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I Can't Believe It... I Actually Left

If you read my last story, you will know that I was the "other woman" in my last relationship. Yes, last. I finally got it all together and I left him. When it came down to it, I finally just said, "Its me or her. I can't live like this anymore." And he begged me not to go and just said he needed time and that he loved me and same ol' same ol'. But I did it! I am so proud of myself. I am with a new guy now and he is so good to me. He treats me like a princess and he ALWAYS puts me first. I never have to feel like I'm on the back burner. Trust me girls, if you are with a married man, leave him. You will be SO much happier. I didn't believe that until now. I honestly loved him (my married ex) and I suppose a part of me always will, but I think I'm doing very well and it gets easier every day. I'll keep you guys posted.

fuego fuego 18-21 36 Responses Jul 6, 2008

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congratulations on finding your self-respect and self-worth.

It's a great feeling, isn't it? Congrats on your newfound strength and happiness...been there, done that, and sooo much better off now! *Hugs*

One word: kids.

Were there kids? If so, you can also feel fantastic about NOT having a huge role in the messing-up of their value systems. Now they MAY still get messed-up -- but at least it wasn't YOU who did it.

Personally, I'm really sick of human adults not giving a dang about the KIDS. It's incredibly selfish to not kick some butt and get to work FIXING your wobbly & weak marriage.

So proud of you. Keep it up. You deserve to be happy without hurting anybody. GOD bless you.

I'm NOT a girl I'm a woman.& because of that If I ever dated anyone who was married I'D GET THE PROOF OF IT RIGHT AWAY & MAKE THE PROOF PUBLIC SO HIS WIFE WOULD FIND OUT FOR SURE.THEN SHE COULD STAY OR LEAVE.THAT'S WHAT ANGELINA JOLIE DID WHEN SHE DATED BRAD PITT.SHE MADE NO SECRET OF HER RELATIONSHIP WITH BRAD PITT.JENNIFER ANISTON FOUND OUT ABOUT BRAD PITT'S INFIDELITY.SHE DIVORCED HIM & HE WAS FREE TO BE WITH ANGELINA JOLIE.NOW BRAD PITT & ANGELINA JOLIE ARE TOGETHER.WHAT I HAVE DESCRIBED TO YOU IS THE ONLY CIVIL,FAIR WAY OF DEALING WITH SUCH A SITUATION.IT'S WHAT A STRONG INTELLIGENT WOMAN WOULD DO.IT'S NOT WHAT A SUBMISSIVE WEAK STUPUID LITTLE GIRL WOULD DO.:REMAIN SILENT.

These are stories I need to read over and over....words of truth....thankyou

Glad that you have left him. I'm on the midst of gathering my courage to leave him. It's just that we are working in the same company make it difficult for him to get out of my sight. All of us here is pretty sure that a new guy with no binding would definitely treat is better than the married one. Cheers to no more staring at phone waiting for him to text, no more lonely Holidays.

Good job :)

way to go girl. Married men that cheat are nothing but no good liars and want the best of both worlds.

Good for you.

thats wonderful! hope everything goes well for you <br />
xoxo

Well, you've done the right thing finally. So many woman are clueless about love. Believe me, if a man loves you, he would not put you in a hurtful relationship. If a man doesn't love you, he will use you for as long as he can get away with it.<br />
<br />
Love and respect go hand in hand. Making you the other woman is about as far from respect as you can get.

well if you are married to a cheating husband he doesn't respect you either,

I'm sorry women, but many men will claim to love you but in reality are just using you for sex. a chunk of percentage of cheating-married men think with their dicks and do not want to lose their extra hump on the weekend. <br />
If that cheating-man really loves you, he would do anything in his power to be by your side. He will not wait another month, year, decade to "make his decision."<br />
Girls, also realize that out of THOSE men, there is a slight chance your MM that ends up with you will also cheat on you in the future as well. <br />
<br />
I am talking honesty. Of experience. and of hearing other women talk about this. <br />
Stop letting yourself get hurt and put your foot down girls!

well done and all best wishes for your new life

Good for you. I am proud of anybody who can let go a MM after a time. I give you alot of credit to end it. I am still trying after being with one for more than 20 years. To all of you out there, GET OUT AS SOON AS YOU CAN when you know he will not leave. It's going to be hell to end it. I'm still in hell and I broke it off 6 months ago. Nobody seems to be able to help me. All the conventional things like: psychologist, psychics, friends, family, books, internet, etc. etc. My mind and heart just doesn't want to conmmunicate. It's just costing me alot of money that I just don't have.

