Sorry, Ladies...

I know I'll probably catch plenty of flak for this, but I'm gonna say it anyway.

I have slept with married (or otherwise "spoken for") men before, and I'm sure I'll do it again.  Why?  Because I want to.  Because he wants to.  Because there's not really a reason NOT to. 

It's not like I go looking for married men.  They find me.  People in similar situations seem to have a knack for finding each other.  I just keep my eyes open, that's all.

The question I'm sure that you're asking yourself is "Why?  Why would she do that to another woman?"  But see, that's the thing... I'm not doing anything to anyone.  I have no loyalties to women I don't know.  If someone's going to cheat, they're going to cheat.  That's just how it is.  I'm not doing the cheating for them.  I'm not making them do anything they weren't already going to do.  

People in committed relationships should understand that there's a profound probability that both parties involved will be tempted, usually several times over the course of their life.  That's a pat of life.  What they choose to do with that temptation is up to the involved individual.  

So just remember ladies... treat your man right, and he probably won't end up with a girl like me.  If you do, and he still does, then he's not worthy of you anyway, and you should be glad to be rid of him.

deleted deleted
200 Responses Jul 28, 2008

True, true, and TRUE... is a situation where 2 people decide what is going to happen...that is one issue always upset many is the other woman´s fault...NO, is not that simple....

oh, I think you DO seek them out. and I think it makes you feel pretty. And im thinking you probably aren't pretty whatsoever. CONGRATS BOTTOM-FEEDER

You women here are so screwed up

I agree with you. You have no obligation or "girl code" with woman you don't know. Why not? I totally see where you are coming from, it may sound cold and heartless for others to read, but you can't live your life worried about EVERYONE else and their emotions.

im not getting any from my women ,
can you help me out?

So whats your **** count total? Let's make this interesting.

Well. I have to admit the same thing. But even when I am trying to find women for other men, they seem to all be married. I can't find either non-married men and women nowadays, apparently.

How can you have 65535 stories?. Get yourself a life.

Lol no, thats not her name. She has deleted her profile

What is wrong with you? Honestly, im not sorry for saying this, you're pure trash. How could you ever do that to another woman? Let alone do that to there children? You do know there could possibly be children influenced in this to correct? Do you know how many people commit suicide, do you know how many families get broken? How many fatherless or motherless children there are because of woman like you? How could you easily spread your legs, don't you feel the slightest bit guilty? And where are your morals? Did your mother teach you anything about having values or being pure? How would you feel if your father did that to your mother? How woul you feel if your daughters husband did that to her? You're absolutely degrading, you have no respect for yourself and anyone else, you're selfish and immature, this was really just an excuse for you being a ****. I hope karma bites you in the *** hard for this.

I have not the slightest remorse for what I said, once you have respect for yourself, others will start respecting you (: I just don\'t understand how a lady can spread her legs so easily.

Look, I don\'t agree with her view at all (read my story), but still you might not want to operate on the same level, or would you? Your wording is bit too strong, at least for me.

"How could you ever do that to another woman?" Didn't you read what she said? I'll paste it for you:

The question I'm sure that you're asking yourself is "Why? Why would she do that to another woman?" But see, that's the thing... I'm not doing anything to anyone. I have no loyalties to women I don't know. If someone's going to cheat, they're going to cheat. That's just how it is. I'm not doing the cheating for them. I'm not making them do anything they weren't already going to do.

I'm not saying I AGREE with her. But, I'm not judging her either. She DOESN'T have any loyalty to women she doesn't know. That's HIS job to be faithful. It isn't HER job to KEEP him faithful, ESPECIALLY when SHE'S not the one in a RELATIONSHIP with him.

the one without sin...cast the first stone

1 More Response

You're disgusting and you have no idea of the pain that your actions inflict on people. You might not be the cheat but you're completely deluded if you think you're a moral character. I feel so sorry for you.

It's all about discretion. As someone said, it's like outsourcing. Your wife or husband is your business partner effectively, running the family and the home. There's far too much day to day noise and strife to allow the secretive intimacy we all crave - and the irony is that it's easier to escape for a few hours with the other woman/man as your spouse is looking after the family, whereas if you want to escape together it's never seen as being 'worth the effort' for a few hours, or you have to arrange for a sitter etc. Sounds petty but the devil is in the details - does your other woman/man ever ask if you called the roofer?

I think I understand your post. I have had one relationship with a married man, and I think it was so satisfying because we were both miserable at the time and so we were so happy to be able to make each other happy or to have light hearted experiences when they are normally so heavy and troublesome. I can't imagine it ends well for you, as it didn't end well for us. It was a lot of drama and sadness at realizing we were in a situation with a conclusion that we could not have. We should not have allowed ourselves to become so attached to each other, to fall in love, even. Should have kept it light hearted, but we didn't and probably that's why it was so intense, and fun, and exciting. I didn't feel bad in the end, because as you mention, it was his choice to do that, and his wife is not a very nice person, I know this not just from him but from many others who realize he is a good kind person and she is mean to him because she doesn't love him, but rather uses him. It's sad. ~r.

But how do YOU feel at the end? Are you growing and stretching beyond where you are right now, or are you stuck? I can see both sides and I can see the pain. There is a bit of ice in your post, a bit of resolution to 'this is just the way it is'. Life has more to it than just a series of affairs with no meaningful ending. Relationships should help you define what you want in a solid life-long partner, it is the 'trying it on' part before you buy. It is a learning place. I hope you find a person who can meet the 80/20 rule: 80% of the time life is OK, but 20% of the time we are up or down from the norm and the other person sticks with us through thick and thin. It is the part about "sticking with us" that I fear you are not now nor ever will be getting from these kinds of relationships. I hope you will stretch beyond your current place and look for an available man who will pull you through the 20%'s in life.

No excuse for this kind of behavior. My family was ruined due to a cheating parent. My life was never the same I lost all my friends and never made anymore. Think about what you are doing to the family.

I understand your thinking.. but if we're being real here.. THIS IS WHATS WRONG WITH OUR SOCIETY. The mentality of "if I'm not emotionally connected to someone, and don't know them then I have no obligation to them or their feelings" is beyond wrong. as a fellow woman I could NEVER.. Why? because I care about people. Whether they're my sister, my neighbor, or a stranger. I think disregarding the feeling of peoples wives, and children and writing it off as "NOT MY RESPONSIBILITY" is selfish and immature. I don't tear down relationships, and I don't hurt people consciously (whether directly or indirectly). I deserve to be number one in a mans life, and you do too. It's people with that mentality that make men, or cheating women think it's okay. It's not. It never will be. You're being an accomplice, and a part of the equation. And the excuse of "they would cheat regardless" is a cop out. Why be that girl? It degrades you. It degrades your relationship. It spits in the face of that mans wife. You can't claim to care for someone without loving ALL of them, and a person family which whether you like it or not includes their family. And you get the excuses (as below) of they aren't happy, their wives don't cater to them etc etc. Then it's their responsibility to leave or fix it before they seek out another lover. They can't be TOO HORRIBLE if they're going home to them not you. Find casual sex if you want, but with someone who's married? it's classless, it's empty, and it's in poor taste. We are a society that doesn't care about anyone but ourselves. If we're going to call it how we see it, I'm telling you that you are a factor. you are hurting people. and it isn't okay. you may not be the "cheater" but you are a mistress, and you do hurt people. be a big girl, and own that ****.

