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Losing Patience

I was with a man for 13 yrs and he molested my daughter, his step-daughter, for 8 of those yrs. It's been a year and a half since she spoke up. No trial yet. He is out on bond , free to roam around from 6 am to 9pm. We have to watch everything and everyone around us. Always nervous that we will bump into him. He had the right to bond out. He has the right to leave his house all day. Where are my daughter's rights? She has now graduated from high school and has plans for her future but we have this hanging over our heads. I feel stuck, living in limbo with no answere in sight and losing my patience. Now I have been diagnosed with a mass in my lung and going thru testing. The struggle is hard. Some days are better than others. Just want it all over with.
ccangel ccangel 46-50 4 Responses Jun 12, 2011

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I was married for almost 15 years. He molested my eldest daughter for almost all of that time plus more. Not only free to roam from 6 a.m. to 9 p.m., but totally free to MOVE!! I am angry and tired.

I understand exactly what you are going through. 2 years ago, my 19 yr old daughter came and told me that her biological father had molested her from age 3 (earliest memory) to age 15. She had been afraid to speak up but finally got the courage when he was behind bars on charges of physical assault against me. It has taken all this time for 2 different states to pick up charges then one state dropped because she couldnt recall exact dates! It happened her entire life...children cant remember exact dates! We have been working hard to keep him behind bars but he has been approved for parole on the assault charges even though he has 7 pending charges of child molestation. I just cant understand how they can parole him.. its dangerous for my daughter, myself and my other 2 children. They say he has rights but where are our rights? My daughter is in college and recently married...she is trying to move forward with her life but it is hard to do when she lives in fear that he might come looking for her. I will keep you in my prayers that justice will prevail for your family.

This man knows he has to face a Judge for the damage he has done to your daughter and you. He knows prison bars are looming and already feels in a prison (a prison of guilt because he is guilty and shame because what he did was shameful) of which will be no escape. On the other hand the bars of guilt and shame he imprisoned your daughter with during those 8 years will one day be no more. To him his future has no meaning. On the other hand you and your daughter have the rest of your lives together. Life will still hold wonderful moments for you both. The shadow of what has happened will only serve as a reminder of where you have been together and will not direct where you are heading.

I hope for the best outcome for your health

So sorry that you and your daughter and his step daughter are have to deal with this issue. At least he has been in jail and at least he will have to go before a judge. I am praying that your lung is okay and that you keep your head above water through this. What a nightmare. Stay strong and surround yourself with caring individuals during your time of need. Keep loving and protecting your daughter as much as you can. At least she found the strength to tell you and you believed her. That will help her to mentally and emotional down this long road of healing. May you find the strenght from within to keep going! Hugs!