any faith that couples do stay together through this all.........because all my friends and other people act like it wont.
emmysue007 emmysue007
18-21, F
2 Responses Jan 10, 2013

GET TO KNOW HIS FAMILY. I don't mean just get to know them on a we-text-now-and-then basis. Learn their stories, learn what kept them together as each and every one of them made the same transition that you're learning to make. If they all did it, why couldn't you? And, by the sound of it, they would be the perfect way of balancing out "all the people" who say that you won't be able to make this work. (Also, it always SEEMS like more people are judging you than there actually are. The trick is to love him independently. You're not asking your friends to love him. You're not asking your friends to make those sacrifices. So why let them tell you how to love and sacrifice?) Don't doubt yourself more than you know you should, but be aware of your limits. If you need more contact with him, WRITE MORE. If you need to indulge in some time to yourself (not breaking up, but just a little less contact so you can get your head on straight), take that time. And let him know you're scared? Even the most macho guy is a little scared too, I can promise you that. It's better to tackle it together than to both be scared out of your wits and try to go it alone.

His time in the Navy will be BOTH of your time. This is a story for two.

I know things are scary, and the thoughts in your head sometimes get the best of you. When he leaves you'll just have to remember all the good times you've had while you've been together. While he's in basic/bootcamp, write a lot of letters, but keep them positive, he'll need your support! Once you find out when his graduation is, make sure you can go! I wasn't able to go to my boyfriends graduation because of school and it was really upsetting. If you're able to go it will mean a lot to him and you'll get to see him again.