I Am Both

My man isn't married but in a relationship for 15 years. I cheated on my husband looking for sexual release only. But this guy intrigued me. We fought the feelings for awhile, because we are both "*****". So instead we became friends, someone who understood and appreciated the honesty we had. It changed one night and now we can't get enough of each other. We ended up living together (most people think we are housemates), which has taken some of the fun out of it. The reality of bills, working, housekeeping, and jealousy can bring us down.
I have talked to his girlfriend, putting on a award winning acting role, and she told me when she went through menopause she lost interest in sex. They go out to the bar together and he helps her around her house.
My husband and I were together 16 yrs. Along with life's hardships, he lost the zest for the fun in life. Left alone too much I found my own entertainment. We were already sleeping in separate bedrooms so it was easy to sneak in at 5 am. I had it down, I was good. I reationalized it all. When I met my guy, it all changed. I wanted to be with him only.
I am not divorced yet and am having problems completing the process. I still consider my husband a friend and talk to him at least once a week.
It's weird, we both are having emotional relationships with someone else. We all know about each other and must know what is going on with the other. As long as everyone stays in their place, everyone gets along. Even our animals get along. Lol
In private he calls me his girlfriend, but I feel more like a fwb.
As long as I'm not at risk for a sickness, it all works for me. I love him but another marriage not in my future . He treats me well and with respect. And after a year we still enjoy each other. I never thought I'd be keeping this dirty little secret for so long. And that's the only down side.
Badina Badina
46-50, F
2 Responses May 19, 2012

your post should read" i am a gold digger", in search of men to live off. i don't work and i like to cheat.

your cheating is disgusting. you might catch a disease. only filthy animals cheat. you should get a divorce and find a job.