If You Are Forcing Your Husband To Stay... Then You Kinda Get What You Get

Well I think you should've never start talking to a married man from the beginning no matter how their marriage were. I cheated once on my husband with my ex and he were married too I felt so horrible dat I eventually told off on my self cause it were wrong do now I ask God for forgiveness

What makes you think he won't do the same thing to you?

I agree with you 100%. I know of a few men this has happened to and it's terrible. Children should never be involved in adult issues and the parent's relationship to their child is totally separate from the relationship they have with their husband or wife. The people (women or men) that use children as weapons in divorce to get what they want are selfish and vindictive human beings. I am from a divorced parents. My dad cheated on my mother and married the woman he was cheating with. My mother never kept us from seeing him and never used us as weapons or pawns. They never said anything bad about each other and my mom would encourage us to see him and they had joint custody. I know this is the best case scenario but I wish more people were like my mother. That's what being a REAL mother is, putting your children's best interests above your own. Good luck to you both and thanks for your post.

You are right, women should not force their H's to stay married when the relationship is lost. Neither should men. Nor should the kids be used against either spouse. But, when children are involved, it all chages. It just doesn't become a simple separation or divorce. Add to that finances and everything gets messed up. Sometimes we both feel stuck and just can't move forward. So, we can't go back and can't go forward. We end up finding someone else and living in a fantasy for moments in another's arms. Happiness is short and it becomes an addictive drug.

By the way I don't condone forcing someone to stay in an unhealthy relationship...that is wrong but I believe it should have been more of an incentive to leave and see above her games of using children as pawns to scare him. It's called divorce...you don't know what is going to happen, how things are going to work out but you do it any ways because it is healthier...say then cheating?...explain that one to the children? that is okay to behave in such a way...your setting them up to learn that this behavior is okay.

In response to harrie, yes i understand that this is not an IDEAL world and I know what it is like to have to suffer through a loveless marriage with children involved...that said I still believe there is not right for cheating ever! I have never cheated in all my long term commitments and have actually done the right thing and left when I felt like it or knew the relationship was broken...I was homeless, lost all my friends and was sleeping in my car at one point because my relationship was not right anymore and wanted someone else....so I believe there is no reason you have to stoop to the level of cheating. We are intelligent cognitive beings and there is no reason we can't act like one. I have lost everything at one point in order to leave an unhealthy relationship the proper way and I don't ever regret it.

I agree but I do not believe in cheating...it is dishonest and never solves anything....I would never want to be partly responsible for being a homewrecker....nothing justifies it in my opinion.

I had my ex cheat on me with his female best friend so I strongly disagree with your story as its pretty naive and immature to blame the wife for all the problems in his relationship. Are you really that gullible to believe your fiancé is totally innocent and it was all his ex wife's fault for the demise of their relationship? When will you realise that it takes two to tango? Women like you make me really annoyed as its just so pathetic that you aid in the breakdown of a marriage, I mean don't you believe in karma or something? Do you think he'll actually change for you? Once a cheater always a cheater in my book, sorry honey, but he'll be pulling the same **** on you in the not too distant future and you've got no one else to blame but yourself as you made your bed, by hopping into a relationship with someone who didn't even let his get cold after his wife and who's to say he won't go and play the victim to someone else and you'll be the one who is made to look like the villain. Ah well, you reap what you sow, hope you rest easy knowing he's probably out plowing another woman's field while you plan your façade of a future together. You could've picked a real man, not this weak spineless player....

I totally agree with what you are saying. People grow apart due to no fault of their own. Sometimes the love and passion were never really there to begin with and when you find it with someone else it becomes very obvious. When you use every trick in the book to keep the other there, you will never really have their heart so you are only hurting yourself!!

Shame on this woman for using her children as pawns in a game, they are not pieces to be played with. I am pleased he is now out of this marriage and he is with you, I will suggest good legal advice in regard to the children, angry, bitter women who use the children against their father should be reported to the correct authorities for child abuse and neglect. I wish you both the very best and happiness. Good luck.

Good for you. Just always communicate with each other and stay close. Good luck xo

Apple, thanks so much for your story! It is so great that the 2 of you finally have some happiness! Good for you!!!

Awwww... Glad that you are such a perfect person... It is usually the worse that casts judgment

First of all, there is NO EXCUSE ever for cheating! I usually don't rain on people's parade but people and women like you utterly disgust me about your lack of maturity on ending relationships properly. If you can't end a relationship responsibly then don't have one. He could have left and should have left and because he stayed and should have left that makes it okay then? That is F'd up. He should have been a man and left for his own happiness then no matter what she said. But instead he chose the weak way out. I am cynical about people who start their marriages together through affairs. Once a cheater...well you know. Don't be surprised if years down the road he doesn't have the heart to leave you and decides to get a girlfriend. Oh he wouldn't...? You can't force someone to stay with you anymore then you can stop a cheater from cheating on you no matter how beautiful, successful, smart etc. a cheater will cheat and I hope you like yours hon.