This is one of the best dialogues I have read on the subject. I sometimes feel terrible that my MM and I have been together for 10 years. When we are together and I feel the world is ours to conquer. I go through highs and lows of cheating, worthlessness and then passion and excitement for life. The highs are unreal, the lows suck but I still try to have it all and him too. In the end, I am not sorry and happy we have connected emotionally and physically.

the mm I have been seeing for almost 3 years will never leave his wfe for me..even tho he says hes never ever loved anyone like he loves me.. hes still remains home..

You are wrong that you are not doing anything to anyone - it can hurt children if there are any involved. You and he are making relationships all about sex when they really can be so much more. I don't mean to judge but maybe the reason you "want" to is the thrill of the chance of being caught? There are much better and deeper thrills in life. Instead of cheating, the men you are with should grow-up and confront their marriage problems before having a relationship with someone else. They are immature cowards who are unable to deal with life in the real world so they are seeking a fantasy that doesn't really exist and comes crashing down later. I know they can be handsome, smart, and funny, etc, but if they don't respect their wife, why do you think they will respect you?

I can completely relate! I too am frequently the other woman and seem to attract men in relationships. I am single, independent, and successful and probably not the more nurturing type men want to settle down and have a family with. To be completely fair and honest, the times it's happened I have had no knowledge of their relationships until after they already pursued me and it was too late. It's caused me to loose faith in most relationships because if these good men (and trust me they arnt the sleaze bags you think they would be), whom clearly are in love with their partners, are good souled people, and normally work things out with their partners in the end, can cheat it kind of means all of them can and do. I think it's horrible to shame the other woman. I have never knowingly pursued someone in a relationship. In my experience its always the man whom pursued me and left me in the dark and I have been as hurt by it as the partner. In one case I became good friends after with both of them and was even invited to their wedding after everything settled down (after the initial shock of it all we acted like adults and realized how much we all had in common so could luckily put it behind us). I had an experience recently that made me question why I seem to attract these cheaters, some one who was a good natured down to earth person fully pursued me only to find out on Facebook later that he had a partner and a newborn. I felt completely horrible and question how, what, why.... I maybe will never know! What I do know is its more common than we all think and should approach the subject with maturity knowing that every situation is different and there is no scapegoat (the other woman, the partner, the cheater).

I like you. You are real. And you are realistic.

This is why I question whether human beings are truly meant to be monogomous. I have come to understand, through reading academic research, that that human monogomy originated as a social construct created by religious dogma. It's related to an arhaic need/want of men to be able to will their property to their sons. The construct would ensure bloodline is correct by expecting women to be virgins at the time of marriage. These wives were kept in confinement to make sure they do not "stray," producing children who are undeserving of the inheritance.

Some people are apparently happy in marriage, but I don't think that means it should be the rule to how relationships should be. Or that we should place moral judgement on those who do not subscribe to these ways. I do believe in honesty however, and do not think it's good for a man or woman to sneak and lie in order to have sex with other people. ~r.

If you don't respect yourself then how will others ever respect you? You are being selfish, if a man is ready and willing to cheat then he needs to talk to his wife and get a divorce if need be, but there's women like you ready and willing to spread your legs for a little self indulgence, maybe a 2 minute ego boost.. Especially when there are kids involved, it's just wrong and the question is why do that to yourself?

If Anyone believes that otherwoman should not get involved or have sex with MM,SO. equally MW should not be harsh not to love or not to sleep with her Husband,.So it wrong and unmoral if Wives dont give love or dont have sex with thier husbands,then it is equally wrong OW Loves or have Sex with MM.So MW should love and fullfill sexual needs of her husband before He(MM) would require Other Woman.or the reason to go to OW.

Are you speaking of yourself ? There are thousand of reasons why people cheat, and this is only one of them. And it is also combined with a lot of other personal issues......MM wan't to get some thrill, some confirmation, etc...Reasons are very diffent......I have a coworker who consider as a sporting activity - a hobby. He off course would never leave his wife...Etc.., etc...

Dear deleted,,you are absolutely,If you are kept hungry at home,you cant stay hungry out side,One naturaly will seek what he or she missied at home,because the need of love or being wanted&intimacy, no moral and rules can forbid or prohabit it.The neglected person will rest of his or her life till he finds it,(love&intimacy)what he missed at home from his wife(Chritian or sick).Ofcourse he will go out side to find indirectly forces by his wife who is handicaped to love giving and love making.So one be cauciouse of love les women who somehow hope to live with man as in brother sister relations,these loveless woman sister dont realise even brothers get horny.
So when wifes treat thier husbands right,there will be no problem.

It is also the man's job to make the wife hungry for him. The man is supposed to be the leader of his home. If he is an effective leader, his wife will want to be with him and will desire him. If he shows love to his wife, she will love him for it. It is a two way street. Not everyone is perfect, but if husbands treat their wives right, the wives will generally respond. If one side or the other is not getting what they need, they need to speak up and make it right instead of cowardly seeking their needs elsewhere.

And just to add to my last few comments. I believe author is really simpifying things, and I don't praise her, I actully don't care for people like her, I care about my spouse, and we only are responsible for our relationship.

Dear kk1966,As you said that youcare about your spouse,then it is great,so you have almost have no risk that your spouse will not seek love or anything outside,So keep on loving and caring for him,that he has no space & no vacume of love to get it out side,

My dad cheated on my mother too, and it affected our lives in a lot of ways. You should understand that being the other woman you are the reason that leads a married man to forget his partner and hurt a woman in the worst possible way. You are the reason why women leave their husbands, seperating the kids from their father. That kind of thing changes you. Even though i've forgiven my dad i dont really repect him as much as i used to. Plz do remember that by your actions u r disrespecting urself as well. You deserve to be with a man who would gives you happiness the rest of his life. Find someone like that instead of letting a man use u for the benefit of your looks. I wish u luck and all the happiness.

Wrong, Liz... Your father himself was the reason. And a little bit also your mother. I know it is hard to take responsibility...but it is true. And I have been left by somebody, whi found "other women". And my father was left by my mother from similar reason. What I have learned is that I don't want to judge people, even my ex or my father. Yes, they cheated, but who am I - missi perfest to through stones?

the "other woman" is not the cause of a man's infidelity. The man chooses to go outside of his marriage.. No one should be casting stones

No i dont judge my dad or my mum or even that lady for that matter. But i also do not agree with the rationale behind this story. She doesn't mind dating married men because she feels that since technically she is not the one who is cheating, its okay. I would never date a married man even if i loved him. The reason? Its wrong on too many levels. I would never want to be a reason behind the end of a marriage and sadly, this woman is a perfect example of exactly that.


When. parents with disfunctional sex live is sad,& is main reason to find relations outside marriage.In marriage partener with no or lesser sexual need tries to influence other members of family,espacially children against mostly father,the FATHER that whose wife has forgotten that her husband is a man,with masculine needs & needless to say he working for his family,and his needs are ignored as husband,and his children are poisoned against him by mother,who is possibly a christian good person,but does nt know her or her husband love & sexual needs,not

Thats not always true. I dont know why my dad chose to do what he did, but if he was bored of the sex life like u said, he should have spoken to my mother about it rather than find another woman. My mother never influenced us in any way. She never turned us against my father or said anything negative about him so dont suggest your stupid christian theories to me. What my dad did was wrong and people like this women are partly responsible for it. End of story.

