Oldest Child Syndrome
I am 6 years older than my younger sister. I spent a long time being the only child. Then my mother married and had my sister. Besides being the oldest, I also felt left out. There was my mom, my stepdad and my sister, one whole family, and me. I felt like the left over baggage from a bad relationship. My mother had a bad childhood and was the youngest. As a result she always related to my sister and never even tried to grasp my needs or wants. On top of that, my mother had sever bi-polar. She was in and our of the Pscyh ward through out my growing up. With my stepdad working nights I was often the care giver to my sister. I was given much responsiblity and was severly punished for any infractions, large or small.
Now my younger sister does nothing. She does not do any chores. She is disrespectful. She straight out tells my mother "no". I can never remember one time telling my mother no. I knew better because the punishment would have been severe. My sister is clingy and needy. She is 15 years old and you would NEVER know it by her immature demeanor.
My mother and I have had a lot of problems. We recently talked some of them through. However the chip on my shoulder is still there. I would have thought that talking with her about it would have made me feel better, but it really hasn't. I still have such bitterness and resentment because of it, among other issues with her.
I am all grown up. Moved out. Married. No children yet, but regardless I am on my own. Yet I still can not let this go. i don't know how to let go of this burden and it is really eating away at me. I am moving very far away in a few months and I feel like if we don't resolve this before I leave than we never will. She seems willing to resolve it, and as much as I want to I just can't let go of it. Any advice would be appreciated.