This is the saddes part. We are looked at as the bad people, and yet it was love that drove us, the MM had other intentions, using was on top of the list. I am so sad for you....I can't imagine a life of these feelings, and 30 years is a long time. I did join meetup groups, they are all over areas in US. Try them, you may not be able to tell your store (or maybe you will) but there are a lot of fine people out there, and they will be your freinds. Thats really it for recovery, keep busy, and make many freinds, that has been a great help for me through these trying times. I am 59 and doing my first running marathon. It hasn't been easy, but it keeps me focused and only when i wake up or late at night, I feel the pain....one day, that may be gone.

You are so strong and brave. I wish I was like you. Involved with MM for 28 years finally ended it still having trouble. It's been 6 months and I still can't let him go

He was never your "married ex" - he was busy using you for sex and companionship all the while going back to his happy little home.<br />
<br />
Don't fool yourself into thinking otherwise.

ah he wouldn't be cheating if he loved and respected his wife also and believe me that can't be a happy home.

You clearly don't know what marriage is then lol

that's great that you had the courage to stay away. i try to and only stay away for two months. now i'm confuse and feel like i have no one to talk to.

What about us guys i had this MW that we knew for 10+years we had a connection about a year ago and i was almoast divorced to be with her and she chickened out she left me at the althar heartbroken but i still love her with all my heart i'm the only one that can take her to places that she never knew existed we are perfect for eachother we complement eac hother perfectly but she felt bad for the other guy and she is willing to live a life without love only the feeling os the kids being with his father i;m still on the side she still wants me to be with her all the time im so in love with her that i rather have er like that than nothing at all

Good for you--uraqt--and remember--1at a time and don't take no wooden nickels or wooden men--I know--hobojo

There are many excellent comments on here and of course some more unpleasant ones. I was the other woman. My MM was in a truly abusive relationship and an all but dead marriage. We were friends and that friendship grew. He is now divorced and we have been dating openly and legitimately for over a year. He treats me like a princess and everyone who knew him from his married days tells both of us quite openly how much happier he seems and how happy they are to see him with someone who treats him right. So if your MM really loves you, he will do what it takes to be with you, mine did.

But the problem is that you may not know until you have wasted the best years of your life and passed up many loving relationships where you would be #1, only to find out years later that your married man doesn't want to be with you and wants to remain married. you may find out he doesn't love you as much when his wife finds out about the affair and he then completely end his relationship with you and breaks your heart so he can save his marriage. Do you really want to take that chance, because the statistics prove that is what happens far more often than the married man leaving his wife for the mistress.

You've all given me the courage to put an end today to something that has been going on for almost 5 years. I hope to remain strong. I know it will hurt. But now I have found this site and I know I am not alone. Thank you for sharing.......

I was the man, with that other woman, i left my wife for her, have been together 22years, i've never been happier,

you should be proud of yourself but take some time and know what u want get to know yourself before you commit to someone else....and make sure that you get rid of all baggage that is in your life... that is good that you manage to move on... make sure its for the right reasons <br />
<br />
Good luck <br />
angryand shy

"10years".....your post does cover all the basis of an affair. Let us know how you are doing? There is never a sliver lining to any affairs.

i wish i have that courage like yours=( but i'm happy for you..!you're such a strong woman my dear..

This is a HAPPY story!

Cosreal, nobody cares what you think. Post in your own groups - we aren't harassing you there.

karma is a b1tch. if you ever find out your man cheated on you.. don't be surprised.

this makes me smile

I wish I am strong as you are.......