Hi Liz7107,Did you every judge you mother,for she or did not do,that you father had to seek love and sex outside marriage,It is sad that children become not only victims when parents as husbund&wife disfunctions,plus that mothers always influence thier children against fathers,that children become so hadicaped that they are unable to question thier mother intent to turn against thier fathers,mother feel joyfull & only ******,when children hate ther father.That very sad,when mother poisons thier children against fathers,At vulnerable age children never see the faults of thier mother as the
wife of thier father,And child inharit same disfuntional behavior when they reach age of adulthood,because thier mother told them one sided sicking stories which has nothing to do with facts.

Mothers don't turn their children against their fathers. Many fathers do a perfect job of turning their kids away all by themselves.
My dad did that to us, he was a miserable bastard to all of us.
All of the families I know, where the children have strained relationships with the father, are exactly the same. The mothers didn't bad mouth the fathers, the fathers behaved like immature, selfish ****** who conveniently forgot that they had kids.

5 More Responses

The reason not to be involved with someone who is married is because that person is already committed to someone else. He might want to sleep with you but you are simply a piece of *** for him. He won't leave his wife for you and he won't choose you over his wife. He's only with you because you are the type of woman who will give him what he wants as if he's some sort of God. He doesn't sleep with you because you are better than his wife. He is with you because you have no morals and he can walk all over you. He probably would never treat his wife like that because he actually loves her. You are for sex and play and that's it. When he's bored with you or if you cause him problems then you're gone. You seem to think that you are better than these other women being cheated on and that's far from the truth. You are the home-wrecker. You are the woman that doesn't know how to be a real woman. A real woman knows what it takes to be in a successful relationship and understands that being flirty and a **** tease to a married man is wrong and shameful. You lie to yourself and say "if he wasn't with me then he'd be cheating with someone else". What proof do you have of this? How in the world do you know this? Its just something to make you feel better about what you do. There is nothing you can say to defend yourself here. Your only choice to is stop being a ***** and grow up.

And your are just rude. You want to be respected, but you yourelf don't respect others.

I respect those who earn respect. You are incapable of that.

Have come to this conclusion after reading my story?

Mark my will get hurt at some point, and you will wonder and realize all the things you did without giving it much thought

From a high schooler's point of veiw that's just really pathetic. :| Is there any better word to discribe it? I mean, this bashing might be normal for you and all that but, if you are getting bashed don't you think there needs to be some change in your life? Tighten the screws instead of screwing strangers over?

<p>Another one who tries with a simplified formula: "How to keep the man". Actually I don't care much about people like you - there is always going to be someone like you. </p><p>What I have learned of being on the other side is: I want a man who will "treat me right" and I will do the same. </p><p>And to you I wish the best of luck. I hope you are really happy with your situation and not just pretending ( to others and maybe to yourself also) that this is good enough for you.</p>

It's sad you feel this way.. It shows a lack of worth in yourself. You aren't going to find anything with a married man that's worth having. Poor you.

I guess i am in shock that there are so many that feel the way you do and themseles.
How about having eough respect for a fellow woman and the relationship. How about telling him to go work it out or get out but dont be a cheater. I just dont see how you could of been raised to really believe your innocent inthe distruction of your seflfish acts.

<p>wouldnt you at some point want to be the first woman in his life? Once we have sex with people we get attached to them. And we want more and more of them. I dont think the problem is in the cheating the spouse. I think at some point it is wanting to be the spouse that gets the "other woman"! Way too much pain if the man isnt ready to leave the spouse. Lot of times it is hard to leave the spouse because of myriad reasons. Then it is pain and agony for both.. If the guy is a pla<x>yer then the other woman ends up feeling used..</p>

....... There is a reason the man runs,
The wife has no reason to place the blame on you,
You were just there while he ran...
Something or someone he ran into,
To get away from her!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I agree with you, you have no loyalty to the other woman. however i think you are worthless and tacky which is why you settle for being a side piece. May you fall in love and have soemone do that to you

......What if she is using him as a side piece!

.......It doesn't make her any better than him, take for example two married people cheating on their spouses..... They are both knowing what they are doing and can't point fingers really!

i think the cheater and side piece are foul and deserve each other. I agree that the cheater deserves the bulk of the blame in a failed relationship.

............ Hey wait a minute..... Don't go placing all the blame on the cheating party, there is a reason why the cheater is cheating, it might as well be because the wife/husband isn't working hard enough to keep them happy in some way!!!!!!!!!

Hy cookiesoke,when a MW with no loyalty to her own husband to love &amp;for intimacy or logic understanding, how she(MW) can have loyalty or at least understanding with OW,If we all polnt finger to ourselves or be self critic,&amp;blame ourselves,we all correct ourselves,than all MM &amp;MW will so much love to each other they never require go to OW orOM,Otherwise OW or OM ready to help as God given wonder,where the missing fun, love&amp;intimasy you so much,that you cant get enough,there your really praise the lord,for missing link in your life,you found here,what you couldnt get at home. When MM&amp;MW deprive each other sex &amp;making love for long time,one time patience has its limits,Then there Gods given marracle waiting in shape WONDERFUL. OW &amp;OM.

2 More Responses

. You said it all. I wasn't looking for him, he found me. It may me lust like everyone says and at this point of my life that's great. I prefer married men because I don't want commitments.

cut the crap. you can have a non commited relationship with a single man.

well put
my take on all this is simple if the man knew it was possable for his wife to cut off sex or worse use it as leverage. i know a few that do.then it's on the man because he went in with his eyes open at least i would hope so and i know some men stay in the marriage for one reason or another religion, kids, apperances all sad excuses.first their has to be a open line of communication. first of all if one party lets it be known that they want or need more in the way of sexual satisfaction then it would behoove the other to make a full effort to satisfy her or him after all i would hope the relationship started that way. if it didn't again thats on is too short not to expand ones sights in all facets it is natural to do so it's called life. personely i would not be with someone who wouldn't, and that is what can end a marriage one party grows and the other won't for one reasone or another. two things can happen they get divorced or they reach an aggreement of some sorts where with some discretion one party is allowed to grow and expand their horizon it should not have to get ugly unfortunately that is the majority of the time but you learn and move on with your life.Do not waste time repeating because life is truely too short

I WAS the other woman until he left his girlfriend for me and we have been very happily married for almost 3 years now. I didn't have to persuade him to leave her or f him enough times to make him want to choose me. All I did was show him that I was a better person and could make him so much happier than she ever could. We were just "friends" in public, but she knew. She forbade him to ssee me at one point, but eventually she left him for another man and he came running back to me. I understand that I married a nympho. He is completely addicted to sex. Since I'm bi we have ********** and he loves it, but he knows whose p**** he's coming home to. He doesn't feel the need to cheat because he knows that I understand that it's a need of his. I would rather him be open and honest than to lie to me. If I ask him if he's staring at another woman's *** I would rather him say yes than say no when he really was. It's natural for us humans to look and I admit that I look too, but I don't have a high enough sex drive to please two men. What matters to me is laying my head down next to his every night knowing that there are no secrets between us and that I can trust him.

......... Just knowing won't make you feel better, it is just another excuse you want to use for someone to tell you it is OKAY...... Just knowing is NOT enough to have peace............ To really have peace is TO KNOW he wants none other than you and NOT that he's cheating.

I see your point.


It's our decisions that make us who we are, and we can always choose to do the right thing!


After reading this article I needed to speak to you directly. . .your reasoning for having a carefree attitude is flawed. You are taking no blame for hurting the wife which shows how delusional you are! You are responsible for your actions whether you admit it or not. You will pay back your debt eventually, and karma is a *****. I have been cheated on, and cheated with unmarried men, which doesn't make me any better just because they're not married. I have paid dearly for my mistakes. You will too.

