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My Daughter Was Molested By Her Stepfather

I feel so broken right now. I have been married for 8yrs, I have a daughter from a previous relationship. She was 8 when I met him. I swore when I had my daughter that if anyone ever hurt her I would kill them. I was sexually abused by my father, I remember being in diapers when he touched me. It all makes me sick, I feel numb, confused, hate for the world My daughter is now 17 and me and this man have 2 kids together a 7yr old girl and a 1yr old boy. Just this monday 6/4/12 at 9:45pm while I was washing dishes with my 1yr old at my side, my so called husband was in the girl's room the 7yr old on the top bunk and 17yr old was on the bottom bunk, and he crossed the line and touched her. I feel so stupid, blindsided, hurt, disgusted!!!! What did I do to deserve this kind of life, What have I done to my kids, How can I get them thru this???? All I see if a future of sadness. I know it will get better because I have been thru it but right now, this very moment I feel hopeless.
msolis2422 msolis2422 36-40, F 3 Responses Jun 7, 2012

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The only was is to get justice!

hi, you dont know me and I do not know you, but the exsprience you are dealing with, I am for sure we have much more in common then just two women who not only were both molested at a young age, but the outlook of a person molesting our children was and is both our worst nightmares, now as I tell you what I did as a result to my own loss of innonce to try to guard my own children please remember how it felt to hear the words "your child has been touched" like a knife shoved into my heart, I couldnt breath and aniexty took over felt like a heart attack, this is because I never left my children with anyone ever, no babysitters no one but my mother, dads wife and their father strickly out of fear of them being hurt, well I was married at a young age 19 and pregnant when I said I do, I still kept guard of anything, but I never addressed my own molest and as a result, in the middle of a divorce due to to this day I am not quite sure how to word it, but assumed I was never enough for him, and forgave many many times cheating, and lies that never made since, I guess the only way to explain my life for 14 years would be "chaotic" and never stable, I finally had enough and filed for the divorce on 10/29/10 and thought that will be best for us all, he could be a better, supportive, role model he just needed some parenting classes and I myself needed some counseling to help our children get through our divorce, well I was wrong, as slowly threats were made and me and my 4 children ended up in a domestic violence shelter and to shorten this as much as I can, one by one insest of my children was revieled and MY WORLD SHATTERED! Today all my children have been taken from me for failure to protect from something I WOULD OF KILLED FOR and I am still curently married to a "child molester" as he left state before our divorce could finalize and cps is offering him services while all my children have stated and been with a counselor for over a year now that they were molested by their father, my 16,14,12,6 year old all were and while they were molested they in turn did things to one another and I am now 2 yrs after hints,anger, and life threatening behaviors, and many other counselors for my children from day one of my divorce, as all the children were very upset, nightmares, self inflicting harm and just all around scary behaviors, which I assumed to be mine and their fathers divorce so counseling was where I placed them to help them process the family ending as far as mom and dad, but that was not what was hurting my babies so deep and soon secrets were exsposed and my life ended for what I thought was going to be better for us all turned to no way in hell will he ever go near my babies again not before they if ever want to speak to him, but for now no way! Cps is trying to ***** me of my rights and I am fighting so the reason for telling you this is because I understand I really do, and the only thing I can say is do not let something that was out of your control ruin you, fight back the hate and the anger it will ruin you, and when your ready forgive yourself, and in time maybe you will see you and your kids are worth standing tall and walk through it all! Just do not make the same mistake many do and listen to i am sorry or it wont happen again, cut ties and start healing the little girl who got hurt first You, this will open your eyes to so much it does hurt but it heals. Good luck dear!

Don't give up. You have to use what you learned from your personal experience to help your children through this. The old saying, "Keep your chin up." sounds like a bunch of crap right now, but that is what you have to do. There is always light at the end of the tunnel. By what you have written, I don't know much of the details, but it seems like you will put an end to any abuse that may have occured. I am praying for God to give you strength. You have suffered enough and I pray that you are stong enough to go through this. Life is never easy. I have had my fair share of suffering as well. I don't understand why I always have to be tested when I see others that were born with a silver spoon and have never experienced true pain. God only knows. Praying for you and your children.