The Side Chick

A friend of mine I use to be close with found me on FaceBook two years ago. She ditched me after I had my son (as did All my friends) and wanted to reconnect. Still same old story with her pushing me away because I couldnt hang out bc I had tot ake care of my son. Well, back in December she contacted me telling me shes getting married only being with the guy for four months. She was telling me this because I'm a makeup artist & she wanted me to do makeup for her. I told her my price & said ok. A month later i got an instant message on Facebook from a guy saying "Hi Sister in Law". It was her groom to be speaking to me so we started to chat. I hadnt benn with a guy or spoken to a guy in 18months & the convo was great. It was just casual talk at first then the flirting came. He then asked if you ever wanted to talk to me about anything do u want my number. I told him I didnt want any drama & he understand. I got wrapped up in how great it felt to actually have a guy that I could talk to. Then my friend called me wanting me to meet her fiance because now she's referring to me as her sister. Before the meet I asked him if he wanted to meet earlier & have lunch with me. He agreed & said how nervous he would be. When we met up he couldnt stop staring at me. He told me how beautiful I was & how he hadnt smiled like this in a minute with fiance'. He then spilled the beans & told me how he is a swinger. So that's why it didnt bother him meeting me. Kinda like he had a school yard crush on me. Then before you know it he told me he wants to have "fun" before he gets married & wanted it to be with me. At first I was hesistate because of my friend would be crushed if she found out but all she was concerned with is me being her beck & call. When I needed something she was to busy with him but I had to run for her when she needed something. I guess thats y it didnt bother me when I said yes & we got togehter. Feelings started getting stronger then we told each other that we loved each other. Now here is the killer part, when I told him how I felt about wanting us to be together since they were constatly fighting, he told me he loves me but he's getting married. Then the kicker, i still care for him & want to c him as much as possible before wedding in a few weeks. I know I sound desperate but no other guys have been coming my way.
hotwnphat33 hotwnphat33
3 Responses May 24, 2012

Unfortunately honey, yes you are indeed the other woman. I'm not here to judge you because I too am human & have made mistakes in my life as well...but I'll tell you the story of how my ex did to me with his other woman. Well, here goes...Ricky & I had been together for about 3years when I'm guessing it started, that's when he seemed to change. Like any couple we had our problems, we argued over dumb **** like it was his turn to vacuum the rug, do the dishes, etc. (we lived together) but his whole demeanor towards me seemed to have change over the course of a few weeks, maybe a month. So one night he went out with his brothers & was going to stay the night at his parents house, so I got myself ready for a night of Netflix & Sims3. As I open up my laptop I notice that he left his Facebook open (& I've never been the type of girl to go thru someone's accounts, phone, etc.) & to my surprise the message between him & his ex co-worker popped up (so I read what they were writing each other because he was supposed to be out with his bros.) To my surprise they were planning to meet up (apparently he was messaging her from an app on his phone), have sex & she would take him out & buy him stuff. I was enraged, hurt & felt all around betrayed, so instead of acting mature I lashed out on his account saying all his **** would be outside when he got back, I was gonna change the locks & that she was a trifling *** home wrecking hoe...definitely not my finest hour, but hey I was lashing out in anger because I was hurting. Next thing you know he starts blowing up my phone & I tell him to go live with her & hang up on him. Long story short, we broke up & I ended up taking his sorry *** back because I was dumb, naive, scared of being alone & thought that he really loved me & just made a mistake...little did I know! So long story short, he proposed to me that Christmas. Then about 4 months later he told me that same woman was 7 months pregnant with his kid & he begged me to stay with him...I had way more than enough of his lying & cheating, I was beyond done & told him to go be with her after I smacked his face. I guess she got what she wanted after all was said & done, but even though he was all hers, he continued to contact me via Facebook, emails, texts, etc. Which eventually led to her harassing me because he was clearly doing what he had done to me, to her now...little did she know, it definitely wasn't with me. Basically, what I'm trying to get across to you is if he'll hurt her, what makes you think he won't do it to you too? Moral of the story is "if it's built on a lie, it's sure to fall" Please honey, learn to love & respect yourself enough to know that you deserve better than to be his #1, #2 or #3...instead of being a number make sure you're the only one. I did, now I'm happily married to a wonderful, faithful, loving man & we have a beautiful daughter.


it doesn't sound like she was much of a friend but that shouldn't justify what you're doing in your own mind. You have to judge for yourself, but it sounds to me like you're good enough to mess around with but he'd still spend the rest of his life with her.