The Saga Continues...So here I am just a couple of weeks (i think) after ending my emotional affair with a married man. I speak to people on here who are in a similar situation to myself. The support they have given me is incredible and I don't think I could of done it without them. It is so hard to explain how I'm feeling, in one sense I feel elated that I am finally free from this affair. The fact that I did it for the right reasons can only make me stronger. I'm trying not to hate myself for the pain I have caused yet that is easier said than done. I don't know I guess I just feel alone, sad and miserable that I don't have him to comfort me anymore. Yet I shouldn't be second best to anyone. I may be young but I am mature for my age and this wasn't just a crush.
Well the last couple of days have been full of drama. In less detail his wife basically have him two options, fire me or walk out of their house and never go back. Lucky for me he cannot fire me as I have been there for eight years. So he had no choice but to leave his house, and the first thing he did was come running to me. Yes I felt guilty and I felt it was my responsibility to offer him my spare room however continue to not have an affair with him. However after talking to a good friend on here I decided that, that was not the best option, it could only make matters worse. So after my day in London for work reasons I decided to fly off to Paris for the day and night. (Sunday) Paris is a great escape
For me and made me see things more
Today (Tuesday) I went into work acting as professionally as I normally do. To my surprise him and his wife spent the whole day in our office. It was incredibly uncomfortable, however this women has a right to hate me as I do myself. As soon as his wife left to go get coffee he rushed to talk to me, he said that he is sorry for ignoring me all day but he wouldn't be a man if he didn't try to make his marriage work. And then he went on to express his love for me.
I think I can finally say I am done, a man doesn't play with a woman's emotions in such a devastation way, he doesn't go hot and cold on a woman he declares to love. One minute he's telling me he would loose everything to be with me even though I never asked him too and then the next he's telling me we never had a future due to our age difference. Sorry for the rant guys I guess you don't know someone's true colours untill faced with a difficult situations. But now I know that I definatly have to move on, I am not willing to wait for him and I deserve to be someone's number ones in life.
We shall see what continues as I have two more days at work. Thankyou for listening.
Seekingadvise 22-25, F 6 Responses 1 Jun 12, 2012