The Beginning

 When I was twenty I broke up with my only ex of eight months while overseas in Mongolia in 2008. I was mad in love with this man, I had let him into my heart and I still fight the urge to contact him. Well sadly it was only one sided, he's become engaged twice and now has a baby on the way with one of his ex fiances. I on the other hand made my new years resolution to be single for a year and to be abstinent.

 So I came home from Mongolia in April of 2009, everything was fantastic. There was absolutely nothing that could rain on my parade. At one point I went into the local 7-Eleven to visit a friend of mine and in walks a very average looking man and being the overly flirty woman that I was I told him we couldn't sell him gasoline. After a bit of talking he went outside to fill up his tank and I went out to my car which was parked in front of his. When I walked out we exchanged phone numbers.

 A couple days later he texted and asked if I wanted to me up after work. When he arrived at the resturant he'd just gotten off work and was still wearing his dress pants, dress shirt and tie. Ties always do it for me. Anyway. we went to a resturant and the first thing he says to me is, "I have a girlfriend, I just want to be upfront with you." At the time that was fine with me. We'd just met, and although we hit it off really well I wasn't willing to be in another relationship. After that we made plans to go putt putt golfing but I backed out because I was more interested in dancing at the club then going out with a guy who I was supremely attracted to who was already attatched to someone else.

In May I was sexually assaulted, I pressed charges but the guy disappeared. This wasn't the first time it happened but as with the previous time I just shoved it to the back of mind, buried it if you will. And in order to move forward my best friend at the time suggested we go to watch her boyfriend's band play. I agreed and called 7-Eleven man to come with. He was surprised but pleased to hear from me and agreed. We had a really nice time and he never flirted with me and acted the complete gentleman. However when he dropped me off he got out to hug me goodbye and the hug lasted a little longer the neccessary so he pulled back and said, "Okay, no hugs lasting longer than thirty seconds." I was pretty amused and added it to the list we'd started at the resturant.

 A couple weeks later I found out I was pregnant. I was devasted. But I chose to keep the baby. After about a month 7-Eleven man contacted me and asked if I'd like to come over a play video games, we're both pretty avid nerds. We're playing for awhile and for some reason kissing comes up and he states he's an amazing kisser, "I make girls knees weak." I kept saying prove it or shut up. But he just kept saying it so I jumped on him and started kissing him. Yeah, all we did that night was makeout like teenagers, and he definitely did make my knees weak. The following week he asked if I'd come play video games again. After about thirty minutes of playing we started making out and fell into his bed. Of course I'd chosen to wear a skirt. . . brilliant right? Well I wanted him, so I waited for him to say no, or stop, but he didn't and we had sex. When it was getting close I told him, don't worry I can't get pregnant. Later that night he asked me why and I said, because I was raped and now I'm pregnant. He responded with, "If I could be God for one day." Which damn near about made me cry. I was afraid he'd never speak to me again . . . But as it stands he's been dating his girlfriend for close to four years which doesn't include the on and off during highschool and he's been seeing me for almost a year and a half. My daughter has been born and he's great with her . . . and just recently I've realized what a mess I've gotten myself into.

 . . . . To Be Continued

BeneathBeauty BeneathBeauty
18-21, F
1 Response Aug 3, 2010

Its hard. But be strong and make the right choice for yourself.