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Is This The End?

It's been 2 years. I've given an ultimatum. I can't be TOW forever. He said there would be something coming by 31 March 2012. I ended all communication since. Now it has been 2 weeks.

The last was a text messageĀ on 31 March 2012 saying that he couldn't sleep and kept thinking about us. He also said that he cared for me and loved me very much (but did not mention the 31 march deadline). I told him that love is not enough. He replied that he knows and he really want to be with me.

I'm still waiting and will wait till the end of the month. If he doesn't contact me, I hope I'm strong enough to carry on with my life. I'm considering telling his mother (but not the wife) so that she knows what kind of son she has - playing around and having affairs.

The time I had with myself I spent thinking of all the things he had told me and on whether they were the truth or lies. I think he is a coward and this is a test which he failed miserably. He obviously love his family more than being with me. I was blinded....blinded by his sweet talk and kind ways.

Melsha555 Melsha555 36-40, F 5 Responses Apr 15, 2012

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Just wanted to update everyone that he sms me two weeks back and said that he couldn't move his legs and he needed me to send him to the hospital. I didnt know what to do! I really did not want to respond as in the 2 years of knowing him, he had not once asked me to send him to the hospital before. All this while he would ask his colleagues or mother (although I had on numerous occasions told him to call me).<br />
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I took half day leave from work and fetched him. Otw to the hospital he asked me what happened to us. I said he should be asking himself instead. He kept quiet. Otw back I couldnt hold back anymore. I asked him why did he call me and where are we going from here. He said he wanted to be with me and will start making preparations to be with me. <br />
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We went to the marriage registrar the following week and sought clarifications on marriage procedures. Because we are muslims, he is allowed to have two wives, me being the second. However, he would still need to seek the permission of the 1st wife to marry me. Last week, he bought an apartment. Everything is going pretty fast. This is our first step but I'm still partially convinced. We'll see

A man who is not willing to fight for you is not worth your time nor Heart!!! Nothing Came because he is incapable of giving you what you really need - a real man and not a coward con man!<br />
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Is he a mommy's little boy? LOL.. The one that loves me is one too; but I agree with the other commenter - do not tell her; revenge just adds more fuel to the fire; just leave him alone and disappear out of his life; to seek getting back at him would only make him more part of your life as he'll create more difficulties for you.<br />
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LOL I watched this one soap where this man was an ER doctor and he got threatened by the Hospital staff that he would lose his job; and he broke down crying saying to one of the nurses "My mom shouldn't find out she'll kill me" and the nurse asked "are you afraid of your mommy" and laughed at him...<br />
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Hahaha

He text me yesterday saying he feels bad for not meeting the deadline n not speaking to me for 2 weeks. He said he is stuck between his family and me. He will not force me to wait if it is too long for me, however if this is fate and i have someone else, he will accept it. He thank me for changing him to the better n said that he loved me very much n apologised again.<br />
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I did not respond because i dont see any steps/action towards being with me. Basically, he did not do anything in this 2 years and 31 march were all lies. All he did was just to put the ball back into my court! How unfair is that. Now the decision is mine n he wouldnt have to feel the guilt of ending this relationship. It's true most MM are just complacent with what they have n afraid to change. They want the best of both worlds. I'm really dissappointed with him now. How he wasted 2 years of my life.

Dont look at it as a waste...it has been a learning experience for you, as is for all of us. He has no right to ask you to wait. He claims you have changed him for the better and has thanked you?....wow..what a d*ck. And what has he done for you? Up and down emotional rollercoaster ride, being available, waiting, hoping, praying he will do what he says.

Dont tell his mother, no good will come of that. You are better than that! You are better than him. We all are!!

Stick to your guns dear. Find a good man who is available.

Tell the wife everything, then lift your head high and walk away. There marriage will survive but he will never be trusted again.

Do you think he is testing you to see if you will follow through? Be strong &amp; take care of yourself first!

Melsha- I would think long and hard before telling his mother. There is a good chance you will end up looking like the bad person. Mothers are always protective of their sons no matter what. I left my MM three days ago, I know waiting and leaving hurt like he!! but we have to be strong for ourselves. They are/were getting the best of both worlds & keeping us in limbo.

I am in a similar situation onlu I havent ever given him an ultimatum. Id hate for him to leave his family because I rushed him into making a decision that he wasnt ready to. Im afraid that he'd hate me forever and for sure, we'd never find happiness together. I'm tired of this 3yr affair or whatever it is. I love him! I do not want him to leave her for me. I wld just like him to be straight up with me and tell me what his intentions are with me. He always says that he doesnt know. WTF?? What kind of an answer is that? I guess I will never know. Im fed up. Im going to try to be strong and let go. I wish he'd just stay away instead of looking for me.

I have never asked him to leave her. It should be his decision and I wouldnt want to influence him. They are always not clear of what they want. M not sure whether it is a male thing? :) A wise person once told me to act differently then how we usually act. And that may catch them offguard. Me not talking to him for two weeks - this has never happened before. I'm hoping that he would be afraid that I'm leaving for good. If not, I'd know that I was just a nobody to him.

I have tired being different. Only to fail and give in and hold him and love on him as usual. I last saw mine on Friday night. I am going to try hard to stay away. There really is no point to what we are doing. Im more sad than happy. The only times Im happy is times that he and I are together. Men are so darn confusing. Keep me posted. Goodluck!! Stay strong.

He knows what he wants from you and that is just to abuse you if he shows no serious signs of a strong will to fight for you then he is just a bloody con making a fool out of you and loving every second of it!