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Stop It!!!!!!!

Okay, I'm on several pages on Facebook for military spouses where we can all go and have a laugh together, and to support and encourage each other while our hubby's are deployed, etc. and also on several military spouse groups on here, & I NEED to get this out. Say what you will, bash me if you want, personally I don't care and it won't bother me.. this mostly applies to the LADIES out there because generally men don't do this because they have a little bit of common sense.. So, here goes. As a military girlfriend, fiancee, wife, whatever.. YOU DO NOT HAVE A RANK!!!!!! Please please pleaseeeeeeeee STOP saying "Oh, honey you got promoted, I'm so proud of you.. what rank are 'WE'?" "WE" aren't any rank.. HE has a rank. YOU DO NOT! YOU did not earn that rank. YOU did not get promoted. YOU did not work for that rank! You didn't go to war, you didn't fight for your country, you didn't stand on the front line, you didn't get shot at, you didn't do ANYTHING to deserve that rank! DO NOT WEAR IT! "Y'ALL" aren't an E-6. HE IS! Also, please STOP whining and complaining. YOU CHOSE THIS LIFE! You knew what you were getting yourself into. Suck that **** up and deal with it. STOP FEELING SORRY FOR YOURSELF, GET OUT OF BED, and continue on with your life. He WANTS you to do that. I understand the first few weeks of deployment are rough especially if its your first time, BUT, him knowing you're so depressed that you won't even get out of bed will NOT make things any easier for him! God forbid anything happens to him while he's over-seas but if it does are you going to stay in bed for the rest of your life?! HELL NO! He will take pride in knowing that you can get your *** up and carry on with your life and take care of yourself while he's gone. THAT will make him love you even more, NOT you complaining and crying all the time refusing to get out of the bed. GET REAL HONEY! Get up and do what you gotta do. Get a job. Hang out with friends. Have some fun. If you can't do that, then you aren't cut out for this life. Seriously. Oh and by the way being a military spouse is NOT the hardest job in the military because YOU are not in the military. GET OVER YOURSELF, GET OVER IT, AND CARRY ON. Adapt and overcome, remember?! HOOAH!
bnsjms bnsjms 18-21, F 2 Responses Jan 25, 2013

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Let me just start by saying AMEN. That is all lol :)

i would essentially agree with you, but only in the instance of those aggravatingly pompous FRG [Family Readiness Group] wives. From my personal experience, they're the ones who swear up and down that everything associated with their husband somehow affects wtf they do at home, and they tend to be [not a l w a y s] the nasty one while their husband is the chill one having a beer over at O/our house >.>

Anywho, i also agree that blubbering on and on about how "depressed" His being deployed will only make a situation like His worse. My own man and i just made over a month with O/our first deployment, and while more often than not i can hardly crawl outta the bed it's certainly not something i bring to His attention. He has to be concerned with His well-being so that He can thrive in His occupation and come home in one ******* breathing piece, you know? You sniveling about how much you miss him won't change ****, which is why i've told Him from the very beginning that if i have any sort of emotional need, it's my obligation to Him to seek out support in other ways. Yes, He makes it clear that He's reaching out. But i feel it's part of my job as His woman to be big enough to seek emotional comfort from friends and family.

i wouldn't go so far as to say that means you're not "cut out for this life", though. Everyone handles things differently. It's just when you behave a certain way to receive his attention that makes the Army Wife/GF look imbecilic.

Okay, I posted this out of anger and can clearly see where "not cut out for this life" can be misconstrued. I DID mean what I said, but probably not in the way you're taking it.... MY point was, when entering a relationship with someone in the military, I'm sure they explain the way things are gonna be. They're gonna tell you about deployments, about how they have to go to drill, if they have to go on orders, etc. and all of these girls are like yeah I got this, I'm Army Strong blah blah blah. THEN he gets deployed and its like BOOM their life is over. That's unacceptable. Like I said, I DO understand grieving for a few weeks because of course it's gonna be hard, especially for first time deployments. And that is completely understandable. BUT, at some point you have GOT to pick yourself up and say ya know what, I CAN DO THIS! I've seen girls make themselves physically ill because they refuse to get up and do something with themselves and all they do is lay in bed and mope around the house.... I guess what I'm trying to say is it takes a special kind of person to be able to deal with being a military spouse.... some people are just not cut out for it.

No I understand what you said and why :] I just don't think it's fair to really say because you thought you'd be stronger than you currently are it means you aren't cut out for something. But I feel you. Again, some may need more support and ways to handle things more than others. And we have to keep in mind that majority of our man's job isn't focused on deployments and things of that nature, and not everyone has "the talk" about what's expected when becoming the significant other of a soldier. I know we didn't! :)

I understand your point, I suppose some people just see situations differently. This wasn't meant to bash other military wives, I just needed to vent really..

I suppose it's not really the fact that people grieve differently that bothers me.... I know everyone handles things differently. What DOES bother me is when girls mostly use their soldier being gone JUST to get pity. You can kind of tell when people are sincerely upset and when they just want sympathy.

Amen to that!

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