Love Will Tear Us Apart...

We met at a friends house party back when we were in our late teens and both pretty shy, i remember him staring at me intently and feeling some sort of electricity between us, when he looked at me it felt as though he was looking into my soul. A few months later when we'd met at several social gatherings and had a few conversations, he asked if he could come back to my house. we couldnt keep our hands off each other the second we got through my door. We had an amazing night together but when he left in the morning i realized he'd never kissed me at all while we were in bed together, hadnt told me much about his life at all, and not even left me a phone number. Despite this all seeming odd, i was desperate to see him again.
I didnt have to wait long. A few nights later he knocked on my door unannounced late at night, and although i thought that was rude, i let him in and we spent the night together. This became a regular occurance, about three times a week. He was very private and didnt give much away about his personal life, but on occasions we did have deep conversations and i really enjoyed his company. However after months and months of this behaviour i had suspicions he had a long term girlfriend he was hiding from me and i wanted him to commit to a monogamus relationship with me. He didnt seem to have any plans to do that so stupidly i went to a bar, got drunk and had a one night stand. The way i saw it, why should i be sitting at home waiting for a man who isn't even mine? Unfortunately my one night stand knew my 'man' and told him what had happened shortly afterwards. After this he refused to speak to me anymore, acting like id been the one in the wrong even though we weren't even a couple and there was lots he was hiding from me.....

A year or two went by and i started a new relationship, but my heart was never truely in it, i was still on the rebound; i still thought about 'him' all the time, even though we had no contact. I then had a baby and my partner and i settled into family life, but even then sometimes i would look at my perfect baby and think to myself 'i wish i'd had you with him.' Id even drive past his house deliberately on the way home from toddler group just to get a glimpse of him. To me it always seemed like he was the one that got away, even though we'd both moved on, i've never felt that way about anyone else but him.

Another two years down the line, we are now both a lot older and wiser, and im single again, when me and 'him' run into which other. He slips me his number, i call him that night. He comes over and we chat for hours. I ask him where he lives and if he has any kids, but dont ask about a girlfriend. Nor does he tell me about one. I know i should of asked there and then but was too scared of having to let him go again if he had said yes. So a year later he is back to staying over three times a week, our sex life is amazing and im completely in love with him. My daughter has formed a bond with him and looks forward to him coming round.

Then my friend tells me she has seen him holding hands with a woman and a child around the same age as my child. I did some digging around and found out that he has been in a relationship for two years with a woman who lives nearby and she has a child the same age as mine. i even got shown pictures of them playing happy familys together. It made me feel sick to my stomach that not only is he playing two women, he is playing stepdad to two young children and messing with their emotions as well.

For weeks after i found out this information i didnt say a word to him about it. i knew that if i confronted him that would be the end of us, theres no way can i allow him to think i will tolerate him seeing us both. i know this is the end.....im just trying to find the strength to end it. Ive tortured myself trying to find out whats so special about this girl, but as far as i can tell, we're quite alike, we look simiar, have the same taste in clothes, cook the same food for dinner, have simaliar hobbies....what does she have that i dont? My self esteem is in tatters and im heartbroken. After a few drinks the other night i was at the end of my tether and added the girlfriend on a social networking site and uploaded pictures of him so he would get found out. he turned up at my house and screamed at me to take them down then stomped out. he was seen out with the girlfriend yesterday so it looks like hes made up more lies and shes believed them, while i am left with my heart ripped to shreads. ive not heard from him and while everyone says its for the best, that doesnt help the way im feeling right now.
heartbreakgirls heartbreakgirls
26-30, F
May 19, 2012