....... Sorry but there are two sides to everything, did you ever think about the fact that the WIFE hurts other people because she cannot keep her man happy enough, so he runs into the arms of other women and break their hearts because of his own wife's incapacity to LOVE??!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You are absolutely right,I cant understand why everyone blames OW,or unhappy Married man,it is the wife, her unablity to love or have sex with her husband,such loveless &amp;passionless women indirectly persuade thier husband to OW,who gives MM all he missed in marriage.It is neccessity that frigid, loveless MW educate &amp;study how to keep thier husbands happy,so much happy that MM would only come home to his loving wife,the MW who cant wait longer till her loving husband comes home after work.
If a MW who cant give or take love,as always in thier lives,thes should learn love and love making in Las Vegas,how much MM desperatly looking for love&amp;love making,MM will travel far and wide to find love till rest of thier lives till they find it,and when they find this new OW,this MM will spend anything to show his gratitude &amp; appriciation.So please dont blame MM or sweet hearted OW who is full of passion &amp; love,that overflows due passion of OW when she notices desparity of MM&amp;his deprivation of love by MM 's wife.

Don't listen to anyone repented. I thought about this, and you know what, us men are designed to **** and that's all there is to it. We are designed to **** and women are meant for *******. Keep doing what your doing, your wife loves it, I'm sure she knows, they all do.

......Maybe the wife is even turned on by seeing her husband entertain other women............. She wishes it was her lmfao

I think you have it in for other women and actually hate them. You know most (and I say most) guys are easy and would have sex with about anything, so you are nothing special. I'm sure what you are doing gives you some kind of powerful feeling though. In fact, you are so blatant, I actually thing the writer of your post is a man.

We men each need to have two wives. This way the sister wives can have each other to complain to all the time and trade secrets. This would solve everything.

What's good for the goose is good for the gander if men are allowed to have 2 wives women should be allowed to have 2 husbands I could easily satisfy 2 men and think about how much easier it would be to support a family with 2 working men in it versus 2 house wives and 6 kids trying to live on 1 mans salary its makes a lot more sense for women to have 2 husbands

@deleted..."they find me"... thats because they are looking. Everyone wants to fulfill their desires at some point when their desires aren't being fulfilled at home and then we start searching. Sometimes we'll find someone else and sometimes we won't. If wives would listen they would find out that the other woman has learned things about their husbands that they (wives) might not ever know. You speak a truth that most wives don't want to know. When we don't want the truth we point the finger.

I am standing up and applauding right now.

@deleted...while you feel you have no loyalties to the other woman, you do have a loyalty to your creator...God. Don't be surprised that after you have all your fun with these married men, sooner or later your life will begin to fall apart in many different ways...not just with men. Just the fact that you sleep with married men shows that you have not been blessed with a good man. Instead, you sleep with losers. You are bonding your body with men who possess a lustful spirit and they will indeed reap what they sow as well. Whether you are a believer now or not, you will be when you finally have to face God. Good's never too late to turn your life around and become a blessing to others!

....... Some married men are a blessing to those they sleep with........ The lessons are harsh learned, but it makes you a better person in the end... And I am sure the married guy gets something worth while out of it regrets only lessons...... Especially if GOD IS LOVE and the people met because they saw something special in each other, who the hell are you to JUDGE when it is God's place and Love is what brought them together in the first place?!!!!!!!! No one ever said that LOVE is easy, no one ever said loving God is easy.... No one ever said loving your fellow man would be easy and without trials, and tribulations????? Through suffering God cleans the diamond that is your soul......... And what better way to send you through fire than with a "test of love"?!!!!!!!!!! You clearly have not lived yet literally and figuratively to cultivate enough compassion for your fellow man to know what life is all about!!!!!!!!!!!!

Heaven and Hell do exist, but so does God and God is a God of forgiveness. I as a married man have slept around and I do love my wife. The other women (and there were many) were just one night stands. There are a few that stand out but none that I want to have a meaningful relationship with outside the bedroom. I would not want my wife to cheat on me, that would devastate me - hypocrite hey. So therefore I no longer go to night clubs etc. The weird thing is that most of the woman cannot compete with my wife in terms of looks and personality - but it is an inner drive to cheat. I cannot explain it: maybe because I know that I have a fulfilled relationship and just want to play the field. Problem is that if I get caught by her, she would drop me like a hot potato, and if we had to break up I would never go and have a relationship with any lady that I had had a one night stand with. Never. Honestly speaking, I do not respect them enough.

Sigh, I think you are right. I feel like crap after the act. Always pray and ask for forgiveness. My point is that I do not want to do it. And usually when I go looking for an "encounter" is when I have this urge, but if I do not find a willing person I go home and am fine with it and the urge is gone, just as long as I went and looked. Usually when I single out a girl and get my hands around her waist, then it is usually a sealed deal. In my quiet moments, I hate myself for what I do. I hate adultery, but when I am in the situation something else takes a hold of me and I just take the plunge so to speak. Afterwards I do not want to even look at the woman. Maybe I blame her for my failings to keep my integrity intact because she is so easily seduced and make it easier for me to compromise my marriage vows. In any event a man like me is not someone any woman should want to be with- period. Even for a one night stand. My wife always says how happy she is to be married to me, always praises me in front of her family and craves me holding her in my arms in front of people. She I respect.

Not all men are like you there are some who resist temptation. But if women weren't willing to sleep with married men you'd be happy with your wife. I've been on the receiving end of cheating and trust me my ex husband deeply regrets it its been 2 years since I found that box of condoms in his car and left him and he's still in love with me he hates himself for what he did and it wasn't the first time honorable women deserve honorable men and a cheater needs an open marriage and if u are sleeping around your partner should have that option too. I don't hate men who sleep with multiple women I know some people in open relationships that love each other to death but don't make a woman or man a promise of monogamy if u cant keep it.

It's nice to comment from a perspective of "holier than thou", what you do not realise is that people like me and some others that have made posts from our unique world life view. Instead of offering advice you want to be seated in a position of judge, instead of helping you want to kick people down and think you know them better when you do not know them from a bar of soap. Remember, "wisdom is justified of her children".

kudos to you for your honesty and i hope that the "other women" on ep see what you have said, especially those who think they are so special to the married men they are sleeping with, the ones that hope he will leave his wife for them. hopefully it will be an eye opener for them.

Hi JERRICA, Thank you for your appreciation of my feelings and understanding the spirit in which I had written this contribution to the topic. It is just an avenue to speak out about things that I feel because I don’t think I would want to share these issues with anyone face to face. I further commend you for not making this a judgmental issue and leveling personal attacks against me for my shortcomings – which I know well about and am trying my level best to overcome.
Dear Judge Harrie51
You say that my behavior should be judged, by whom? YOU? What downfall are you talking about? I only blamed you for your judgmental outlook on people.
Do you really understand what you are saying with your statement, “this is atypical of someone with a maladaptive behavior”. Are you saying that I am a non-maladaptive person which means that I am a normal person because “atypical” is the opposite of “typical”?
Your understanding of “maladaptive behavior” is also faulty. Maladaptive is a psychological term which is indicative of a coping mechanism which is inherently faulty because it bypasses the root cause of anxiety. Your words may not make sense grammatically but I do get the gist what you are trying to say – I am not an idiot who needs professional help.
Talking about professional help, how did you come to the assessment that I need professional help? Please explain.
I have told my wife, when I found out other men were pursuing her, that if she wants to leave me, she must tell me. She tells me only death can separate us. So it looks like she is the one that does not want to go.
Your last statement is also judgmental, “so she can find a man who can truly love(s) and respect(s) her” Have a nice day now, your Honor.

