The Unthinkable

i never thought i would ever tell anyone this let alone post it to a website but it feels good to let it out . I am 26 married to a 33 yr old and i have 2 boys i have been very unhappy in my marriage for about 2 of the 3 yrs though we have been together for 6 and i honestly dont know how . my marriage consist of emotional physical and mental abuse and lack of sex(my husbands fault) so this leaves me sexual frustrated no self esteem and just longing to feel important needed loved hell feel like to someone i matter .
i always had the notion in the back of my head that it would be nice to find someone that could give me the love and attention that i craved and sexually could knock me off my feet but i could never imagine ever doing such a thing it was always just a thought .
and so this is how it began i go into work one day and there is a buzz about this new para and have i seen him word is he is pretty hot and all the ladies at work are mad about him, i take one look at him from afar and yes he is attractive my first thought , he is tall and build( a body builder to be exact) we made eye contact i smile and go back to my conversation. two days later we are informally introduced by a coworker i smile and shake his hand and that was that i didnt think anything else of him at all . throughout the week i would catch him staring at me but i never paid him any mind and then i picked up on the flirting but i never sent any back he would tell me things like he thought about me over the weekend but hes not going to tell me what and its funny when i think back over this i cant believe i never paid it any mind this went on for a week or so he was coming at me . finally one day just being playful not being serious at all i call him over and i say to him you should invite me to lunch because if you did i would say yes and walked off . i felt so liberated here i was flirting and it felt so good the look on his face made me feel so sexy i was him again later that day and he says to me so what about next week and i say well we should exchange numbers and set things up . we have been talking ever since that day 6 mo ago and what a whirl wind it has been keep in mind all the girls at work are hot for him and there are rumors of him and my arch enemy sleeping together simply because she throws herself at him but have no fear there not true just people at work talkin talk any way to wrap things up it started with texting back in forth then the kiss we had not had sex at all until this month he wanted to take things slow with me he is married and very unhappy as well i never thought i would ever have sex with anyone else and our first time just happen and was amazing it started with a kiss that got hot and heavy and i lost all sense of where i was i never felt like that in my life just completly in that moment and completly unaware of eveything else going on though we have only had sex three times i find my self wanting more i can barely even look at my husband all i do is think of him and all i want is him yet he doesnt text me as much and only text at work half way and it is murder trying to get time together . i know that i am his option and not his priority and i cant believe i went from not even paying him any mind to not being able to get him off my mind he told me it will get better but i dont know