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I Am the Only Daughter

Black Sheep

By: DopeyGirl
Written on January 8th, 2010

I am the only daughter.

I have a brother and a step-brother, both younger.

Turns out my family had no use for female progeny. If we lived in a more barbaric society, my father would have placed me in a bag of some sort, weighted it down with rocks and thrown it into the river. To this day, I fight to maintain my self-esteem (which isn't terribly high to begin with) after speaking to him because I'm always "too fat" (at 125 pounds, really??) or "too irresponsible" (because I forgot to call him after I picked something up for him).

I know now that I will never be good enough for my parents, and that's an issue with which I struggle daily. All I want is to be able to be myself and be happy and be loved by the people that brought me into the world--it's not like I asked to be born.

By: DopeyGirl
Age: 31-35 , Female
335 people have read this story

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1 response
  • caffenoir
    caffenoir

    I just read your post today, and I must say that you are better off without them. The best gift you can give yourself is to leave. Live and work on the other side of town, or better yet, do so in a different state or country. It says in the Christian Bible to honor thy father and mother, but you can do that afar. Light a candle for them; say a prayer, and then live your life to your goals and to your happiness.



    There are so many new people out there, waiting to get to know you and be your friend. You may even find a new set of parents and brothers/sisters in a pseudo type of family. Take it from someone who started over. I have sisters that are not of blood relation, as well as a couple of "moms".



    Sure I think of the family I was born in, and I do not miss them that much. They were too much into themselves to love or to give to others. You will find that the longer you are away from your own family that your self-esteem will get better and you will gain a healthier confidence in yourself because you find you can do things without them.



    Good luck with your life and your new endeavors. Just remember you are better off without them. They are the ones very lucky and blessed to have you in their life. It was never vice versa.



    Blessings and with love,

    caffenoir

    Jul 11, 2012
    1 like