............ Dude is your wife okay with this? Does she know? My Husband always knows when I take fancy to someone else and try to be the type of man I want but sleeping with them he doesn't like. Thus you could tell your wife to dress like a sl..u..t in a night club and meet you there all by her own, arriving separately and you can do some role playing kink.......... And then you can screeew and fuuuk like rabbits in some desolate motel and leave separately too back to your homes and back to your boring lives as husband and wife, how does that sound? It works for me and my husband!

Sounds like sexual addiction. Get thee to therapy.

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I hear you. <br />
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I have had several relationships with married men in my time. Going back 20+ years to my first one. Why? my friends ask. Because I like them. They filled a void and didn't require the emotional or time commitments that my single relationships did. I liked them - the men. I went in clear eyed and clear headed - not expecting a long term commitment - hell, not wanting one. It worked for me, and, for them. <br />
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I agree with MrFree - I don't make men cheat - they decide that all on their own. <br />
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Yes, I could refuse them, and I have. But the men I have been with, who are married, have touched me in some way - a shared ideal, a shared dream, something - that made our time together special. And , I believe, enhanced both our lives.

I too agree the above post. I am not desiring anything long term and my current mm will be going back home in a bit. We enjoy each other knowing that there is an end in sight and when it comes there will be no hard feelings or regrets

........... I agree, people gotta accept that men and woman both use each other, it is not just men using women........ Women can be just as slinky and shady than men when it comes to these things!

I do the same...I prefer single men but if a married man wants me and I want him, why not?<br />
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I am married myself. I tell my husband who I sleep with and he does the same so we are not really "cheating".<br />
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Why have sex only one one person for 2, 5, 10, 50 years? Open your eyes ladies. Your husband does not have sex with others because he does not love you. I am convinced that 80% of cheaters love their wifes dearly. They cheat because their male instinct wants it. It would be much easier if marriage would not mean "sexual exclusivity". Why the hell is this the case.Marriage mean relationship, family, building something together. Please get the sex out of the equation...

I have been with my husband 15 years. Yes, there are happy kids out of this marriage (of course they are not exposed to our "extra-marital relations". ) I am the most important person in the world for him and vice versa... You can call it what you want but we are really happy together. We will grow old together because we give each other freedom to love... The greatest gift of all.

Harrie51: I find your two experiences interesting...... If you are the other women, it means that you beleive someone's husbands loves you....! Beleive me, he does. . He really does. It is possible to love more than one person. As I love the other men I sleep with. I don't sleep with the first guy I see. Not sure how you story will end (or ended) but I know there is love involved...

My husband and I have sex 2 or 3 times a week at least. Not sure why I would divorce such a good looking and smart men that I love. :-)

Trust me, I know that...

........ You don't love the person you don't go back Home to zamelle, harrie has a point..... You are just using each other... And as for the male instinct thing going on, the woman must be able to transform herself into something his male instinct wants, and if you can't be the animal he wants to f, then he would seek a better animal outside of the marriage to boink......... It seems the trouble doesn't lie with his male instinct but with your female instinct, you don't wanna be the proper se..x crazed animal at home so be it in other male species' beds......

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these posts are very interesting. reading women going back and forth with each other like that always gives me new perspectives. let me say from a mn's point of view...women dont make us cheat. really they dont. most men i know cheat cause they want to. if a man cheats, then there are problems with him and his commitment to the relationship. the other women is the last thing the wife should be worried about. he is open to cheat then he is open to cheat. and it often doesnt matter how good a housewife you are, how god a cook you are, how good in bed you are...if he has determined that he wants to try someone else, then he simple as that. and i know this will be hard to swallow for the women that will read this, but just because he f*cks someone else, does not mean he doesnt love you and that he doesnt care about your relationship and your family. sometimes, many times for men it really is just about the sex. and for us we don't equate sex with love the way momen do.<br />
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i am always amazed at the "if it wasn't for women like you" comments. there is not a "type" of woman that cheats. some women that swear up and down that they never would end up in bed with someone else sometimes. just depends on that person and whats going on in their lives at the time. and sometimes, they like and enjoy what they did. if my wfe cheated on me, then i have a problem with her. the other dude made no commitment to me, she did.<br />
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always amazed at how judgemental and self-righteous people are also. if life has taught me one thing, its that every situation is different. for some people cheating is ba<x>sed on beig needy and dammaged, for other it is liberating, for others, it is for true love. who are e to say whats right or wrong if we dont know the situation. stealing is worng, but would you steal to feed your children. murder is wrong, but would you kill to protect your family? we dont know what people needs and situations are so how can we say whats wrong or right.<br />
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i know someone is going to say i am justifying cheating, but i look at the facts, this has been going on since the dawn of man. thousands upon thousands of people throughout the mellinnea. it looks like human behavior to me. and that stuff our grandparents tell us about no one cheating back in the day, come one really? they just didnt talk about and many times wifey just sat at home and bit her lip while grandpa went out and did his thing. look all i am saying is to give it some real rational, critical thought and not just through out cliches about right and wrong.

You are right. It's like I'm so confused I guess because my husband cheated because I cheated on him. I explained to him several times why I did it and it was because I was needy and I didn't feel like I was enough for him. He liked sex a lot and watching **** and me dressing up but also he wanted to watch other people with me. I was confused this was my first marriage I'm his third wife and to me sex was something sacred. But still I tried to meet him in the middle and watch **** dress up for him. I even envited other men and women into our sex life. But I cheated on him because in the back of my mind I knew he had real issues. I love this man don't get me wrong. I have drove myself insane over the eight years we have been together. But also can I blame him when in the beginning he was open with me about his sexual desires? I don't know even I have mixed thoughts about it because I know I want someone that is so into me that its to the point of being gross. I love being the center of someone's life and I have fought being insecure because I had doubts I was this person in his eyes. Then again I look back at our life together and I say Damn he must love me because if the other person could fill my shoes he wouldn't stay and deal with me. I must admit I have been up and down a lot in eight years and he has always told me if we do these things or not it doesn't matter and he loved me anyway. I literally beat him down because of his fetishes and I didn't need to do that either. The fact is when we are together I feel his love for me I see it in his eyes and I want him to be happy. I guess this all was supposed to go with the story and I have a point. Supposedly the girl he cheated with knew he was married and he just told her he wanted to get me back so apparently it wasn't to take my place but she.had no loyalties to me so why would she care if she wanted the sexth at bad too. Because she not only wanted him she had him and two other men at the same time. So appae

Mr Free..... This seems to be more on the money than anything else that i have read....the facts are the facts ...believing a misconception does not make it the is not so black and white as some people have suggested.....surely the only way to become clearer on this controversial issue is to suspend our judgment...........

I agree. Monogamy is a social construct and one of stifling control. I have three children with a man who psychologically abuses me. it's not so bad that i want to live on the street with my babies, but i have a lover who is happily married with kids. We do it because its a fun deviation from boring old life and we really like each other, it's some experience etc. Why shouldn't I have something to look forward to, outside just obligation? I am no martyr.

who are you to judge? these rules weren't set out by me. I've told my man plenty of times he's free to pursue other women, but he's not really interested. Maybe he is, and I'm just none the wiser.

