My husband molested my two eldest daughters. A near -perfect life destroyed for reasons i still cannot believe. The betrayals are countless now and I still am trying to heal. Praise God my daughters appear to have healed and moved forward into sucessful lives. My wounds are deep and I feel less stable today than 8 years ago when I first discovered it.

paoq paoq
51-55, F
10 Responses May 19, 2009

i know they may appear to have gotten over it, but i assure you they are not...

Once a week for tberapeutic they will feel safe with me again. Im just glad they made their voice heard, and we got d rid of the dark cloud..ill keepas

find a freind to talk to is best the pain never goes away for me as a child<br />
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no reason to blame your self as unless some one says somthing and you did not know the signs i bet

I xan relate to this, as I am in the middle if my case still fresh...i tried to resolve things on my own, which is NEVER the right way. I ended up on top of the hurt if knowing ny boyfriend did this to my daughters, by not tellinwerg on my own they were put in protective custody, along with their youngdaer sister. My boyfriend theboyfriend was the father of my youngest daughter, which made it hurt that much more. He is in jail, and I see my kids o

Only kid to get my parents presents*

Madlisa - I think it is a process. At first it is all I thought about and dreamed about. Things I asked myself over and over..... "How could a human give such torture to a child? Why did he do it? How did I not see the signs? Why didn't my daughter tell me after the 1st time it happened?" I asked a million other questions over and over and over. Eventually through much therapy I learned to pass those questions that may never be answered to God. I was brought up in church and believed. However in the beginning I doubted the man upstairs b/c I couldn't believe he would allow a child to go through this if he really existed. See I questioned Him when I should have been turning my problems over to him.<br />
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I think people care but they feel awkward or don't know how to handle such tragedy. I cried often and couldn't look at my daughter without crying at times. I didn't want her to be away from me, but yet I didn't want her to witness my sadness all the time. I did allow my best friends to watch my daughter for a few hours at a time so that I could just go home and crawl in my bed to cry. It was awful. I don't think you ever get used to the news, but I think you learn how to harness your emotions over time. Time is a healer of certain things. I don't think a victim ever gets over being molested, I think some of them learn to cope in their own way. <br />
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Sometimes I feel like a victim even though my daughter is the victim. We try to take on all of the blame, burdens and healing attempts. Earlier in my daughters case, I wish someone had told me that you will look back on this time in your life and be so proud of yourself for all that you have done for your daughter. I was so frustrated and felt like no one cared and nobody was doing anything to help unless they were being paid. Therapist & PI's were being paid so they had a financial investment to the case. The detective and policemen would be paid for being an officer whether they gave a toot or not. I learned that what matters most is that I CARE and that I am, have and will take action to insure my daughters mind, body and soul are protected.<br />
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You care and you are doing something. That is more than some mothers have done. Some mom's don't believe their husbands, boyfriends or friends would do such a horrific act to a child. Some mother's believe molestation should be silenced and no one should talk about it. I say let the children of this world be heard and maybe all of these creeps will have a more challenging time luring their next victims. I believe everyone eventually pays for their sins. I can live with knowing that what goes around comes around.

I to understand One thing i know is i feel knowone cares how i feel i cry all the time for you and my daughter and everyone who lives with this in thier mind i cant get it out of my head

I feel your pain. My ex-husband molested our daughter. I learned about it when she was almost 4. I was totally horrified and didn't know what to do or who I could trust. You never anticipate this sort of thing and it takes a long time to get past it. I hope you have been in therapy. I have released a lot of the anger to have a little peace in my life. It was a difficult road, but what helped me the most was to realize that it wasn't my fault. When I knew what was happening I took actions to protect my child. I feel for you and I hope you are doing well today.

I understand what you are going through, because my two older daughers were molested too. I still have a rough time dealing with the thought that he could hurt his own blood in that way. My heart goes out to you,

big issu to forgive<br />
can be a big challenge,.<br />
encourage yourself and may want to help other (lots) who are in similar conditions!

I'm sorry. I know that this type of experience is hard. I went through something simerlar, it wasn't my daughter (don't have) that my exfiancee molested. (a 6 year old) But when I found out that he was molesting children, I just didn't know what to think. I mostly hated myself, for not realizing it was happening.<br />
I just try not to think about it, unless someone needs to talk about it. I don't want to think about it.