I Am The Other Woman

I have been the other woman for going on 6 years now. I love him so much and trust him with all my heart. He promises me that he will end his relationship and build a life with me but for the first time I am starting to doubt him. I feel so conflicted everyday. I can't imagine my life without him. No one has ever impacted my life as much as him. I feel so alone though because no one understands or has sympathy for the other woman. I am not heartless, I feel horrible for his girlfriend and I feel guilty when I think about it. But you can't help how you feel and him and I love each other.
Lisha1027 Lisha1027
6 Responses Mar 29, 2011

kerrieswoman - Thank you for this, really. Up until now (because I am new to EP), I have only heard these words from him. I really helps to hear it from someone else. I think you're right, I've come all of this way and we're almost there. If I want to spend the rest of my life with him, I need to know I can trust and believe in him. I may as well show him that now and hang on.

kerrieswoman - no, he has never said he wants to end things with me. I guess your question made me think about it and he was saying that he just needs some space. I have put so much pressure on him to speed up the process that he snapped. Today we spoke and he told me that he hasn't changed his mind about anything, he still is moving forward to being with me. He said he is just asking me to "resign from the planning committee" and to let him do this. He has consistently told me that I should let him do this so that I would never question whether he did this on his own or if it was because I made him do it. I think part of it is that I am trying to sabatoge it, because I'm so afraid of him leaving me that maybe I'm trying to justify leaving him on my terms. Thank you for your response, it's so helpful knowing that I'm not the only one going through this right now. Are you able to be in your relationship without pressuring him? What makes you confident that he really will be there in the end?

My MM of almost 5 years left me today. He did finally file for a divorce, but this process has killed him and he has decided to step back and re-think everything - which means, the promises he made to me, the confident assurances that he repeated to me over and over to make sure I would stay, meant nothing. I believe that he loves me. But not enough to have a real life with me. I don't know how I will get through this, but at least I finally know.

Are you sure he loves you? If he isn't willing to leave his wife, then he probably isn't telling you the truth about his relationship with her. And if he is doing it to her...

Just like you i have been involved with a taken man for six years as well. Mine has been seperated and moved out for the last three years. Took him three years to leave and still no divorce. So like me I'm sure you've heard every excuse in the book lol. Even though he's not married I'm sure he has his excuses why he can't or won't leave her. Trust me when I say your not alone and I'm sorry you feel so bad. The only advice I have for you is... Don't let yourself get consumed with this man. Dont lose yourself in him. Stay true to yourself after all they were attracted to us because of who we were when they met us. I wish you the best of luck, hang in there.

Is this what life is about? I just don't think we are meant to be with one person our whole lives- but people want to possess us and just be with us. I have fallen for many people and continue to love them even after we break up. They are beautiful people which is why I let them enter my life to begin with! And does it just come down to the sex that confuses everything??? Why do we limit ourselves to only love one person?!