Actually there is a reaon to not to, God stablished limits for sexuality. Those limits where created to protect us. When you go in your car the lines painted on the asphalt guide you and prevent problems with other cars, the same is with God`s word. Think... all that problems, all that deceptions, all that pain... something in your mind is wrong.<br />
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You think the way you are because no one has told you the truth, and as you just saw, the truth makes you free. If you want to know more, write me

and the world is ****** up because of women like you... But... I do wish you to get married, and hopefully with that MM that you are now.. wait a few years, then comeback here , but on the side of the "wife cheated".. and feel how good is it... one thing I can't understand , what is wrong with dating single guys? or do you enjoy being the second option, whenever he has time of feel like seeing you? I just can't believe you truly enjoy this situation, now if you DO enjoy, have you ever considered to see a psychiatrist?

idispair, perhaps you should reread her post again. ;) It's indeed a good one. Women that sleep with married men are usually not hunting for them. It's not a power thing either. Also, I do believe a man said it goes both ways married men cheat on their wives. Keep your man happy.

Yes, life would be much easier if I simply decided not to care about anyone else. My father met a woman like you and our family and my whole world wasnt worth enough to stop him from ripping it apart. It was his promise but you helped him to break it. Now my family is gone and I'll never see my dad the same way. I couldn't live with myself if I inflicted this on another person. At the very least I would be afraid that one day someone decided to knock the ground from under my feet...

But if it wasn't that woman it would have been another one... Men who want to cheat will cheat n no one will stop them.

not all men who have cheated do it repeatedly, sometimes it takes a very special woman to make them forget their marriage vows, you ever think that maybe if you had said no he wouldn't have done it, it happens. Sometimes good men are led astray by slutty secretaries who can't keep their hands or their googoo eyes to themselves, my brother was seduced by one of you once, he immediately called his wife crying and told her the whole thing, guess what he hasn't cheated since, and its been 10 years.

A lot of people would consider religious reasons, the Bible, and things like that as reasons that say not to do what you are doing. But, if you are not religious, then this type of thing seems like a rebellion. You were probably very controlled as a child, maybe very controlling parents or meddling parents, and you are stating you are doing something because you WANT to. It seems like you lack control over your life and by doing something most people consider immoral, is your way of being in control of your life. Maybe you could get more control over your life through other things than men? Men who feel controlled probably get a sense of freedom when they are with you so both of you are acting out your psychological problems in the same way. You are both rebels without a cause. But, if that makes you happy, so be it. The only thing is karma is a *****. But if you dont believe in that either, then oh well best of luck.

well put, i really hope they get what they give back 10 fold. I love karma.

I fully agree with you GH. I too seem to be a married man/ taken man magnet. If I fall for them and get hurt then that's my problem. But the other woman is not my problem. <br />
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@idispair: With regards your comment, you are obviously very judgemental but small minded people like you aren't able to appreciate other people's situations. I pity you, not us.

I pitty her too!! life is too short n there is no time for restrictions ;) enjoy life to thfullesg even if it means having a married man. If he doesn't sleep w u he will sleep w another women, so might as well do it :)

i sure hope heaven and hell don't exist for the sake of some of you people, it would be a shame to burn for all eternity over a little fun, wouldn't it?

somehow I admire you for being a good wife "before" and a mother to your children. but still doin the things you know its wrong is your choice. what we are talking here is wrong is still wrong. we are blessed to see what others are suffering for their relationship but still didnt learn from it. I experienced before that my husband cheated me but I try hard to fight to keep these relationship and the what we so called family. I try hard to tell him the importance of family and what we are before it happened. what we forgotten here is to look what we are before, why we are fallen inlove with each other before. try to keep reminisce the past before you do some action, it will help a lot. I am an Asian girl but I respect you guys.

Girl, I agree with you. You are not the cheat they are, if they are not happy, not your problem.<br />
These men are not real. For me....pass time

I have been, and will continue to be "the other woman". I'm so damn independent that sex with a married man is hot, heavy and then OVER. I go on with my life and he goes on with his (but always thinking about the sex I let him know he's missing). I love sex without emotion - it frees me up to BE REAL in bed. Do what I WANT I say! I don't LOVE married men, I desire them because their sex is uninhibited and sometimes frantic and passionate at the same time.

and because you're a w****. I honestly rank prostitutes above mistresses. especially repeat offenders. The reason you date married men is because you've slept with so many men no decent man will have you anymore, they want girls like me, who can count the number of partners they've had on one hand!

Wow, you're bold. <br />
I can't pat you on the back and say that you're post was great, but it is honest. I was cheated on so it's very hard for me to let you off the hook that easy. I am the wife that bends over backward in life and in bed to make my man happy. Our problem is that my man is an alcoholic who loses all good judgement after his 5th shot of Jim Beam. For you to say that its not your bad, and that it's only his, is almost funny to me. I do think that maybe later in life you won't feel the same way. <br />
If you knowingly go into a situation with a married man, than I do hold you accountable. Not just you, any woman that would do this. Many men will cheat, and there are many women that get their rocks off being with a married man. I get that. But please don't ever fool yourself into believing that you are innocent. <br />
Maybe if women held themselves to a higher standard, only prostitutes would be coming up. Somehow I would almost feel better if my man paid for whatever it was that he was lacking over giving it up for free to a woman that knows about me.

Very good post although in my case it didn't make me happy. I think we should ask why certain people get married just as often as we ask why certain people cheat.

men seek you out because you probably take care of yourself, your independant, and know how to socialize. Married woman loose these qualities. nothing better to a man, but a hard working, finacially independant free spirit who struts her stuff because she can. hahaha it is what it is.

Just another excuse your type makes up to justify your ill behavior.
The truth is, women who sleep with men who already have a significant other, are simply jealous. Ever notice how these type of women always target men who have nice looking wives? It is simply an ego booster for you. Ever tried stealing the husband of an ugly wife? No..that wouldn't be rewarding to your ego's

We will always have something you will never have. It's called self respect. We don't have to sleep around to gain popularity with men.

Your type can be spotted a mile away. It shows in the way you carry yourself, In the way you wear your clothes and the type of clothes you wear. It shows in your speech. It shows in your body language.

There is nothing special about your type. You're all over the place, ever town has women like you.

Men don't seek you out because your independant, know how to socialize. They don't even seek you out. You chase after them.

You offer to give them something for free and promise to keep it secret so their better half doesn't find out. Because believe me, if you don't offer to keep it secret, they wouldn't want anything to do with you.

I have been the other woman and it was horrible, it was with an ex and I thought we were working on our relationship and he went and married another woman. I found out like six months later on facebook. It disgust me. I felt disgusted. I told his wife about it, and she flipped out and accused me. I just thought we should both know that he was a ****** person. After all he did lie to me too! But she refused to believe that he would ever do that and it had to be me. I hated it, I still hate it. It makes me sick to think about, and I refuse to let it happen again!

I have been the other woman and it was horrible, it was with an ex and I thought we were working on our relationship and he went and married another woman. I found out like six months later on facebook. It disgust me. I felt disgusted. I told his wife about it, and she flipped out and accused me. I just thought we should both know that he was a ****** person. After all he did lie to me too! But she refused to believe that he would ever do that and it had to be me. I hated it, I still hate it. It makes me sick to think about, and I refuse to let it happen again!

Wow..I am really disturbed by the number of "women" who salute this type of behavior. This is nothing to brag about. The simple fact that you excuse yourself from the harm you and the so called husband are doing to the wife speaks loudly about your charactor.<br />
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If the mans gonna cheat he might as well cheat with me attitude does not excuse you. You having sexual relations with another womans husband is simply wrong. It doesn't matter the reason. It is still wrong.<br />
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If the man wants to be a low life person so be it. If you want to be a low life person so be it also. But don't expect persons with higher morals to applaud your bad behavior.

