Finding Love In All The Wrong Places

For the first time in my life, I have fallen for a man that has a longtime girlfriend. I have met her. And hugged her. I don't know if she knows that we are so close, but I know it and it has been crushing me. All I can think about is that he does not seem to care about anyone but him, but I can't seem to stop myself from being around him. I want to, and have tried several times, but maybe, I am just that selfish as well. We have not had sex in three months, but we spend crazy amounts of time together. I know that he is not leaving his girlfriend today, so I don't know what I am waiting around for, or why I stay, since I am hurting myself so badly. I don't know what I am doing. I just want to be rid of this weight that is on my chest.
timemovemeon timemovemeon
26-30
3 Responses Jul 11, 2010

thanks guys for your comments. @pool79, sometimes i think i am in love with him, i have written that in my journal, but i could never bring myself to say that to him, or admit it to friends or anything like that. <br />
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@geesh i have gotten myself into this mess and i have no idea how to get the hell out of it. and it sucks.<br />
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@webmster- all i want is a good guy who likes me and wants to be with me. and even though there are many fish in the sea, it is SO hard to find that!<br />
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i just want to be done with him.<br />
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thanks again for the comments

i understand the weight on your chest. your story is very much like mine. the weight on your chest is the thought that he may someday want to be with you. you have to let go of that thought. i am having a hard time as well. even after i know what a liar and jerk he is. and even knowing that if i were actually with him, i could never really trust him. <br />
be strong. you have to take care of yourself. thoughts control our emotions. change your thoughts to you being a strong and independent woman that does not need him or want him even if he didnt have a girlfriend.

so are you in love with him?