What Am I Doing??

I have been seeing a MM for about a month now. We have not had full blown sex but we have kissed alot. He makes me feel alive and happier than I have been in ages. But he is married no kids though. He says that if we had meet before he got married then we would be together and that we dont know where this is going we should just wait and see. I love being with him. I could lay forever in his arms but I am miserable when he goes home to her. What do I do.
melanieklsbn melanieklsbn
36-40, F
9 Responses Nov 23, 2012

Well it feels horrible but its reality.

I am in EXACTLY the same position as you Melanie! I've been involved with my dads bestfriend for 2 months and he's an unhappily MM, it dependson the state of the marriage between your MM and his wife though. I;m only involved with my guy because i know his marriage is practically meaningless i.e he doesn't love he and there's no attraction to her whatsoever and i strongly believe that a marriage without these things and more is meaningless. Can the same be said for your MM? If the answer is no, i would think a bit more about what you're doing before you take it an further :). Hope i helped! x

Don't do it! It's still early enough to get out and not be scarred. I let myself get drugged back in and I'm afraid that I will soon start back over again in my healing process. The mm's only do this because they need to know they still have it. With no regards to how much they are hurting us....... It's the roller coaster ride you don't want to get on......it never works!

Be careful, Melanie...it can be a cruel cycle of hope and let down - painful. I have been there with a married man with no kids - it is very difficult to bring up and talk about 'what is going on' - thus, the cycle just continues and continues..very, very frustrating. No one can tell you not to spend time with him, but know, that chosing to support his affair will involve some, if not a lot, of pain for you no matter what.

Please don't fall into this trap! Run now! How wonderful can this guy be if he is willing to stab his bride in the heart? I know we like the feelings of flattery, attention and excitement, but don't waste any more of your time on a married man. Heartache will follow. Why invest in a relationship where he is treating you so cheap? Value yourself.

i know exactly how you feel, my mm makes me feel happy too. but mine has a wife and kids, so i know that there will never be anything "serious" between us. i'm just happy with the excitement and the cuddles. we have set a boundary..... no penetrative ***. cuz we know if we do, then it could ruin our friendship.
maybe you should keep it as no sex until he has decided if he ants to stay with his wife or not

The reason he is with you is because its fun! Keep it that way or get out! You knew he was married, therefor unavailable and dove in. Be a big girl and stop romanticizing his fling! Most times even if he leaves her, which is unlikely it dosent work....

It can be fun ..... but holidays alone suck. Good luck!!

I know exactly how you feel! I think this happens more than people realize. Reality wise I'm quite sure our hearts will be broken, seems to be just a matter of time. I have been on this roller coaster for 4 months now. If you want to continue the affair you have to compartmentalize the whole thing. It's not a relationship you can share. It is so hard to keep it to yourself. My friends say I'm glowing and wonder what is up! I think it's obvious to those who know you well. Mine makes me so happy with what little I get from him it's sad really. In order to keep him I encourage him to be good to his wife...we agreed from the beginning it was no strings attached and I feel like we have to stick to that in order to make it work at all but I know it's a time bomb emotionally! I hope this helps you put things in perspective. If your single I would say to move on. I've been in a non intimate marriage for several years. That's really what drove me to another's arms!