Just remember genguy that karma is a mother effin biatch!

This kind of makes me angry. Not because of your decision to do what you do, I have said before, I don't think animals of any kind are supposed to be monogamous. but because you sound so defensive and angry about your decision to do what you do. Who are you mad at? I have been involved with a married man and it was 90% about sex and the other 10% about being human and needing that connection you get from sex. Ok, so it was 100% about sex. I of course will always accept responsibility for my actions and deal with the payback from family and friends if it should come out, but I am not mad at anyone about it and I certainly won't place blame on him when I am right there, willing to get involved. My relationship with anyone and everyone is and will always be my responsibility.

You know what? It's funny that u say all of theese things because It reminds me of how I USE TO BE.I use to think and feel the same way as u and all theese other ladies on here who are hi-fiving this crap,until the wife of the man who I was Madly in love with told me that for every bit of pain that I put her through,she prayed that I recieved double,and guess what? I am. It was 3yrs ago but til this day im still hurting.Even If u never fall in love with one of your borrowed men,You're gonna fall in love with some man and if he cheat on you,you're gonna feel the pain that thoose women that you have hurt .well helped to hurt.karma is real my dear! And i'm living proof.


I have slept with marriedmen before, and I'm sure I'll do it again. Why? Because I want to. Because he wants to. Because there's not really a reason NOT to. - ill give you a reason, BECAUSE THEIR MARRIED!! jesus is that really not good enough for you?

When you are falling asleep alone in your bed, we all know the kinds of insecurities that eat you alive.

When you are falling asleep alone in your bed, we all know the kinds of insecurities that eat you alive.

Good for you newblonde! Ellagrace, have you ever been in this situation or have any of your loved ones, friends? I am curious as to where you derive your statistics. It might be helpful to know that sometimes these affairs are not strictly about sex. Believe it or not, sometimes emotions are involved. There is enough hatred and judgement in the world. What we should all be focusing on, as newblonde wrote, is support and understanding. Where is all this close minded judgement coming from? And, not to be petty and sink to your level...but I was and am better looking than the wife. I fell in love, had an affair with a married man and he left his wife; we are now dating! I am not proud that I had an affair, but feel extremely lucky to have found someone that I am in love with. We mean the world to each other....and neither one of us has any STD's!!!!

i sincerely hope he doesn't do to you what he did to his wife. it could happen.

I hope he does

mother always said that what they do with you, they'll do to you and i've seen many examples of that in my life.

You are right on the mark. Men and women will cheat regardless of how good their life is at home. No matter how much sex they are getting at home they will still look elsewhere for sex.<br />
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I had this one guy tell me that he gets all the sex from his girl at home but he messes around because he wants the variety of p***y. He just can't see himself with one p***y all the time.<br />
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I had another guy tell me that his wife is his queen and he would not dare have her give him head or do doggystyle because queens don't do that type of stuff but yet instead he goes out and pick up girls off the street and have them do everything to him because he said they are trash, worthless and nothing to him.<br />
I told him that if his wife would want to be a freak in the bedroom would he let her and he said no. Queens don't act like freaks.<br />
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Sometimes it is not love it is just lust and sex and that is why the feelings are there in the first place. But once the sex starts, then sometimes it turns to love.<br />
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I have friends who say that they only mess around with married people because of the no strings attached rule. They can come and go as they please while the mate has to go home to their other half or take the risk of getting caught.<br />
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I have no problem with messing around or my partner messing around because it is going to happen either way and nothing you will do or say will change that. That is life. I just don't want to know about it or who he did it with. Give me that much respect.<br />
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I have not seen a couple yet who has not messed around in the past or present.<br />
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My men friends claim that they will only mess around with married women because married women are wholesome and clean and they have only been with their husband plus the woman has to go home and the man can go where he please.<br />
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My female friends claim that they like the thrill of having a married man, getting their money, riding in their car and knowing that they are sleeping with another woman husband. Just like the man, the female likes the freedom of coming or going without any strings attached.<br />
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After awhile it does get tiresome but that is how some people want to live their life and it is not up to us to judge or criticize.

i agree with you that people can and will cheat simply out of a desire for variety or because they're greedy. cheating doesn't necessarily signify a problem at home. most people i've known that cheated, there was nothing wrong with their home life but they simply wanted a taste of something new yet never gave up their spouse for the piece on the side.

I 100% agree that the CHEATER is the person most responsible for the problem. However, even if you don't know his girlfriend/fiancee/wife, you still know she exists and you should still respect her. Just because HE says she lies, spends too much money, denies him sex, etc. etc. doesn't mean it's true. A lot of guys play the victim to get women to be more willing to have sex or date. I think the other woman loves the idea of a married man wanting her as if it makes HER some super desirable woman that no man, even attached ones, could resist. In actuality, married or otherwise committed men are not at all picky when it comes to chosing their side projects. Most of the time, the other woman is LESS attractive than his wife because he doesn't care about her. He just wants fun and will pick up anything desperate enough to blow him. Truthfully, I'm not desperate enough to go after unavailable men. Wish more women could say the same.

i wish i could vote for this comment more than once. great response!

Oh if only more people felt like you! Thank you so much!

I am not married and I feel threatened because I don't want HPV or herpes. Why is it that only 2% of married guys divorce their wives for the other woman? Because the other woman isn't worth **** most of the time. P.S. If I was with someone who cheated, I'd dump them in a heartbeat. No question. My man is sexually satisfied. Oh and most people in the world think like me. Unlike you, I don't need to suck **** all the time to get attention.....not that I don't love doing it for my man anyway. :)

rock on, ellagrace! lol

Thank you!

i find it more than a little amusing that some feel by screwing a married man makes them a married person. all it makes them is a trick on the side, a free cow. no need to buy the milk when they're getting the whole cow for nothing lol

Exactly, Jerrica. Married guys that hit on other women are PATHETIC. Women who go for married guys are just as pathetic, but they're also idiots to think they actually mean something to him. Very few do. Most get dumped the second the wife pays more attention to him or finds out.

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There seem to be two amps regarding this issue. One camp understands and the other judges. What strikes me about the judgment amp is that they take the stance that women chase married men. While some women do, it is often quite the opposite where married men chase the woman. <br />
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Another thing most people don't talk about is married/committed women who have affairs. Maybe it is because women tend to be much more cautious when they do. But the man who has an affair with an unavailable woman, is he then the chaser and responsible for the affair like women are supposed to be when they have affairs with married/committed men?

Yes I get your point and the man is the actual punk, but look at it this way,dont really care it seems but for the record,say couple 15 years kids ,and they are going through a bad time in all the years they have always worked things out, this time hes very busy at work and shes been sick w/the flu so they havent began working it out the couple have a good sexual relationship, that has never been there problem at least 2 times a week they have sex,he gets alittle crazy if they dont he loves sex,so its been 10 days and he is going home early to make up w/wife cuz he want her bad ,in walks, wat was your name anyway she starts flirting w/ him at his job of course he gets very excited (if a guy looked at himhe would have felt the same way its about sex whatever your saying it sounds like blablab... he says let do this,you go to a back room where the exchange is made,meanwhile the wife feeling better and wanting to make up as well goes to surpraise her man,catches you 2 and flips out long story short heart broken she cant get over it and files for divorce you go about your not enough woman to have your own man way and the family is destroyed and lifes go from good to devastated,Are you saying oh well even though he hadnt cheated the whole time it had nothing to do with you when grown up have relationships they go through hard times it some broken down selfish winch doesnt cross paths w/all men are horny it not that hard to get them to have sex w/any ho,they can work it out, what comes around goes around id never do that why i have too much respect for myself and woman have to stick together men do so get a clue

tough situation...but I admire her honesty...I've recently found myself in the same situation...and well...what can I say?

