A Letter To The Other Woman

His wife, his mistress...a role we both seem to share.
If I am happy and in his arms, there are tears in your eyes.
If you are happy and in his arms, then there are tears in my eyes.
Both caught in a web, both being toyed with.
You being told that he is going to leave me,
Me being told that he is done with you and wants to be with me.
Both of us being told that his heart is with us,
That we are his one and only.
What to do?
Both of us thinking of the children.
Both of us thinking of the pain.
Some days I want a divorce, to be free.
Some days you want a divorce, for him to be free.
Both of us wondering who that will make us.
Most days we can't imagine our life without him.
Both of us want more,
More time, more commitment, more love.
Both of us want less,
Less deception, less lies, less of his broken promises.
The world tells me to hate you, that you have no class
The world tells you that he got bored and that I did something to cause him to cheat
The truth is we both fell in love.
4purrfectdarkness 4purrfectdarkness 26-30, F 149 Responses Oct 26, 2012

Your Response


It is uplifting to see a woman that understands the other woman as just that- another woman. So many see the extramarital as a monster without realizing that this is a person sharing the same feelings for the same man, the same pain, the same love, the same confusion. I know this took courage and a lot of swallowed pride, and, as one of many I feel for you and I thank you.

It was clear that my Married Friend did not love his wife.. I wouldn't have wanted him if he did..

He told you that and you believed him?

No, its from what I saw..

what a fantastic letter....

That's y the little head has 2 stop controlling the big head

Well said

the real truth
look in the mirror and you will see the wife.
the wife looks in the mirror and she will see the other woman.
because you both carry the same love
and so you are both the same
and your both being used and hurt.
i wish you both the ability to say good bye
and find someone that really and truly loves
only YOU.

because she usually is...


That's beautiful!

i m d other woman..... its nt evrtm dat d other woman is wrng or she is selfish

i m d other woman..... its nt evrtm dat d other woman is wrng or she is selfish


This is fantastic. One of the best I've ever read on EP or anywhere else. Great job.


The truth is that if you want to keep your man, the you two will have to sit down and learn to share. Wife is wife and lover can easily turn to concubines, aka second wife. That way all three will be happy and secure with anymore lies and deceit. To hell with societal norms!

Hey that is great writing. Thanks for sharing!

Thats so true and im sure you hate that you love him so much!

The generous sensitivity of your expression will remain with me a long time. Thank you for sharing.

Beautiful but so sad that he "has it all" & both women have to settle. He has all the control and is a master manipulator. Im an "other women" & have been for almost 2 years. Its heart breaking. As much as I love him still - I am starting to hate him & I still feel guilty - something he never feels. I wish you happiness

The very last sentence is the most truth to that entire letter.....well written...gave me shivers...xoxo

Despite the hurt that prompted it this is very insightful. My personal feeling is he doesn't deserve your objectiveness but your trying to make sense of it has me admiring your character immensely.

As LostOne40 said....WOW!

I totally get this ... All I can say is Wow! So well written from the heart.

When a man realizes these things, and if he is a "faithful adulterer" he may, provided he is a decent sort of chap to begin with, realize that he can't have both of you. And he will resolve to really have just one or the other.



In asia we get our brothers and relative to beat the hell out of him.Wish it is that simple in your country!!!!

This is exactly true. Perfectly written. But how do we solve this problem?

Written intellectually.. with a heart.. I applaud you.

You have an open mind and an open heart. You are seeing this from both points of view...not something many people can do. I applaud you!

Aww I thought it would end in something like getting together and killing him for what he is.. It would have ended better .:( guess that would just be me

Crazy it sounds like dejavu

Get rid of that cheating SOB.... No woman should ever want to be with a man that can't be faithful. Ladies, If he will cheat on another woman to see you, what makes you think that he won't cheat on you to see someone else??? Leopards don't change their spots nor will a man his habits!!!!!!!