I Still Worry That I Am Like Him..

I also worry that in

reacting to him, to my inadequecy at protecting my mother, I am over-protective.

that I see all my female friends (ok every woman and girl in the world) as a little girl in need of my protection, that i am unable to adequatly provide coz I am  worthless, uselessless. weak, ineffectual, not a real friend, not a real person. I feel like my love is all wrong, like I am actually suspicious of my own motives all the time.. do I want to protect anyway... or am i after control too ???

 

 

I don't want to be like my dad.. I knoow I am not going to be anything like him in reality.. but i can always have my fears.. I  can always torture myself, question myself, my motives,  I can pick myself apart with my constant self analysis..

 

demonizd demonizd
31-35, M
1 Response Mar 3, 2009

Thanks, Avi.