What It's Like Being The Other WomanSo many of you have no idea how many of your stories I’ve read and wanted so desperately to reply. Ultimately, I wouldn’t be able to keep up. There is not ONE story I’ve yet to read which is not already written about in my book. I’ve started replying and then I stop because, after all, that is what I spent two years writing already. It’s all there and it’s too much to get out on a forum.
I’ve clicked on many of your profiles with the intent of offering you a copy of my book. But the last thing I want to do is appear to only have the intention of promoting and so I stop. I genuinely care because I've been there. To the core of my soul - I've been there.
I’ll try to summarize here, instead.
My heart breaks for each and every one of you because regardless as to how different you think your stories are, the bones are all the same.
I hurt for you because I remember the pain and even when some of you write “he’s leaving” or “he’s left” – I know your outcome. Not just because of my own story, but the hundreds of women I’ve interviewed, along with sites such as this. Each and every one of us believes our situation is “different.” The difference however, is only in the particulars.
These are the stages:
1) A harmless flirtation. Connecting. Giddy excitement to connect.
2) The moment “it” happens. Personal logic and emotion have an inner argument.
3) The convincing stage. Beautiful words. Promises. Hopeless romance. Falling in love.
4) Exposure. Inner/outer conflict (him, you, his wife, the public or all four). Tumultuous stage.
5) The games. Competition with the spouse (emotional or actual). Relationship dysfunction.
6) The decision stage. The separation. Most often back and forthing. Constant new hope and disappointment.
7) The brutal end (The affair. The marriage or both).
8) Tragic personal aftermath
9) Tragic social aftermath
10) And then those awful statistics which turn out to be very accurate.
Not one story I have read deviates. It’s like I’m looking into your crystal ball. I know. I also know that you are so hopelessly loving beyond hope and hoping you will prove everyone wrong, this will work. You are also scared s******* that it wont. I know.
I'm not saying leave him. I'm not saying stay. Each of you know your own situation (or believe you do). I'm simply telling you not to put up with excuses for too long..... or you will for far longer than you bargained. Or, eventually if he does leave you'll be too bitter for it to work anyway. In the heart and soul of a woman, lies a WOMAN. Wife or Mistress. A woman will always receive the height of what she demands/expects. As long as you tolerate/accept less than you deserve and don't trust that you deserve a whole man, you'll never have more than half.
Micalle 36-40, F 42 Responses 35 Apr 22, 2012