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My Mother Is The Other Woman...

When I was 8 my parents separated and she immediately was in another relationship. She left my dad on the grounds that she suspected him of cheating. and maybe he was. but now 15 years later she is still in a relationship with her lover.

his name is bill. he is now married. that didn't stop them. shortly after his marriage they were back at it again. she caught him using inline profiles to find other ladies. they broke up. i held her as she cried and told her enough is enough. this year they are at it again. because he no longer lives with his wife it makes it okay? because he bought you a boat and other things, this makes it okay? I am starting to realize that bill is not the problem. she has manipulated her children into thinking he is scum but immediately chooses him over us when given the chance. she lies to us. her life is a sad thing to be a part of. why would you put yourself through this? why would you put up with all the hurt that has come of this? how to i tell her much this makes her look like a tramp? it is like her living alone for the last 5 years has caused her to sit back and judge everyone else rather then looking at herself and her own life. i always looked up to my mom, but now i kind of hate her.
spaceygracey spaceygracey 22-25, F 7 Responses Aug 22, 2012

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I wish her to think more highly of herself

i am sorry to hear it God give you calm and true love mean right man

She is not a tramp she is a poligamist..... She is lying to her self but that does not change the facts........if she were honest she would just accept it and then he could do what is natural to him and she could share him and have a sister instead of being TOURMENTED BY SOCIETYS BOUGOUS TABOOZ

I think he might be, but she (the mom) sounds pretty sad with it all. Poly is cool for the right people; I have some friends it works really well for and they have a really strong bond. But sometimes a DOG is just a dooooog ;-)

totally true. I think poly isn't for MOST ppl. its the rare few that it works for. but they can't do it in sleazy way either. and you really shouldn't force poly on ppl where it makes them break.

so sorry you have to go through this. my mom was the other woman too

Awww... this is sad for all of you.... I feel for anyone who doesn't believe that they are worth more; she obviously has some devastating self esteem issues that she hasn't explored. <br />
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You've asked some solid questions in this write up. Sometimes no matter what we say, we can't help people look at themselves, which is truly what they need to do. What we can take from that, however, is how we do NOT want to be ourselves and take steps so that we wont be:<br />
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"Experience is a hard teacher because she gives the test first, and the lesson afterwards"<br />
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Hang in there :-)

love your response, and thank you.

You are most welcome. You're an insightful girl :)

I feel sorry for you and your mom. She needs to get help, she has attached herself to someone who in reality is only causing her harm, but she can't see it that way, even though she feels the pain when they break up. She has fixated on him because he loved her when she felt unloved by your father. I hope she can get the help she needs and I hope you can someday mend the break in your relationship.<br />
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It's truly a shame that you have had to suffer because of her addiction to this person. My thoughts and prayers go out to you and her.<br />
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Take care.

no worries, and thank you. i have moved on with my life. i to hope she can get over this, but she has had all the support in the world. it is, in the end, up to her.

I can feel the hurt in your words. Your mother has missed out on a great daughter.

i just want her to be happy, and this relationship does not make her happy. she has always said her children are her everything and her actions speak very differently. i just wish she could be honest with herself more then anything. thank you for your kind words.

Bummer. Younger children take this hardest. At this point in life I put no one else ahead of my spouse: not even myself. I had to learn the hard way; but I did learn

i have accepted that my parents are not superheroes from a young age. that they have issues like everyone else. only issue is they seem to create a lot of their own problems and now that i am an adult it feels like everything they once taught, any foundation, has be demolished by who they are now.