This is more complex than simple. If flings with married men were good with no drawbacks, mothers would have started advising their daughters to do this thousands of years ago. In theory, you don't get hurt or suffer and all you get is attention, good lovers, and fulfilled. But reality is different. In life, we want to collect friends whom we respect and admire. If we are spending our time with cheaters, we are robbing ourselves of good quality relationships with men, women, and family. There are only 168 hours in a week. Alternatively, to get 100% pure adulation from a married man who works very hard to please you and is exciting to be with because of the secrecy and naughtiness excites him, could be worse. Like all things in life, if you sleep with married men in moderation, before you have met a man who really loves you and you love, then it's the kind of thing you will cherish as you grow older, not regret. Sadly, as you age, and get married, you will realise the flip side of the coin. You husband will grow bored with you in bed, unless you work very hard to keep sex exciting and adventurous for him. After all as the other woman, you are merely fulfilling that role for a married man - someone who is an adventure. I'd bet that if that married man ever had to halt his sex advances while you breastfed a baby, cleaned a house, or paid your bills, he'd be off in hunt for his next love conquest who is not his wife. So long as you never expect that you are more than his plaything, you won't get hurt. But it's very hard to give your body over to a man yet remain detached emotionally and socially from that lover. That's why this issues is a little complex. I'm a faithful 53 year old married man.

Is that really how men think?

What? If his wife is busy breastfeeding or cleaning he runs straight out the door to look for another woman? Wow!

This is more complex than simple. If flings with married men were good with no drawbacks, mothers would have started advising their daughters to do this thousands of years ago. In theory, you don't get hurt or suffer and all you get is attention, good lovers, and fulfilled. But reality is different. In life, we want to collect friends whom we respect and admire. If we are spending our time with cheaters, we are robbing ourselves of good quality relationships with men, women, and family. There are only 168 hours in a week. Alternatively, to get 100% pure adulation from a married man who works very hard to please you and is exciting to be with because of the secrecy and naughtiness excites him, could be worse. Like all things in life, if you sleep with married men in moderation, before you have met a man who really loves you and you love, then it's the kind of thing you will cherish as you grow older, not regret. Sadly, as you age, and get married, you will realise the flip side of the coin. You husband will grow bored with you in bed, unless you work very hard to keep sex exciting and adventurous for him. After all as the other woman, you are merely fulfilling that role for a married man - someone who is an adventure. I'd bet that if that married man ever had to halt his sex advances while you breastfed a baby, cleaned a house, or paid your bills, he'd be off in hunt for his next love conquest who is not his wife. So long as you never expect that you are more than his plaything, you won't get hurt. But it's very hard to give your body over to a man yet remain detached emotionally and socially from that lover. That's why this issues is a little complex. I'm a faithful 53 year old married man.

You have obviously never been cheated on by a man u love...<br />
Mayeb you are INCAPABLE of LOVE? I think it is a shame that so many women are willing to take a man who is obviously a jerk, sleep with him and then just walk away. What about all the children involved in these marriages? We didnt get into this ****** up state of social affairs for nothing. If Dad cheats and gets away with it then "little Johhny" will grow up to be a womanizer too...and maybe your daughter will become a ***** just like you!

Also it's not the only thing you'll be catching from this, Try STD..

Also it's not the only thing you'll be catching from this, Try STD..

You have this attitude of 'well it has nothing to do with me if he cheats', and the thing is it has everything to do with you.. it takes 2 to tango and you're contributing to the 'cheating', well you know what they say.. What goes around comes around. I hope you get married and your husband does exactly the same thing to you..

A newbie here, but liked the honest opinions. I am married and get tempted once in a while. Does not mean that I don't luv my family, but like the EMR some how. Have been with other girls but no harm done for any one :)

here here.....<br />
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it's not like we want to "steal a man" or be a home-wrecker....we just want to borrow them for all the fun stuff & then they can go home and deal with all the not-so-fun stuff...<br />
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my reasoning for being the "other woman".....I don't want a relationship - I like being "under the radar".....I have always been "that girl" & don't feel I'm "being used" as a previous poster works for me & let's face's all about me ;)<br />
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Thanks for "putting it out there"

You couldn't descibe it any better, the unapologetic feeling of having lust and/or love of a married man. Very enlightening of my own true sense of the situation of being the other woman.

What country & state do you live?

ok all of you sound like you dont understand the just of are not the other woman if its all about the sex....being the other woman is about having a full blown relationship.... and yes some times there is something amiss in a marrage(one reason for cheating) or he/she could be a serial adulterer or there could be a hundred other reasons for a cheater but non of them are comendable or cut and dry as they may seem.<br />
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the thing is when your the other woman you know its wrong you feel guilt(and many other bad things) and it definatly spurs emotional growth in any human being but most of all the larger percent of extra marital relationships end with alot of hurt, dished out to all the parties involved.

you not only have abdicated any responsibility here - but you have decided to lay it all back on everyone else as "their issue". <br />
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See - the issue isn't that you are chasing, or being chased. The issue is that you don't value yourself as more than a side dish - which is sad. It could be that you have trust issues, and no wonder with your behaviour. Perhaps you are lazy and don't want to make any effort to making a relationship....because really - if it's there and available I don't know many men that wouldn't take advantage - it's not as if they have any fear of recrimination from someone who doesn't value themselves. <br />
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See - its far more your issue - your lack of self esteem. And the fact that IF you ever did find someone who was willing to enter into a relationship with you, YOU wouldn't be able to trust them. Because sweetie - you have pulled every trick in the book - and you are ( hopefully ) smart enough to know that HE goes home to HIS relationship. And guess what ... you are now the one he comes home too. <br />
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The justice of irony.

There is a reason NOT to. We all owe something to people we don't know. lts called consideration, respect, and respecting boundaries. If I viewed things the way you seem to I would just go around doing whatever I want without any consideration for anyone else. I would cut people off in traffic; cut in front of them in grocery, movie theater, and other lines; let my dog poop on their lawn; bump into them; loudly talk on my cell phone or to whoever I am with in the theater during the movie, at a restaurant, or wherever; blast my stereo late at night or have loud parties; spill things on people; drive across my neighbors lawn; and things like that, without giving a damn about who I bother or affect. Do you see what I am saying? <br />
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It is common courtesy and human decency to have respect and consideration for other people even if you don't know them. So saying you don't owe another woman any loyalty, which translates to consideration or respect for her marriage, because you want to have an affair with her husband without giving it a second thought is very inconsiderate and selfish behavior. That is unless you are just a rude, selfish, self-centered *****, who goes through life without ever giving a **** about anyone but yourself and the people you know, and who shows strangers absolutely no respect or consideration? If you are I think you really need to take a good look at yourself and change your thinking because eventually it is probably going to come back to bite you and cause you some serious problems in your life.<br />
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I think that being involved in something that you know has the potential to cause another person a great deal of pain, and just not caring because you don't know them and you want to do it, is the pinnacle of selfishness and inconsideration. If the man wanted to kill his wife and you helped him figure out a way to do it, would you feel no guilt or responsibility when it happened just because you didn't know the woman, and you weren't the one who actually stuck the knife in her heart?